How long should we support our son before pushing for any job?

[shona1]

18yr old son finished 6th yr in May. Didn't want to go onto further study and only job he could see himself doing was something in car industry - sales, after sales, customer exec etc. Hes a very chatty lad, great communication skills, friendly etc so I think that would suit him. He went to a few car garages with his cv,which took guts, but they just said apply online. Currently he's working part time in a local bar and loving it, it's only 3 nights per week though.
Trouble is he's not looking for jobs, me & his dad are sending them to him, husband helped him write a cover letter and his CV. he's maybe applied to 8 jobs, no success. He doesnt seem motivated, and although he does some housework he's staying out till late and getting update. This week I've cracked up so he has been home by 12, up by 9.30.
How long do you try to get the types of job he's after before telling him he has to get anything.
I'm a worrier, so worried for his future especially when I hear his friends have found apprenticeships.
He has Scottish higher in PE and 4 or 5 Nat 5's including English and maths

How is he funding his lifestyle? If he’s doing bar work for 3 nights, he could get more shifts.

Is he managing to fund everything he needs to live off his 3 evenings working in a bar? If you stop subsidising him which I guess you are then he will have to find a full time job even if it isn't in his preferred field. Nothing to stop him carrying on applying for what he wants to do but equally nothing stopping him getting a full time job in the mean time.

He's an adult and chosen not to go to University so he needs to earn enough to support himself and pay you as little for his food/utilities. He could look for more shifts in bar work or try telesales. If he can't support himself I'd be telling him he needs to up his game.

Its really hard to get a job now

It is but it's even harder if you only apply for your preferred type of job. I'm sure if he was applying for everything and anything and couldn't get a job OP wouldn't be asking this question.

He needs a different job, any type of professional job whilst keeping the bar work to tide him over. Look into car or boat manufacturers apprenticeships, rolls Royce in the midlands used to be a great employer and in Poole where I am now there's sunseeker. I know it's all harder and different now but there must be something. There will always be call centre work!!

Otherwise get him to post on local community Facebook page saying he's looking to get into car/mechanic/car sales industry and is motivated etc. Sometimes I see posts like that on my local page and some employers or independent garages do seem to reach out.

But he does have a job. In a sales environment, building highly transferable skills. . What is the issue with this?

He finished school in May and has a bar job 3 nights a week. Is the PE qual post 16? Can he do something with that plus his maths and english in sport/leisure? Can he get more bar hours to increase is earnings? In answer to your question - yes, any job whilst still applying in his area of interest

Can he increase his hours where he is or get a another bar job with more hours now he's got experience? If he's enjoying the bar work then why not stick with that for now, there are a lot of transferable skills there in working as part of a team, with the general public, handling money etc.

I'd leave him be. He has a job - he's learning skills, he'll get bored of it soon enough. I'd give him a year before I started asking questions.

The ball should be firmly in his court for making any improvements to his lifestyle. I'd certainly not be 'feeding' him possible situations, and certainly not financing anything like his phone, car etc.

What is he contributing to the household? Maybe a conversation is required.

If he finished education in May he’s doing ok.

in your shoes I’d be inclined to back off with the sending jobs etc to him but to say that he needs to cover his own costs now - so if you pay for phone/gym/whatever he now pays for it.

that gives a bit of an incentive.

Get him to cover all his own costs and charge rent. He should be more pro active in seeking full time work

It’s still ‘the summer holidays’ so maybe relax for now, but from September say you’re going to be taking £200 a month rent, and feel
its time he started looking seriously for a full time job, and that you will help and support him in this.

It's hardly a full time job with an income to support an independent adult lifestyle.

I'd start charging him board now, so he's not got as much fun money and start feeling the need for a bit more. Hopefully that should kick his arse into gear.

I would let him enjoy the last three weeks of summer holidays then say he needs to start contributing, so he needs to work FT

I would probably get him to look into modern apprenticeships .it is minimum wage and he can also study but I might wait and let him see out "the summer " i wouldn't be funding him though.

It’s 3 nights a week, that might be the issue. No one can afford to save up and move out and build a life on a 3 nights a week wage

He is 18 and left school less than 3 months ago, i think this is a little bit of an over reaction.

Let him have his last summer of freedom before the drudge of full time working life begins and he can never escape it.

Presumably you are in Scotland so he left school May/June? Did he do Nat 5s in S5 and S6, as well as Higher PE? Or did he sit other Highers and not pass? He needs a plan. Has he passed his driving test as car based employment would find that useful? You need to sit him down or contact careers Scotland and work out a timeline.
Im inclined to think, like others, he has to apply for more hours at his current job or look for bar work elsewhere the rest of the week. He should be paying for his own phone and gym

I expect things will change in a few weeks. If his friends have jobs/apprenticeships/university they won't be available to hang out with him so he will start getting bored. Those who are working full time will start to have money in their pockets and he'll feel left out when they get new cars (that usually seems to be the first thing)

Come the end of September Christmas temp vacancies will start coming up. I'd be pushing for that so he can increase his income while he looks for something he wants. Nothing like doing a job you don't like for a couple of months to make you up your game with applications.

FFS.
It took our daughter over a year after leaving Uni to get any form of decent permanent work.
I fear you are somewhat out of touch possibly?

My middle one was like this. We made his full time job getting a job. He had to leave the house at 9am, could come back for lunch for an hour at 12, but had to be out of the house by 1 and could come back at 4. Library to apply for jobs online and the rest of the time he was walking around local businesses and industrial estates. Took him less than a week to find work he just needed a rocket up the proverbial.