fled a good nurse on duty would be good 
Its ok I need to sort of write about today anoyway, both as a wee update but also its cathartic. At ChildLine when we are on calls we do case notes after (so write them up) and then at end of shift we have a debrief where we can talk about anything that is sticking in our minds, so its sometimes helpful to write/type stuff.
So when I went in she was happy to see me, I like that, she always is pleased to see me. I will worry when she shows no reaction to me being there. Expat went away for a break and her dh and I stayed with Aillidh. She was vomiting lots of bloody/clots every 10min ish, horrid for her :( And she had vommed in to her BIPAP machine tubes so was just on oxygen mask (although high levels of it) and so was getting exhausted.
Tubes got changed. And after sickness calmed down went back on BIPAP. She sometimes gets very panicy on it though - if anyone has any experience of it/tips for it then they welcome? She tolerates it well on the hole and she very much needs it but when she panics she claws it off and heart rate shoots up to 185ish. (sits about 160 normally atm)
Then Drs (oncology and PICU) had a big meeting, then took expat and dh away for a meeting to discuss the plans/strategy, so I stayed with her. And she had an xray too. Plans from meeting = continue with same meds atm, and on BIPAP as much as possible, they were considering changing meds and may still do so but xrays dictated their decision.
She has surgical emphysema (spelling?) and so this is causing pain in her neck so they were planning on increasing pain meds.
Someone asked if siblings allowed in - no. She is in strict isolation, so only parents. They are allowed to see her through a window. Only reason I am allowed in is because when dh was at home with kids then expat on her own so they let me in and I have just stayed being allowed in. Also the families home is a long long way from hosp (ferry ride away) Although they are currently with family in edinburgh. Expats parents have been contacted on their cruise ship and expat has asked them to come so they are making travel arrangements to come.
Any other questions feel free to ask. I keep getting asked if need anything - tbh all Aillidh is doing jsut now is watching DVDS. She has asked for high school musical, if anyone has a copy of that they dont need? She is not able to hold anything really, too shakey and weak so colouring etc is out for now. The only think I can think of to help is maybe M&S or sainsbos vouchers - living off ready meals/salads. And the cost of these mount. Today I bought food for expat and dh and it was £12, that was just 2 meals each. (It was M&S, but I wanted to buy them something nice, tempting, expat has lost a load of weight. and I wanted to buy nice and nutricious food - if you aint getting sleep you at least need good nutrients right?) (do I sound all american saying "right?" I have been with expat too much!!!!!!)
She bought me dinner tonight in the canteen, it wasn't too bad actually!