How long should we support our son before pushing for any job?

[shona1]

18yr old son finished 6th yr in May. Didn't want to go onto further study and only job he could see himself doing was something in car industry - sales, after sales, customer exec etc. Hes a very chatty lad, great communication skills, friendly etc so I think that would suit him. He went to a few car garages with his cv,which took guts, but they just said apply online. Currently he's working part time in a local bar and loving it, it's only 3 nights per week though.
Trouble is he's not looking for jobs, me & his dad are sending them to him, husband helped him write a cover letter and his CV. he's maybe applied to 8 jobs, no success. He doesnt seem motivated, and although he does some housework he's staying out till late and getting update. This week I've cracked up so he has been home by 12, up by 9.30.
How long do you try to get the types of job he's after before telling him he has to get anything.
I'm a worrier, so worried for his future especially when I hear his friends have found apprenticeships.
He has Scottish higher in PE and 4 or 5 Nat 5's including English and maths

The transition from school kid into the 'real' workforce can be difficult ...especially if there is no particular route like university, apprenticeship more college courses planned.
I would guess that most of his friends with routes already planned will still be on a kind of last summer leave with part time jobs like your son's.
He may, of his own self get more motivated come September when some of his mates go off to university/college/apprenticeships. I would leave it until then to start pushing a bit more. He may need to take college courses for a year in something like retail management or business studies to help his CV and he may feel more motivated to arrange this come September.
Lots of the further ed courses are still recruiting then and his part time work would provide spending money so this is an idea if he's uncertain about next steps.

I'd make him start contributing towards the household, and don't pay any of his costs. But give him a break on the job hunting, it's his choice, he's an adult.

Just to add ...if he doesn't fancy this type of course, which might help a route into car sales...come September I would be gently pushing a bit more regarding a full time job but bear in mind it's really tough out there. I would be cheerfully encouraging rather than when are you actually going to find full time work type conversation 💐

I suspect he hasn't mentally moved into adult mode yet because his college friends who are off to uni are still around, and he's always had the summer holidays off. The transition from having 13 weeks of a year at school (more at university) to 5 weeks is brutal, so I'd adore him one last long summer before the slog of working year round begins.

My son is the same school year as yours, OP. Since January this year "we" have applied for 56 apprenticeships, had 11 interviews, 3 second interviews and so far no success. He has 2 more second interviews next week. It is incredibly tough out there now, even compared to 2 years ago when my other child was in the same position. Applying to a few jobs here and there is just not enough.

He has chosen to enter the workforce so you need to treat him like someone in the workforce. Set his rent off minimum wage and working full time. 20-30% of his income should go towards housing. You can save the money for him, but he needs to face the responsibility of that bill.

he should also be responsible for his other expenses.

Rather than just beseeching him to find work, let him actually feel the financial pain of the choices he is making.

I think it’s good to have ambitions but if he is only applying for his perfect job he may be waiting a while.
I think you should encourage him to apply for any kind of job involving sales/retail/customer service to get some experience behind him.
Maybe let him enjoy the summer then say in September you’re going to need him to be bringing in more money to pay his way

In what way is it an overreaction?
He might not be thinking about moving out now with only being 18 but the way this world is not many people are going to get to say 25 and think I’m going to move out next month and be able to do it, it requires savings. The best time to be earning as much as possible is when you’re young, no big financial commitments and free to do what you can when you want.

Well it's only three months, I'd at least give him to the end of a school holidays.
When DS2 came back from uni he waited a few weeks before starting to apply for jobs. Then it was a two pronged attack. Applying for anything and everything locally to tide him over, while applying for what he wanted as a career.
It sounds like your son has at least got part time work for a start. Perhaps he should try and get more hours while applying for the "proper" job he wants

It’s bloody hard to get a job. Well done him for finding this one.

My 18 yr old ds works 30hrs in a pub kitchen, has no idea what he wants to do going forward though. I've taken pressure off as a lot of his friends can't find work.

All those talking about the summer holidays, once you have left education as OPs son has the fact it is the summer holidays no longer counts for anything. He isn't on his summer holidays he is under employed.

Also OP isn't saying he HAS to get a job just that he should apply for any job not just his preferred job which is good advice if you are under or un employed no matter what age you are.

I didn’t say it was full time. He’s only just got out of education and is already working.

The issue is that some people are really snobby about jobs. OP’s kid will have the next 50 years to work. Nothing bad will happen if he spends a few months working part time in a job he likes.

September.

If he knew he wouldn’t be studying I’m confused as to why he hadn’t already been looking for a job. It doesn’t seem like he has a plan at all.

Can I be very honest? He’s got virtially no qualifications, bar work is likely the best he will get if he doesn’t upskill in something work-relevant to his career. A higher in PE isn’t going to land him an admin or sales job nowadays. It’s not a numbers game with applications if you are not remotely qualified for the sector you’re targeting. Some PPs are woefully out of touch with dreaming up admin roles for him and I’d suggest they’ve no idea about the specific Scottish jobs market either. I was still working 30 hours a week in McDonalds at 23 despite having a good degree from a top uni and IT/comms skills. Applying for jobs isn’t the issue yet, he needs skills and qualifications.

He needs to be trying to work full time at least. Does he have any long term plan? At 18, there are still funding and training opportunities. My son was 18 when he started a L3 apprenticeship.

I agree but the OP hadn't said they were worried about it and seems to want the DS to be motivated to find a FT job.

Where in Scotland are you? I was looking for my own son and there's some apprentice sales advisor, internal sales and vehicle parts advisor roles and aftersales at Arnold Clark advertised on the Scottish apprenticeship website. If he's not going to apply for them do it yourself on his behalf.

Especially if you don’t apply for them like the OPs son.

He's 18 and presumably earning enough for his needs currently. the job market is dire. I have a newly graduated 23year old who has only managed to get a part time retail job. there are hundreds chasing each job and many professionals being made redundant also. I appreciate your concern but this is the current reality.

If you need him to pay you rent so that he can eat then by all means he needs to look for full time drudgery work.

If, however, you can continue to feed and house him then he is fine as he is. He has time in the day to apply for jobs and attend interviews.

You don't need to "worry" for his whole life just yet. What is this "worry" about?

Life is long, and getting trapped in a shit job, that you then "progress" upwards from is probably a disaster.

No-one wants to be a B&Q supervisor however good their saturday job ended up being.

Take a longer view.

This

Well thanks for your honesty, but sales positions/after sales in car industry do not state any qualifications above Nat 5. We know 2 lassies who have managed to get jobs in Aberdeen doing after sales/customer service in car industry with same level as DS. So yes,he may not be brimming over with qualifications, school just wasn't for him like a lot of lads!