Plymouth Brethren, does anyone know much about this religion?

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When DD (now 18) was at primary school she had a friend called Chloe.

DD was saying how Chloe was one of the nicest friends she has ever had. Kind and considerate. I agree she was a lovely little girl and her mum was lovely too.

However, she left when she was around 7/8 because her family were part of the Plymouth Brethren and so she was sent to a local school ran by the religion.

I have often wondered about this religion and those involved as it had some seemingly out of date rules and regulations. Chloe was never allowed to eat in front of any of her classmates if she did need to eat she would either go home ( her house was a few doors down from the school) or would have to be hidden behind a screen (according to dd).

Her mum was really lovely, always had time to talk, very friendly and polite as were all of Chloe’s siblings. I think the mum was a little more rebellious than the other brethren mum’s because although pleasant they never spoke to any of the other parents. All the women had long hair and would wear little head scarves, they were never in trousers, always wore skirts although Chloe’s mum wore leggings with a little skirt over the top.

Chloe would tell my dd they had no tv or computers and sang around a piano every evening. I did a little bit of research and not sure if it’s true but according to things I’ve read online they aren’t allowed to have any bad influences from the ‘outside world’ such as tv, radio or the internet. All those in our area appear to live only in detached houses (read they must not be attached to non brethren’s?) and the marriages are mostly arranged. This would not surprise me, the mum was stunningly beautiful and if you saw the dad you would absolutely not have paired those two together let alone having five children together!

Although the family moved away from our village some years ago they still live nearby and occasionally I see the mum, she always remembers me and will chat a little. From my experience they are all very polite and appear such lovely people.

But they do seem such an reclusive group of people and although they come across as so very friendly and happy as a group I wonder if there is another side to it all? I’m not sure any of the women are allowed to work outside of family business but maybe I’m wrong. Are they allowed much independence and are all the marriages arranged?

Does anyone know much about this religion?

They are very much disliked around my neighbourhood as they buy up large houses, have a lot of people live in them together and then do them up on a budget (ie, badly) and sell them. They are insular and wear rather strange clothes, think grown women wearing elasticated midi skirts with socks and trainers and scarves over their hair. The local attitude is that they are unwelcome. However I have found them quiet and polite although reserved and shy.

It’s a cult

Sounds like a cult. Are you in America?

Not the PB, but brethern congregations are quite common around the NE coast of Scotland where I live.
Our local one has a large membership with all ages from babies to very elderly. Lots of kids go to the Sunday school and youth group compared to the more mainstream churches where there's barely anyone under 50.

I don’t know much about the religion but there was a girl in my class in primary school who was Plymouth brethren. All I can remember was she had to leave the room whenever the teacher wheeled the TV in and she couldn’t take ICT classes. She was very sweet, wish I knew what happened to her.

No, the UK.

I used to see a mother and her two daughters dressed in the long skirts, headscarves, long hair in our town, very calm and proper. One day I saw them in the huge underground car park of one of the big stores. It was closing time and the car park was nearly deserted. And the mother was driving around the car park like a mad thing and the three of them were shrieking with laughter. I remember how happy they were in this little bit of anonymous freedom. It was so different to how they usually presented. I wonder if they got other opportunities to be so joyous. A friend of ours was expelled from the Brethern at 16. He was being a teenager, breaking strict rules about eg seeing girls. His parents were told by the leadership to throw him out and they did.

Probably married with about 6 kids if any of the ones in our area are to go by.

I often wondered what happened to DD's little friend, she will be 18 now. I hope they don't have a husband lined up for her just yet!

That's so sad.

Yes it’s a cult (Christian adjacent but not actually Christian) There are PB communities all over the UK, it started here (clue in the name!) I confused why you would think the op is in the US although yes the PB are there too.
Gloriavale in New Zealand has similar values but not PB (different origins).
Lots of documentaries about both groups on you tube

As a teen I knew someone who was born into it. Her and her mum either left or were excommunicated- I can’t remember as I was about 14 when she told me so don’t really appreciate the weight of it all so didn’t take it in.

I’m not sure if her mum was also born into it, but when her mum finally left with my friend, my friend’s grandad was still in it so is likely the mum was born into it too.

sadly my friend experienced sexual abuse from a few people in that community before they left. She was about 12 when they left so she would have been very young.

I find religions incredibly interesting, and although I've never met any Plymouth Brethren folk before, I've read a few books and seen documentaries about them (there are a few on YouTube).

As far as I remember, the scarf/token in their hair is a sign of submission to their husbands and God, and also so that the angels can pick them out as the faithful ones during the Rapture.

Long hair is common in a lot of more fundamentalist religions, as women are to wash and dry their husband's feet with it. Skirts and dresses are because the Bible states that a woman should not pertain to wear men's clothing.

TVs, radios and computers are vehicles of the devil, and you may be bringing Satan into your home by having one.

They are to be 'separate' from the world, and cannot eat with unbelievers who do not partake in the Lord's Supper (in short, this rules out eating with anyone who is not part of their religion)

The Doctrine of Separation is partly why they have to have detached houses, and they cannot share drains with others, or share driveways and things, due to potential spiritual contamination.

From what I've read and watched, once you're excommunicated from them, you lose your friends and family, plus your job and home, and I suppose that if that's all you've ever known, going out into the rest of the society on your own might come as a big culture shock. As a PP mentioned it, Gloriavale is also a fascinating religious community, with a few books and documentaries about it.

I worked with a woman back in the 70s who was Plymouth Brethren. She had short hair, wore skirts just below the knee, no headscarf. She was late 40s and unmarried. The main thing was she couldn't socialise with us couldn't eat with us, could only talk to us about work issues. Sounds a bit different to other people referred to on here. I wonder if it's changed in the last 50 something years.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Behind-Closed-Doors-Ngaire-Thomas/dp/1869417305

This is another book by an ex-member that hasn't been mentioned yet.

I know quite a bit about them. We have a lot around here. In our village we have a PB church and my mum used to be a teacher at a PB school but didn’t stay long as she disliked it.

As a healthcare professional I’ve come across quite a few in a professional capacity and have visited some at home. There’s a couple of businesses near me which are owned and run by PB. One of my neighbours works for them.

They will only live in detached houses as they believe they “shouldnt share a roof with a non believer “. The women tend not to work and like you say have long hair, a small triangle head scarf or a large flower in their hair. They often seem to wear long denim skirts as well. They don’t have TVs or other electronic stuff for pleasure though I hear rumours that some will have a tv shut away in a cupboard and get it out when they know nobody is coming round.

They ime will be ok with electrical stuff which is considered necessary. Ie a computer is ok to use for work, do the business accounts but not for general web browsing. They will be ok with someone being on a ventilator in hospital but ask for the radio on the ward to be turned off.

when they have a baby the woman stays in bed for 14 days.

I was in sixth form with a very bright girl who was part of the Plymouth brethren. She won an award from a national engineering firm , they were so impressed with her they offered to fully fund her university. Her family didn’t allow her to take them up on the offer as getting married/having children was priority not education.

I was at school with a few PB. They didn't attend sex education or lessons involving IT or using the TV and their library books choices were quite restricted. Polite but didn't really socialise outside their own, always wore modest long skirts and headscarves. A friend recently got a job in a factory owned by the PB and I was concerned that she would not fit in (tattoos, quite alternative, forthright) but she says although the owner is quite aloof, the younger generation are kind, have embraced IT and, whilst quite naive in some ways have welcomed her and embraced her worldliness (very interested in her Facebook page, her holidays and the music she likes) when their dad isn't around.

There are many similarities with the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Their beliefs are almost identical.
I do wonder where the crossover started.

A friend of mine comes from a PB family. He completely turned his back on that life but his parents still keep contact with him, came to his wedding, etc. He has had a lot of mental health issues.

The bank where I used to work had to turn down mortgage applications from PB who refused to get insurance. Apparently insurance shows a lack of trust in God and submission to his will.

"Long hair is common in a lot of more fundamentalist religions, as women are to wash and dry their husband's feet with it."

I've never heard of this (and I've met a fair few people from such backgrounds). Long hair comes from a verse which says it's a woman's glory. While there is a Bible story about a women drying Jesus's feet with her hair, I've never seen that extrapolated out to husbands. Though there is a command to the disciples to wash each other's feet and some groups - both cults and more mainstream charismatic-y types - do take that literally, hair's not involved.

I lived in a village with some PB who I remember tried to buy a closed primary school because they wanted to open some kind of religious centre. I don’t think it worked out in the end. Very secretive - you’d see the women in pairs walking in the village, but never the men. They’d be wearing the long skirts and headscarves. Pleasant enough but very very private so not much else to share.

That said we were part of the Catholic community in the village (it has one CofE church, and one Catholic Church) and I sometimes wonder how everyone else saw us. We only really socialised with other Catholic families, attended the Catholic primary school, didn’t eat meat on Fridays, dressed fairly modestly, women not allowed to do certain things etc.

I suppose it becomes a cult if you get cut off completely if you decide to leave, or there are elements of financial/sexual/physical control and misogyny.

I'm pleased to hear that some of the girls go to university as one of my old friends works in a Brethren school and she is really sad when saying goodbye to her best A level girls who are just going to get married.
I went to primary school with a girl in the Brethren and she helped in her family's bakery which I thought was a pretty good deal aged 9!

I was a Science teacher in a PB school. Like all communities, there are good and bad. They want to have their children well-educated, which is why they all do GCSEs and Level 3 qualifications. Typically, they go into family businesses which generally have good reputations.

There's a lot to like about the Brethren, and lots of things you are glad not to be born into that community.

They actually have a reputation for being dangerous drivers.

I think it was mentioned in Richmal Crompton's "William" books. He has an aunt Jane who was in some way involved, and the story suggests that even then (30s??) it was seen as quite extreme. Something about not supposed to enjoy a lot of things, like fairs.