Misleading things people say. With translations.

[Swedes]

(Of 2.6 year old girl): She is ready for more.
Translation: I'd like to get rid of her for a few mornings each week.

(of four year old boy): He is so independent
Translation: he never wants a cuddle and couldn't give a damn whether Mummy is there or not

(Of 2.9 year old boy): He is very determined.
Translation: Won't take no for an answer.

(of dd2, 4) she's very willful

(she won't stop hitting me)

(of my 18 month old DD - said by nursery) She is very independent isn't she?

Translation: My God she is pig headed

(Of four year old girl): She's very flirtatious
Translation: She'll be pregnant at 11 if you don't watch out

(of preschooler) he's not ready for school
translation: I'm petrified he'll be ok without me

(of you lot) misleading things people say
Translation: anyone for a judgey-judge?

(of 10 year old boy): he's very laid-back
Translation: he's a lazy sod

twiglett: stop being so judgey judge
translation: wish i'd thought of this first

Always happy to give you his opinion
(never shuts up)

(of 6 yearold boy) He;s very lively, a real character

Translation : He's a right little shit

I'm going to potty train her when the weather gets warmer and she can run naked in the garden.

Translation: I'm going to wait for her to potty train herself.

(of 3½ year old girl): She talks freely about her home life

Translation: We know what you get up to at home

(thanks dd!)

(French mothers) I work four days a week and spend Wednesdays with the children but have a full-time nanny for extra flexibility
Translation: I go to the hairdressers/shopping/out for lunch/see my lover on Wednesdays while nanny takes the children to extra-curricular activities

(Of 2.6 year old girl) She knows her letters, colours and numbers.

She knows A, B, blue and number 1. Most days.

My mother in law is really helpful and is always available for emergency childcare
Translation: I exploit her goodwill to the full and withhold access to the children/her DS unless she does exactly what I want

I must work outside the home in order to be fulfilled
Translation: I must work outside the home in order to have an excuse not to be at the beck and call of my DH whom I am unable to manage

Mother of 1 year old boy: He needs to interact with other children more.

Translation: I need to make some new friends.

(Of Baby Bach music appreciation classes for toddlers.) It's really relaxing and so lovely when little George dances in time to the music.

Translation: Such a waste of fucking money. What was I thinking?

(other mother at playground this morning, on last day of school term): We are going to stay with my parents in the US for the whole summer - they have a beach house and my boys love to go out on my father's sailing boat
Translation: we can't afford a holiday this year and are going to sponge off my family who Thank God are rich enough to give my children a holiday equivalent to that of their schoolfriends

Twiglett - Not judgy judgy. Most of mine are autobiographical.

(mother at school gate) We are moving back to Holland as the school system there is so much less pressurised for the children and it will be nice for the children to live their grandparents
Translation: my son is failing at school here and my marriage is on the rocks and I want to get us settled near my parents for support

gosh anna's good at this

transl: she needs to get out a bit more

(Anna has cold exacerbated by hay fever and can't go outside )

"Not being funny, BUT, your DD",

translates as,

"I am about to be highly critical, but don't have the balls to admit it."