Why does our newborn have symptoms ONLY in our bedroom?

[ErickBroch]

I have a 3 week old and I am really struggling to understand what could be going on in our bedroom compared to the rest of the house when he tries to sleep.

He can sleep downstairs, in a carrier or arms, peacefully any time of day. When in his own cot at night, next to the bed, he develops many symptoms we don’t see any other time:

Extreme congestion, writhing and grunting for hours on end, a complete inability to settle and just discomfort.

What could be the difference between rooms? I feel stupid for not being able to think what it could be! He’s in the same swaddle in all rooms, for example, but as soon as in our bedroom he has all the above symptoms immediately.

To add - he is formula fed, we have the room temp measured.

Unpopular opinion but our DS didn’t sleep in our room beyond 2 weeks. We just disturbed each other, and needed different temperatures, noise and light levels.
He is now a healthy 7 year old, but still a light sleeper

You've had lots of sensible advice already from people who are far more attuned to caring for newborns that I am.

Have you considered that there may be a "smell" in the room that your baby doesn't like? Do you have any scented candles or plug in type things. Do you or DH spray perfume/aftershave in there?

Could that be what's making them unsettled?

Just a thought.

Some do, apparently I did as a baby, the midwife made my Mum wake me up when she was in the maternity hospital saying you must wake her up and feed her, my mum was flabbergasted having always been under the impression only a completely mad woman would wake a sleeping baby (that was the 80's)!

I have a friend whose 3 babies slept through about 7 hours from the day they were born.

My eldest didn't sleep more than 4/5 hours straight until he was 6 months and my second didn't sleep for more than 2 hours straight until he was 2 years old! 😖

This.

If it is lying flat - was for one of mine then you can take advice about safely proping one end on cot matress up which can help.

Yes same. I think the guidelines really err on the side of caution and it’s very common for babies to need an extra layer. If you’ve ruled out the bed and time of day through trial and error and you think the room feels cooler than downstairs, and especially if you’re following guidelines to the letter, that there’s a decent chance he’s cold.

He's only 3 weeks - he doesn't know it's nighttime. Likely he was more active at night on the inside. It will take time to shift.

Plus they make a lot of noise - grunting snuffling is quite normal, you might not notice it as much as in the day.

He will wake in the nightime for feeding - that will be normal for quite some time yet.

It will take time to adjust, but I would try the moses basket in the cot.

He might not like the quiet - it might be noisier when he naps - white noise machine?

Thanks all for the comments. I’m not sure where the comments about me expecting my baby to have 7 hours sleep have come from! To be clear I am happy feeding him when he wakes and is hungry, no issue there, I just notice a very significant difference in his body language when he is in our bedroom vs other rooms in the house.

will be checking with temperature and humidity later!

I also think it could be related to your bedding, as previous poster mentioned.