How can I make trips out with a toddler easier?

[BastetBaby]

How can I make leaving the house with a toddler easier?

Everyday I think: "OK, today we will go out"
Then it gets to mid morning and I can't face it. It's just so exhausting!

There's so much to carry! My toddler refuses the pram so I end up having to carry her, all the gear and a potty. It's about 20kg! And it's not like it's well distributed weight either. It's doing my back in.

The process of getting ready to go out exhausts me, so by the time we go out the door I'm already completely drained.

Playing in the playground/museum/whatever feels like as much work as playing at home, except now it's harder for me to have a snack or go to the toilet.

I know I need to take my DD out because it's hugely beneficial for her, but there are only downsides for me...

How can I make trips out more rewarding, or at least easier, for me?

(Extra context: DD is 2.5; she is generally a very chill toddler but demands a lot of attention - imaginative play is by far her favourite thing to do; I look after her every day as she's not in nursery.)

Mine have breakfast, then I do teeth, suncream, shoes etc and we go out by half 9. Get the snack ready while you make breakfast etc etc. I have a bag that I hang on the pram and try and bring the minimum, e.g., nappies, water bottle, a book or 2 if we're going by train. Also, I absolutely refuse to carry mine any distances. She either walks or sits in the pram. She's not 2 yet and understands (and mostly complies, ha!) so yours should grasp it pretty quickly if you're consistent with it. It is deffo a mission though. I really really prefer being out and about though so always make it happen whatever the weather.

Get her a trike, I don't know why but my DD loved it and absolutely hated the buggy.
travel lighter, don't pack a potty, pack the night before then get up and go.
I think your putting too much pressure on yourself, toddlers don't care where you go or what you do everything is interesting to them so don't overthink it.

It’s not motivation, it’s discipline. It’s saying that I know it’s beneficial for my daughter so I’m doing it regardless of how I feel about it. The more you do it the closer you get to it just being a habit, which means you do it every day because it feels weird if you don’t. For us that’s a walk every day after breakfast for an hour with my toddler. We’ve done it almost every day since she was a few weeks old. I absolutely didn’t want to do it so many times but it’s good for my mental health and good for her development, so I made myself. Now it’s just part of the routine and I don’t even think about it. It’s like brushing your teeth - you don’t wake up every day motivated and excited to brush your teeth but you know it’s good for you and you’d probably feel weird if you didn’t do it for a day. That’s because it’s a habit that no longer requires motivation or instant gratification.

Why not do things you enjoy yourself? I take my toddler round the charity shops, to art galleries, to places I want to go (within reason!). We go swimming a lot. We’re often at the park by 8am! I genuinely cant think of anything worse than staying home all day.

I do still go out even when I don't want to. It'd just be nice to want to.

I have fallen out of the habit though, so I probably need to get back into it by just doing it everyday like you say...

If she won't go in the pram, you need a proper carrier. You can go to a sling library to work out what you both like, before buying.

Belongings can then go in the pram, or a granny trolley, or a backpack you wear back or front depending on how you're carrying her. But whatever kind of bag they're in, pack it the night before.

This then avoids the two hardest parts of getting out of the house with a toddler- packing when they're around and awake, and carrying them in your arms.

God, both of mine were like wild caged animals if I tried to keep them in beyond about 10am at age 2.5. We had the opposite problem, we were out exercising them all the time and sometimes it felt like we were never in the house! We occasionally were at the park by 7:30am

Honestly though, as long as she is getting exercise and time outdoors, just do what makes the two of you happy. If that’s largely staying in then so be it. I’d go batsh*t crazy if I was inside all day with a toddler but I suspect my need for socialising and time outdoors is much higher than yours.

The only thing is I wouldn’t humour any of this ‘refuses the pram but refuses to walk’ thing. Those are the options and if she won’t walk I’d put her in the pram even if she’s screaming. Unless you get a decent carrier and have her on your back and put the stuff in the pram. I’m afraid feeling like a cart horse is just pretty standard with little kids though. It is much better by the time they are 4 or so, you barely need anything by then.

Just hold them on the loo. Honestly you’ll just carry it about. They’re great for holidays but you don’t really need one for daily stuff

Yes I used to like going round the garden centre, get ourselves a hot chocolate and meet a friend with another toddler for a chat .

We loved going on days out, when else in your life can you justify doing it several days a week! Mine also loved soft play and the little role play centre. So much fun.

I just enjoy it. Where do you like going with her? We like the beach, the woods, meeting up with friends in the park. This is the time of year it’s most enjoyable and I’m soaking it up now before it’s all wellies and waterproofs and stomping around in the cold and wet again.

The thing that motivates me is being out is better than being in. Kids play better at home when they come back nice and tired out from a long day out in the fresh air. If we’re out all day, my son plays beautifully with his toys when we get back and I get peace. If we stay in too much we piss each other off.

May have been mentioned but cba to read all the replies!
Could you try a trike? Same as a pram for you but more fun for the toddler! Win win.
Or take the pram to load up but use reins for little one so you’re not trying hold on to the pram and chase after them.

I have the opposite problem. I neeeeed to get out every day, there is nothing more stressful to me than staying home alone with a small child. My advice would be take less stuff. My kids have gotten out every day and I've never owned a travel potty, go to places with loos or stay close to home and pop home. All you need is wipes, a snack and a water bottle, maybe a jumper if the weather is changeable.

If there's a reasonable amount of walking involved or you're venturing further afield and need to take a bigger bag, take the pram anyway. It's easier than carrying everything and if she's tired she's free to get in it.

Also, don't beat yourself up if you find it stressful and only manage to get out a few times a week. Nobody can do it all. I'm great at getting out and about but terrible at doing educational play or crafting at home. I do know I should do those things more but I absolutely hate them so do the bare minimum. If that's how you feel about playgroups and days out then so be it.

Might be time for a couple of mornings a week of preschool though. Highly recommend it for both their socialisation and your sanity.

How long has she been toilet trained, because I have ditched the potty once they were dry just make sure we use toilet last thing before we leave and use toilets while out. I actually only ever took potty out with us in them first few days of leaving the house.

i would be putting her in the pram if she’s wanting to be carried. All mine were out of prams by her age BUT I did not carry them, if they needed carrying then we took pram, end of. Also I found with all mine by 2.5/3 I was no longer enough for them they needed pre school they only went for one or two morning sessions a week during term time but they thrived with the next step of socialising with their peers.

It is very difficult when they no longer want to go in the pushchair and makes things so much harder, I totally agree with you. My little boy has just turned two and he has refused the pushchair for about 4 months now!! I don’t mind too much because he hardly ever asks to be carried as he just loves walking and exploring, it also tires him out way more!

In your situation I would continue to take the push chair out so you can carry all your stuff in it, and then when your little one is asking to be carried you give them the option to walk or go on the pushchair, just be consistent and stick by not carrying.

Also, do you have friends with similar aged children who you could meet up with? It makes it 100% times easier to do it with others. I have two friends who I often meet up with to go to the park etc, we have 6 children between us and yes it can be chaotic but seriously it makes it so much easier having other adults with you who you can talk, moan too and support eachother.