Misleading things people say. With translations.

[Swedes]

(Of 2.6 year old girl): She is ready for more.
Translation: I'd like to get rid of her for a few mornings each week.

[Anna8888]

I want an au pair for the summer holidays so I can have some childfree time to do some research
Translation: I want an au pair for the summer holidays so I can continue to see my extra-marital lover

[Bundle]

Anna

are you trying to tell us something

[Kewcumber]

"with respect" = "without any respect and brace yourself becasue I'm about to be very rude"

[Anna8888]

Not moi, Bundle

[claricebeansmum]

DH "Are we doing anything at the weekend?"
Translation: I have been away all week and then I have arranged to go cycling on Saturday and sailing on Sunday and you don't mind being on your own with DC for another two days do you?

[Bundle]

ahhhh anna

a friend

nudge, nudge

wink wink

[Anna8888]

More than a friend, unfortunately

[Bundle]

oh sorry

didn't mean to upset you

[MrsWeasley]

(7 year old on school report) she is always willing to do little job around the classroom

Translation: She just won't sit and get on with her work as she is always flitting about the room!

[Anna8888]

(my DP): I might have put on weight, my belt feels a bit tight
Translation: I daren't even think about getting on the scales and my trousers are about to split

[AMumInScotland]

"Don't take this personally but..."
Translation: I am about to say something very personal.

[AMumInScotland]

Ditto: Please don't think I'm criticising but...
Translation: I'm criticising.

[Anna8888]

(me to DP) I might pop by the sales this afternoon
Translation: I am intending to spend a lot of money on new clothes for me and our DD

[Anna8888]

(me to DP, when he asks whether I want a new computer/car/miscellaneous technology to replace things that are obsolete/dead) No, the present one is fine
Translation: there are actually many other things we need but I don't want to have to point it out to you, I want you to work it out for yourself

[Swedes]

To friend with monstrous DD: You will have to come over with Jess soon.

Translation: I'm sorry.

[Swedes]

Translation; Sorry, I don't like your naughty dd.

[Swedes]

notjustmum - LOL

[LittleMyDancing]

Friend - Hasn't he got a good appetite?

Translation - your child is such a pig

[LittleMyDancing]

Mother in park - They really push the boundaries at this age, don't they?

Translation - if you don't stop your little monster hitting my child right now I'm going to kick him into next week

[micci25]

friend; ill have your dds for the night
mother(me); are you sure dd1 is very active and a bit of handfull at times but dd2 is happy so long as she is fed
translation; are you sure you can cope dd1 will trash your house and beat up your dd and dd2 will eat you out of house and home if you let her!!

[misselizabethbennett]

Mother: He has a strong sense of justice.
Translation: He is a tell-tale tit.

[Bink]

claricebean - VERY funny (and too true)

[Swedes]

DP "Have we got my mother a birthday present?"

Translation: "Have you got my mother a birthday present?"