I'm pushing 50. I was brought up in a mixed marriage but with a "strict" Irish
catholic mother. I went to catholic grammar. Did all my sacraments and have a healthy dose of catholic guilt to carry around.
I feel like I was brainwashed as a child. I was told what i should believe without any justification or explanation. My mother made life choices for us which I feel adversely affected our lives. My father believed this was all character building. My sister is a complete non believer now and will not even discuss religion or philosophy
I tried so hard as an adult to reconcile myself to religion but i am so cynical given all the scandals in the catholic church now. I recently lost my father and I did a lot of soul searching. I don't think I believe in heaven. I think everything just stops. (even writing that i feel like i'm about to be struck down.....does that mean i do believe?) Are there any texts I could read or resources to help me get my head straight?
Does anyone else feel like this or have advice please.
Thanks xx