Misleading things people say. With translations.

[Swedes]

(Of 2.6 year old girl): She is ready for more.
Translation: I'd like to get rid of her for a few mornings each week.

I want an au pair for the summer holidays so I can have some childfree time to do some research
Translation: I want an au pair for the summer holidays so I can continue to see my extra-marital lover

Anna

are you trying to tell us something

"with respect" = "without any respect and brace yourself becasue I'm about to be very rude"

Not moi, Bundle

DH "Are we doing anything at the weekend?"
Translation: I have been away all week and then I have arranged to go cycling on Saturday and sailing on Sunday and you don't mind being on your own with DC for another two days do you?

ahhhh anna

a friend

nudge, nudge

wink wink

More than a friend, unfortunately

oh sorry

didn't mean to upset you

(7 year old on school report) she is always willing to do little job around the classroom

Translation: She just won't sit and get on with her work as she is always flitting about the room!

(my DP): I might have put on weight, my belt feels a bit tight
Translation: I daren't even think about getting on the scales and my trousers are about to split

"Don't take this personally but..."
Translation: I am about to say something very personal.

Ditto: Please don't think I'm criticising but...
Translation: I'm criticising.

(me to DP) I might pop by the sales this afternoon
Translation: I am intending to spend a lot of money on new clothes for me and our DD

(me to DP, when he asks whether I want a new computer/car/miscellaneous technology to replace things that are obsolete/dead) No, the present one is fine
Translation: there are actually many other things we need but I don't want to have to point it out to you, I want you to work it out for yourself

To friend with monstrous DD: You will have to come over with Jess soon.

Translation: I'm sorry.

Translation; Sorry, I don't like your naughty dd.

notjustmum - LOL

Friend - Hasn't he got a good appetite?

Translation - your child is such a pig

Mother in park - They really push the boundaries at this age, don't they?

Translation - if you don't stop your little monster hitting my child right now I'm going to kick him into next week

friend; ill have your dds for the night
mother(me); are you sure dd1 is very active and a bit of handfull at times but dd2 is happy so long as she is fed
translation; are you sure you can cope dd1 will trash your house and beat up your dd and dd2 will eat you out of house and home if you let her!!

Mother: He has a strong sense of justice.
Translation: He is a tell-tale tit.

claricebean - VERY funny (and too true)

DP "Have we got my mother a birthday present?"

Translation: "Have you got my mother a birthday present?"