Plymouth Brethren, does anyone know much about this religion?

[Koolaidhighlights]

When DD (now 18) was at primary school she had a friend called Chloe.

DD was saying how Chloe was one of the nicest friends she has ever had. Kind and considerate. I agree she was a lovely little girl and her mum was lovely too.

However, she left when she was around 7/8 because her family were part of the Plymouth Brethren and so she was sent to a local school ran by the religion.

I have often wondered about this religion and those involved as it had some seemingly out of date rules and regulations. Chloe was never allowed to eat in front of any of her classmates if she did need to eat she would either go home ( her house was a few doors down from the school) or would have to be hidden behind a screen (according to dd).

Her mum was really lovely, always had time to talk, very friendly and polite as were all of Chloe’s siblings. I think the mum was a little more rebellious than the other brethren mum’s because although pleasant they never spoke to any of the other parents. All the women had long hair and would wear little head scarves, they were never in trousers, always wore skirts although Chloe’s mum wore leggings with a little skirt over the top.

Chloe would tell my dd they had no tv or computers and sang around a piano every evening. I did a little bit of research and not sure if it’s true but according to things I’ve read online they aren’t allowed to have any bad influences from the ‘outside world’ such as tv, radio or the internet. All those in our area appear to live only in detached houses (read they must not be attached to non brethren’s?) and the marriages are mostly arranged. This would not surprise me, the mum was stunningly beautiful and if you saw the dad you would absolutely not have paired those two together let alone having five children together!

Although the family moved away from our village some years ago they still live nearby and occasionally I see the mum, she always remembers me and will chat a little. From my experience they are all very polite and appear such lovely people.

But they do seem such an reclusive group of people and although they come across as so very friendly and happy as a group I wonder if there is another side to it all? I’m not sure any of the women are allowed to work outside of family business but maybe I’m wrong. Are they allowed much independence and are all the marriages arranged?

Does anyone know much about this religion?

Yes I have had some dealings with them. They are quite strange and very sexist. They are Ok with women working but not after they are married. Women need to wear long skirts and often have their hair covered too. They don’t eat with non brethren as you say and apparently also can’t share drains with them?

We used to live in an area with a lot of Plymouth Brethren. There was a whole shelf in the local library full of books about how to leave and this sparked my interest.

The church buildings are small, nondescript and have no windows. The women dress “modestly” and cover their heads. They marry young and tend to have large families. What I found particularly interesting is that when a young couple got married the church would lend them money at a low rate to buy a house. I have often thought that if the government wants people to have more children, it should help young couples be securely housed! The women I spoke to (in playgrounds, in supermarket queues etc.) were without fail polite, pleasant and educated. Some worked in family businesses (often large and successful and employing non-brethren as well as church members). They only socialise with church members in their own homes. There is no female church leadership. The other thing I found interesting was that several people had left the church when young and then come back to it. There was a telegraph article a few years ago about a man who had returned in later life, and he talked about the community support he had missed while living among the heathens.

There is undoubtedly an oppressive element, and I heard a lot about drinking problems. But there is something attractive about a community that looks out for its members.

Ah, that’s probably why they live in detached houses.

I agree with your last sentence. One thing I always noted was how bonded the women all seemed and they appeared to care well for their elderly, I imagine they all rally together to help look after the older and unwell members.

There does appear to be a very oppressive side for the women though but maybe I’m wrong?

Any group with a very strong expectation that women will marry young and have many children is oppressive. How much choice is there really to not follow that path? But I met women who were qualified accountants or teachers. They have their own schools (One School is their chain) and they do learn science and computers there, so it’s not like the Amish where they leave very young or are home educated. There are probably nuances depending on local Elders and the local community.

It’s not the life for me (I can’t cope with being told what to do, and it being a man doing the telling wouldn’t help at all!) but I am always interested in alternative ways of living and there are definitely some positives to draw from this group.

Not sure if this link will still work….

And they don’t do Christmas!

Link won’t post. It’s a telegraph article from 9 March 2025 called “What I saw inside Britain’s most secretive Christian group”. I expect the share token expired. But maybe you can find it another way!

I had friends at 6 form. They all stayed at school through a levels but then went to work in firms owned by their church members. One I’m still in touch with, she married at 21 to a lovely chap in her church but they are a bit more modern as they chose each other, they have 6 kids! But she does work as the financial director for her husband’s family company. Whilst she didn’t go to university, her 3 eldest have gone including the girls, but commuted to London universities

We have "brethern" in our area. Growing up they didn't have TVs, the girls always wore skirts and they weren't allowed to go to any parties. My friend grew up in it but married outwith it. Because he wasn't a member, they couldn't get married in the meeting hall, but got married in a hotel but the brethern man still did the service.

Nowadays women aren't allowed to take active parts in the service and still have to wear skirts and cover their heads. Lots of the fellowships are closing as the congregation are older and there aren't enough men to take part.

in addition to the people already described, there are other Plymouth Brethren sometimes called Open Brethren or just Brethren, who are not nearly as strict or exclusive, but they all take the Bible very literally:
“ Wives, be subject to your husbands” and “ Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers”. And all very lovely people in other ways, very supportive of others, with the Open Brethren not restricting their support to their own group.

I went to a Sunday School run by Open Brethren when I was a child. This year their church closed down, which surprised me. It suggests to me that their children and grandchildren no longer belong to the group, like practically all the children and grandchildren of my generation, I should add. Brethren were old fashioned when I was a child, must be even more so now.

I knew someone who ran away from the Plymouth Brethren. She was abused and absolutely hated it. She wanted to take her children with her but had to leave them behind. Her story was heartbreaking and she tries to contact her grown up children but they won’t talk to her. She had to start from scratch and build a new life. It’s absolutely oppressive existence for women.

There's a book called In The Days Of Rain by Rebecca Stott, who grew up in the Plymouth Brethren. It is fascinating @Koolaidhighlights I have it on Kindle

I come from an area that was strong in "Peebs" but it became one of the more open fellowships. This is the link that @SmallTreeDeepRoots referred to:

Plymouth Brethren: Inside Britain’s most secretive Christian group

My friend’s family left the Brethren and were completely ostracised by the rest of their family and community. They had an awful time.

It ticks enough of the boxes to cross over from 'religion' to 'cult'.

I was trying to remember the name of the book. I’ve read that too, very interesting.

This is the lady I knew, we used to meet occasionally and u didn’t know her well .but her story fascinated me and I felt so shocked and sorry for her.
She was writing the book when I met her and it’s now been published. It’s a very powerful and moving story. (She’s changed her name) www.amazon.co.uk/Out-Faith-Mother-Journey-Freedom-ebook/dp/B0DXXVNNDF

I went to secondary school with a Plymouth Brethren girl in the 80s. She stayed out of assembly and RE and if anything religious came up in a drama play or music we were studying, she'd look away and switch off. (Maybe to pray.) I remember she said they didn't watch TV or read papers as the outside world was sinful. They went to church every day. No hair cutting for females. She did very well in her O levels. 9 As, which was unusual back then. But she left after them to help in the family business.
I remember going on a school trip to London and she sat away from us to eat her lunch.

The film Son of Rambow is a gorgeous film with a Plymouth Brethren family in it. (Fictional.)

I had a really good job interview once, they seemed really keen on me - it was the perfect role and industry for me. As they showed me round I saw they had a huge kitchen area in the office and the said 'you'll be able to eat with us'. I thought it was odd but carried on.

Got to the end of the interview, it seemed like a sure thing .... and then 5hey started giving me pamphlets for the church and telling me about it.

When the agent rang and said they wanted to offer I declined and said because of the 'god thing'. He was amazed and surprised and had no idea they were giving out pamphlets.

Oh, that is very sad.

Thank you JollySmall, I'll look out for that.

It’s one of those religions and sects/ offshoots of religions that attracts men who have fetishes about women’s hair!

There must be some deep seated trigger in the male psyche that sends direct messages to their dicks when they see a woman with her head uncovered, it’s the only explanation I can think of to explain exactly why so many religions, both mainstream and offshoots insist on women covering their hair. Get over it guys, it’s just hair not snakes or tentacles.

My next door neighbours are Plymouth brethren as are two more families in the village. The women wear skirts and headscarves. They have their own business which employs multiple brethren families so certainly use the internet at work. They don’t participate in any community events in the village. I had quite a lot of interaction with my next door neighbour due to a very boring drain issue at the village hall (I am chair of the trustees) and it was all very polite, but I could see that he felt uncomfortable dealing with a woman outside his community, very little eye contact for example.

This. No one in the PB that I knew went to university. All others set up their own business (loan from leaders in PB), or worked for other businesses run by other PB. Marriages arranged. Girls lined up at 16 (no sixth form) and trained to be a wife basically. Very sexist and controlling.
School is all taught according to PB rules and staff do not eat with students etc no behaviour issues (see controlling), no biology taught and no evolution etc
Staff in PB school are paid very low on account of the ‘good behaviour’ but the schools are eerie and quiet and robotic