How can I make trips out with a toddler easier?

[BastetBaby]

How can I make leaving the house with a toddler easier?

Everyday I think: "OK, today we will go out"
Then it gets to mid morning and I can't face it. It's just so exhausting!

There's so much to carry! My toddler refuses the pram so I end up having to carry her, all the gear and a potty. It's about 20kg! And it's not like it's well distributed weight either. It's doing my back in.

The process of getting ready to go out exhausts me, so by the time we go out the door I'm already completely drained.

Playing in the playground/museum/whatever feels like as much work as playing at home, except now it's harder for me to have a snack or go to the toilet.

I know I need to take my DD out because it's hugely beneficial for her, but there are only downsides for me...

How can I make trips out more rewarding, or at least easier, for me?

(Extra context: DD is 2.5; she is generally a very chill toddler but demands a lot of attention - imaginative play is by far her favourite thing to do; I look after her every day as she's not in nursery.)

I simply couldn't carry mine so it was a walk nicely or go in the buggy situation. Yes, there were some stand-offs and once a very helpful teenager helped me strap him into the buggy mid tantrum, but they learnt.

I always offered the choice when we left home, and I always had the buggy with me. I never carried him.

I've got a two year old and she's absolute chaos but I hardly take anything out with us. We share a water bottle, so I just take a couple nappies, wipes and a very basic light weight change of clothes. Don't bother with the buggy because she hates it, so we just walk everywhere very very slowly but often the journey is the most exciting part for her. We do better in big open spaces and gardens rather than parks and soft play. We also either go out after lunch or breakfast so I don't need to worry about food. Do you drive? That makes the biggest difference a toddler on public transport is next level 😫

Life with a toddler can be hard but my advice is don’t overthink it, cut back the stuff.
never used a travel potty in my life.
In the very early days of potty training just went places with toilets near by.
Take the buggy, always useful for carrying the things you do need and I find after a good run around a playgroup my 3 year old wants to go in it anyway.
Or just take a backpack, water bottle, wipes and a spare outfit is all I take.

Take the buggy anyway - at least you have somewhere to put everything. And if you need them to sit in it then you can do that.

Some good advice already about taking just essentials and things that will be most useful. I always take a few toys for my DGS when we go for a day out. Things I know he likes and will play with. I also get the bag ready the day before so it's just grab it and go. Also booking something is always a good plan - any play cafes or soft play near you? Also there are child friendly toilets so no need to take the potty - just leave it in the car or under the buggy if you really want to take it. You can be generally more solo somewhere like this - I get the whole Toddler group chat thing. I don't like this much either! But a play cafe/soft play seems to be less necessary to engage with other people if you don't want to.

Give us a list of what gear you bring, we can probably minimise it! Rely on toilets not potty, and just bring spare clothes. Easier than lugging a potty about! Consider a "granny" wheeled trolley to chuck everything in, then you still have a hand free for LO

What are you actually taking with you? I have a 2.5yo and also a nine month old. I actually spend the bulk of non-nursery days out as I find it easier than being at home!
I pack one rucksack with nappies, wipes, a spare outfit each, snacks/packed lunch and water bottles. I have that on my back, baby in a carrier on the front, toddler by the hand.

When we were potty training, I never took the potty out but I did take the loo seat insert and put that plus extra clothes under the buggy, regardless of whether 2yo was sitting in the buggy.

I actually agree with this on the potty thing.

i bought one of those ‘my carry potty’ things for like £25 and we’ve used it about 4 times, those being since he’s been properly potty trained and we’ve been caught short like in a long car journey. I have NEVER carried it around like to a park or whatever.

I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old and I can honestly say I PREFER being out the house. I find them enjoyable and can take a step back as both will do their own thing then sometimes come back together like for a swing. Love going parks, don’t love soft play so much lol. Swimming….

big trips like zoos and the beach we wait for weekends with daddy. But we do a ton of little stuff together, even today went to a free farm and park.

even with 2 I have one small bag with drinks for both, maybe a snack, change of clothes for the baby and some nappies.

I wonder if it’s your mind set? Oh yes and dependant where you go defo take a pram at the very least to store stuff!

Get her in nursery. Sounds like you dedicate your entire life pandering to her ‘I don’t want to’ ways.

Pushchairs are great for carrying things, even if not for pushing the toddler. I got a granny trolley when my kids grew out of the buggy lol.

Agree with all the other advise of taking just the essentials and not overthinking.

I had a child this age during lockdown when NOTHING was open. They even took down the swings and locked the playgrounds.

We used to watch Ranger Hamsa’s programme Let’s go for a Walk. We’d watch them to get ideas for our walks the next day. Somehow, being on a ‘Hamsa Mission’ made the kids walk further in the park and run around more.

Its so sweet all of you thinking I'm taking loads of stuff - I don't! I'm just a weakling! 😂
I take: wipes, one water bottle, spare trousers, hats, suncream (or coat in winter) and a lunchbox of snacks. (And a ring sling to carry DD.)

And the potty - but I'm definitely going to get one of those foldable toilet seat things.

Good ideas! Thank you!

I'm sure it is a mindset thing. But what do I do about that? Is there any way of making trips out seem exciting to me? How do you all motivate yourselves?

A hamza mission sounds so cute!

Granny trolley is a good shout...

Take the pram anyway. She doesn't have to go in it, but it makes a good trolley. Leave it packed if you have space to keep it up.

What do you like to do? Mine's only 18 months but can run away. We do something for me and something for him. Admittedly the something for me is sometimes the supermarket and Boots, but it can also be a run or a cup of coffee, then we go to look at the cows or dogs or ducks then go to the playground. We've had some good trips to museums where DS climbs all the stairs and DH and I take turns to climb stairs and look at exhibits.

I kept all of that under the buggy. No need to carry it.

Now my kids are older I miss the buggy sooo much!

Days out at that age were the best.

Wed get passes to country parks with a splash pad- great for this weather. We also had a Legoland pass. We’d go for the morning or most of the day and then she’d nap in the afternoon.
Toddler classes like gymnastics or music then lunch then a nap. Then maybe the library or a local park. Some CBeebies. Some mornings we’d do a playgroup.
Meeting with friends.

Being at home sent me stir crazy!

Pack snacks and a lunch if needed and put in the buggy. I’d pack swim stuff under the buggy. Travel potty was rarely used so kept that in the car eventually.

My suggestions…

Get out first thing when your energy levels haven’t been drained! you don’t have to stay out for long

pack bag night before

snacks can just be pouches / croissant /banana etc not something you need to make in the morning

get a 10 hour sun cream so you don’t need to have that weighing your bag down at least

use pull ups to make life easier out and about

do you have a garden for DC to get some fresh air so you don’t have to go out everyday?

even a walk up and down your streets can be a great adventure for little ones, looking at flowers, cars, door numbers etc

its HARD I know , I’m right there with you and keep telling myself it will get easier. X

Would she maybe ride on a buggy board and then you could still take the pram for the potty, jackets and bag. I never mastered the art of travelling lightly with a toddler.

I won’t carry my toddler round unless she’s fallen over etc my back cannot handle it she’s a 99th centile height and weight. She can walk or if she’s tired go in pushchair. She had a buggyrefusal stage too but I stayed firm if she wanted out the buggy and the refused to walk or kept running off/not listening back in the pram. Sure she showed off a lot the first couple days but not she says “mumma I’m tired” and climbs in the buggy!

Can’t you just put her in the pram? You are the adult…. My toddler often refuses I just stick her in it - she screams and then gets over it

Take a fold up stroller and a small bag packed with clothing change, snacks, drink, baby wipes and basic first aid like savlon and plasters, in case of a tumble. Let her hold onto the side of the stroller as you push it, and get in it when she gets tired. I don;t remember every taking a potty out with me, just giving DC frequent loo breaks wherever we were. maybe take a small plastic seat that rests on top of a toilet seat to make it toddler sized.

I was the opposite of you. Obsessively out of the house when they were small. hated being cooped up in doors. The exact opposite now they are grown. Total hermit, TV couch potato.

You don’t need to do full days out or stay in house. When they’re little you can go to the local library, cafe, park, in autumn collect leaves, just scoot around the corner, go and buy something from a shop. Little things take them ages at that age.

You need to be strict with her - she’s either in the buggy or she’s walking (or would she like a scooter?) If she refuses you just don’t move until she picks one, picking up isn’t an option. My DS is 2yr 10months and just did a 5km walk (with playground in the middle) because we’ve built it up over time and I’m 8months pregnant and carrying him isn’t an option. It can be miserable while they’re learning but it is worth it - lots of “let’s get to that lamppost, what’s around the corner” etc. We’ve just bought a buggy board for when baby arrives and needs the pram, could you look at one to out on the pram as an option she might prefer over being strapped in? Then the backpack and potty can go in the pram.

You can’t. They can be completely hideous and my youngest was. Wouldn’t go in a pram, I wanted left he went right, didn’t sleep, wouldn’t let me put his shoes on etc etc. It does pass. He’s 9 now and only the other day I was saying why did I get so annoyed when he pulled all the saucepans out of the cupboards or the bread out of the bread drawer? Looking back he was super cute (still is) and my want to do the next chore stopped me seeing him in the minute. Easy said I know but you will look back and wish for these days again I promise you. They grow so bloody quickly.