Halloween exclusion

[LondonMumra]

I opened the door at Halloween to most of my DD’s Y2 class (and parents). Someone had organised a party followed by trick or treating and not invited my DD. Then they had the gall to knock on my door and ask for treats en masse. My DD was upset and confused about why she hadn’t been invited and I was livid. While she hadn’t been invited to the house party (presumably as the Mum doesn’t like me), I really think one of the parents could have asked us to join them all. When I told other friends about this I was told I was being unreasonable. I don’t think I am. Thoughts?

Love this common sense!

Also, I am not remotely arsey. With the woman who didn’t invite my DD I am friendly (though she’s kinda aloof and cold in response!) and our DDs have attended the other’s birthday parties.

No 🤣🤣 i was simply calling out her response and tone which came across as abit arsey, someone asked a genuine question about numbers as it makes a difference

Say a class of 25 kids for example, then if 10 kids up in a group, her daughter isn't the only one who was excluded.. A class of 12 though and 10 turning up, then that seems more of a deliberate exclusion. It is the same for parties

It is ok for them to invite who they want and I think it’s ok for them to knock, they would have assumed you were doing something with your daughter (which you were). We go trick or treating in a group, for a few years it got a bit big (10 kids and parents) and it was bonkers and quite a lot of counting to check a child hadn’t tagged onto another group. I wouldn’t want to go out with a whole class group- that would be mad.

It’s tricky because when a house is decorated for Halloween, which I assume yours was, it’s nigh on impossible to get a group of children to skip it. So it could be they’ve just all headed towards it, and then there’s not much you can do. It’s tough - from Y2 you don’t get invited to everything, people form their own groups (kids and parents!) but I wouldn’t see this as a personal slight. Trick or treating with a group (as I did last night) if the house is decorated they’re running over to it.

This happened to my DD once. Only 2 other kids live on our street and we had a massive group - around 10-12 knocking on our door. I recognised the parents…some of them lived couple of miles away but had decided to form a group and come down our street - but didn’t think to include my DD?! Atleast 3-4 of them had been over for play dates and knew where we lived.
I didn’t let it bother me as DD wasn’t ruffled by it. I just went along - but I did feel ‘left out’ on my DD’s behalf.

Atleast yours was a post-party event. That’s a (weak) excuse?

As others have said, I think most people would assume that a child who wanted to go trick or treating would already be out there. Not at home giving out sweets.

Presumably most of the girls?