Why does our newborn have symptoms ONLY in our bedroom?

[ErickBroch]

I have a 3 week old and I am really struggling to understand what could be going on in our bedroom compared to the rest of the house when he tries to sleep.

He can sleep downstairs, in a carrier or arms, peacefully any time of day. When in his own cot at night, next to the bed, he develops many symptoms we don’t see any other time:

Extreme congestion, writhing and grunting for hours on end, a complete inability to settle and just discomfort.

What could be the difference between rooms? I feel stupid for not being able to think what it could be! He’s in the same swaddle in all rooms, for example, but as soon as in our bedroom he has all the above symptoms immediately.

To add - he is formula fed, we have the room temp measured.

Probably because you REALLY want him to sleep! Newborns are generally like that.
I could hardly spend any time in the house with mine.

Does he ever lie down flat anywhere other than your bedroom?

Yes, is he upright in a sling when you say carrier? Also the cot will smell a lot different from being snuggled against you.

Does he sleep ok on the livingroom at night? Its could be wind or just general digestive pain. Wind tends to be worse at night as they've had a whole day of milk to digest and their digestive system is very immature at that age so its only just getting started.

Thanks all for responding so far. We have a type of Moses basket and he sleeps flat in that absolutely no problem downstairs in the house! DH brought him down this morning mid-episode and he was settled in 10 minutes and slept for three hours.

Ive ordered a humidifier and a measurement device to see if this could be playing into it - not sure.

Isn't it the time, not the room?

Probably not what you want to hear but both of mine were like this - napped absolutely fine anywhere (including in their nighttime cot) but then overnight would be unsettled and grunting. With my first I felt utterly fobbed off that people said it was normal and they grow out of it. But they both did. I think it’s probably just something you have to ride out

I can bring him down at 3am in his swaddle and he settles immediately. Not sure if the room or the size or the cot compared to his Moses basket.

our room feels pretty cold IMO even thought the TT egg says it’s the perfect temperature according to the lullaby trust

I can accept that! I hope so. Just don’t want him being uncomfortable if there is something I can change. Especially as I can move him to a different room and he settles

Is the Moses basket smaller and more contained than the cot? He might feel safer in there? Or is the Moses basket raised slightly at one end?

Mine would sleep for ages in the pram laying flat downstairs, but not for long in the next-to-me unless I was lying on the bed. They all prefer different environments, and tend to be more grumpy and have more digestive problems at night (witching hour).

Ultimately, it's unlikely to be anything to do with the room and more just a baby being a baby. Sorry OP - they're baffling, I always felt like I was doing everything wrong! It does get easier, and they usually grow out of digestive troubles by around 12 weeks.

Put the moses basket in the cot and try that. Worked with my dd , when he trafered her to the cot.

Have you tried taking the mosses basket into your room? That would be a quick way to see if it's the room or the cot.

My son always wanted the room hotter than the recommended temperatures. Like a good 2-3 degrees Celsius and an extra layer. He's 2 now and is still like that.

To be fair, so am I. I just really feel the cold.

Can you put the moses basket on the floor in your bedroom to test if its the room or the cot?

Dust allergy, or allergy to something else in the room? (I'm not saying your room is dustier than the rest of the house but maybe it's a different kind of dust).
DS2 had similar, he was a dreadful sleeper, congestion, sniffing, wriggling, and I have always wondered if it was allergies as he now has hay fever as a teen (and is still a very noisy and cross sleeper).

Have you tried putting the Moses basket in the cot?

DS2 slept better that way. Think he preferred the more enclosed feeling.

Maybe he just doesn’t like the cot?

Also, both of mine would sleep like angels during the day but it’s very normal for newborns to be all out of sync and far more unsettled at night than during the day. Sounds more like a dislike of the big cold cot (from the perspective of a baby) combined with usual nighttime behaviour! Maybe try putting the Moses basket in the cot, or putting a heated pad in the cot before the baby goes in so it’s warmer, or decamp to the sofa with baby in the Moses basket for now!

Will he sleep for 7/8 hours straight in the other rooms in the other beds? I think it's probably more the time of the day that is the problem than the room. You are desperately hoping for 7 hours straight sleep, understandably! But a lot of newborns don't do that. You are possibly just more hyper aware of the not sleeping because that's all there is to do that time of the day, if you see what I mean.

A three week old should not be sleeping for 7/8 hours at a stretch at any time night or day. The baby will need to be fed at least every 4 hours at this age, most more.

Not what you want to hear but they don't call it the witching hour for nothing!

@ErickBroch I'll guess that most of the rest of the day the baby is either on you in a sling or in a Moses basket with movement and stuff going on.

Look up 'fourth trimester'. Most babies for the first 12 weeks or so basically can't regulate themselves, their sleep, their breath etc which is why they need the mother's body near to help them regulate themselves.

If they are somewhere and it's dark and they don't know where mum is because it's quiet it's natural evolution they'll get stressed and cry out - remember human bodies are not much different to how we were thousands of years ago. The baby's sensory system is telling the baby they have been left on the floor of the cave and might be eaten by a lion. Of course they don't sleep!

A few things you can do - cot with some movement like a rocker, white noise, side by side sleeper so you can sleep with your hand on baby chest so they know you are there.

Or else sleep when the baby sleeps in the day.

It's hard... the days are long but the years are short.

From a fellow mum of a former cot hating baby.

Such a good point. Mine was the other way, he's always boiling and used to go mad with anger when as a baby the midwives put hats and booties on him

Try bringing the Moses basket upstairs when they are that tiny cots can feel very big for them. At that age things change day by day try and do whatever you need to do to keep a routine and get as much rest as possible. Keep going mama your doing a great job xx

Do you have goose down or feather pillows and duvets? It might be he has an allergy to feathers if he’s getting very congested. Otherwise, as other PPs have suggested it may just be normal newborn behaviour when you need sleep.

try the Moses basket in your bedroom. But otherwise have realistic expectations of baby sleep at that age. They are biological wired to wake frequently and need contact. Make sure the baby js getting lots of daylight and fresh air in the day to establish their day/night separation