what time is bedtime?

[lisalisa]

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21 month old DS - sleep time is 7.30-8pm, he normally natters to his toys for a while.

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DD - 22 months - 8.30pm (sometimes later unfortunately).
She wakes between 6.30 and 7.30am.

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Dd (3yrs 4mths) 7.00pm, Ds (5yrs 7mths) 7.45 to 8pm

6.45pm for DD2 (age 3.5)
7.00pm for DS1 (age 5.5)
7.15pm for DD1 (age 7.5) - although she then usually reads for 30 mins in bed.

This is school nights - they usually stay up later on weekends/school holidays.

They are staying up later tonight as DH flew in from Italy today and is on his way back home - so they are waiting up for him (about 8pm) as they haven't seen him since Sunday.

dd 3 and ds 5 go to bed at 9pm

Ds - anytime between 8:30 and 10:00 - he's 23 months.

DD (18 months) goes to bed at 19h00. I think I would go mad if it was later and anyway I need time with my dh too! Time to cook all those *$!!'# Annabel Carmel meals...

I aim for 8, but it tends to be pushed to 8.30, ds's age 6 and 9, difficult to get them at different times as they share a room. Both are usually awake at 6ish, which is a b**r as I only get up at 7! This morning it was 5.20!!!!

ah yes annabel - how we love her with her skinned and deseeded tomatoes - grrrr
ds - 8mths - 7pm on the dot - babbles himself to sleep with various stuffed animals in his face.

13 month old DD is normally in bed for 7:30pm, after her bath and a cuddle.

7.00 to 7.30 and no later. Used to be later when he was younger (now 15 months) but started enforcing some rules. Most of the time goes down without a peep but every now and then decides to kick up a fuss.

lisalisa - I've been thinking about this too, since DS's bedtime (2.5Y) has crept back to about 8pm (once we've finished the stories), but he WILL not go to sleep until 8.45-9.00.

WE moved him to a bed 4 months ago, with no probs because he started to skydive out of his cot - regularly - and we just had no choice. But that's definitely made it easier for him to keep himself awake (and us on our toes).

He gets up between 6.30-7am every day without fail, and is trying really hard not to have his afternoon nap too.

I must admit that I'm grateful for the longer lie-in in the mornings. When he used to be put to bed and sleep at 7pm (in his cot where there were less distractions), our day used to start by 5-5.30. So there's no more sleep going on now than there was then - just at more social hours I suppose!

So this report worried me too - similarly to your childrent, DS is clearly not getting nearly as much sleep as the powers-that-be have decided that a child of his age needs, but what can I do about it if he will not go to sleep?

My ds needs 11hours at night so I'm experimenting with 8pm so he doesn't wake earlier than 7am. But he's waking with teething at the mo so I woke him at 8am this am as he was awake for over an hour in the night. If he goes at 7pm he wakes at 6am which is too early for me. I think the litmus test for whether they have enough sleep is if you have to wake them in the am and they still seemed tired/grumpy. If so they need to sleep earlier. 10.5 hours doesn't seem so little for a six year old, though I have to admit, my sd slept longer at that age, but she is a real sleepyhead.

When my sister was little (she's now 20) my mum went to see the doctor about her lack of sleep. She would only have about 8 or 9 hours maximum a night, and rarely napped. The doctor simply said that all children are different and some just don't need as much sleep as is normally recommended. So, those with short sleepers don't worry at all. My sister is now a very healthy, active 20 year old who is doing very well studying law at uni. Oh, and she still doesn't need that much sleep now.

Bathtime starts at 7pm for both of them (ds1 2.5 & ds2 7 months). ds2 in bed by 7.30. DS1 by 7.45 although with these light nights he sometimes plays for a bit then puts himself back in bed.

My DS (2) goes to bed at 7pm - often doesn't fall asleep for at least an hour - wakes about 6.30am which I am happy with - he also naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon!

Dd's bedtime is 7pm. But this past week she's been going to bed at 8pm but by the time she's had her bedtime story and chatted away to me and herself it's nearly 9pm before she falls asleep. This is really late for her as she gets up at 7am. I guess the fact that she is still getting up at 7am means that she is getting enough sleep but I would still prefer her to be going to bed earlier. Will have to try and get back into the routine next week.

Do you know, after writing my last message this was really been bothering me, but then:

aloha - what a reassuring thought. I have never woken him in his life. He bounds out of bed in the mornings - these post-cot days - and comes in to wake US up. Of course he can't be tired or 'need' more sleep! How silly of me to get all neurotic.

Claireandrich - thanks to you too. I'm sure that DS is just hyperintelligent - just like your sister! Thank you for helping me regain a sense of perspective.

I do wish that 'they' wouldn't push these official pronouncements over what our children 'need' quite so forcefully. Many of these prescriptions do seem to lack much sense of moderation or variation due to individual circumstances, and can induce guilt and neurosis in any but the most perfect of parent, IMO.

DS1(9) in bed at 8 lights out 8.30,DS2 (6) in bed at 7.30,DS3 (1.5)7pm,I find this is the only way taht I can allow each of them some time on their own for story etc and get the homework etc done.DS1 often does not go straight to sleep but we have convinced him that lying in bed quietly is as good as sleep!

I managed to miss this article - how much sleep have the PTB decided that every child must get, or end up deprived???

Whatever it is I KNOW my son doesn't get enough - but what can you do about it? I can't MAKE him sleep, if he doesn't want to. His official bedtime is 19:00, but he rarely goes to sleep before 21:00, and sometimes it is as late as 22:30. Then he generally wakes at about 04:00-04:30 and is up for at least half an hour before settling again (can't say exactly how long - I just tell him to be quiet and go back to sleep, and then follow that advice myself). Then he wakes anytime between 06:00 and 7:30 and comes into my room demanding breakfast at 07:30 (because if he comes in earlier he once more gets the unhelpful response of be quiet and go back to bed. I'm not good in the morning.) So he gets on average I would say about 8 hours a night - which officially isn't enough for a child of his age (he is only 5)- it isn't even enough for me! But what can you do? He isn't tired during the day, and I would be more than happy for him to go to sleep earlier or get up later, but he doesn't seem to need to. So we have comprimised on the fact that it is after all his business if he is tired/sleepy or wide awake - as long as he is in his room and reasonably quiet (loud singing notwithstanding!) then that is acceptable. He sleeps when he is tired, and wakes up when he feels not tired.

Wish I could do the same....

Oakmaiden - I've cut & posted this from the mumsnet newsletter. It's credited to BBC Online:

"Children 'up too late': As many as two thirds of UK children don't get enough sleep, according to a study from Loughborough University. Researchers found by the age of seven the average child had missed out on 4,500 hours of sleep. Scientific evidence shows sleep is as important as healthy eating or regular exercise for a child's development, and it's believed sleep deprivation may harm neurological development and contribute to behavioural problems. Recent research from Israel suggested that even losing an hour's sleep a night could have a noticeable effect on a child's mental performance. Current official advice is that two-year-olds should get 13 hours' sleep a night (they get an average 12); three-year-olds should get 12 hours (they get 10.5); four-year-olds should get 12 hours (they get 10); five-year-olds should get 11 hours (they get 10) and six-year-olds should get 11 hours (they get 10). (BBC Online 01.05.03)"

Those are hours per night - with naps on top of it? DS (now 20 months) has never in his life slept as much as 13 hours out of 24, let alone that much at night. We're currently on an 8pm bedtime (though it's usually at least half an hour before he'll sleep) and up again about 7/7.30. That's the best we've ever had at night - even as a baby he never slept much - but he's dropped daytime naps too. Not sure what I can really do about it though - if he's not tired I can't make him sleep.

I just think children vary - I have a friend with a DS almost exactly the same age as mine, who still sleeps 7pm until 9 am, and 2 hours midday too. He obviously couldn't cope with the amount of sleep my ds has, and my ds would never sleep that long.