DD said something weird and i’m not sure how to feel about it

[uk1990]

i have alternate weekends and half of holidays with DD and she lives with dad full time.

DD and i are fine for the most part, she doesn't respect me at times and i have no authority but i try my best. This weekend she said ‘mama, i hope you hate your name’ out of the blue, and then i was confused, stayed quiet and she started laughing and said it was a joke.

Am i missing something????

its wasn’t funny and i wasn’t laughing.

Is your name something that children her age would mock or use in a derogatory way like Karen?

How old is DD?

Sounds like something a 6 year old would say to wind someone up. Maybe someone said it in school

No, its arabic and no nickname and you cant really make fun of it because theres not much to it or relate to anything

She’s almost 9 so has more understanding and we have often spoken about bullying/name calling etc

How old is she?

Didn't you ask her what she meant?

How did it come to be that she lives with her dad full time and doesn’t respect you? At 8 years old she should have no choice but to respect you it should be a matter of discipline really

8

I did, but she just kept laughing and said it was a joke and i told her that i was confused and it didnt make sense and she changed the subject

Did she mean your surname if it’s the same as her dad?

8 year olds do strange shit sometimes.

leave it. Kids say dumb shit all the time.

I also have an 8yo and sometimes there's no rhyme nor reason to what she says.

The level of analysing you're doing over a mildly weird comment is a lot.

Why aren’t you living with your 8yo daughter?
There must be a backstory which may explain her behaviour. It is odd behaviour

We separated when she was 8 months old. i didn't get anything in the divorce and i was unemployed at the time of the split, 0 support from family. My career started 6 months after the split and i had to move around a lot for work ( so i was working my butt off), ex lived with his mum and dad and he started working from home and put her in a reception 5 mins from him so ended up getting full time 2 years after the split.

The OP states she's with dad full time and mum part time? Not sure why a backstory is necessary

I think its because i had a heated phone call from the ex a week ago blaming his hospital stay on me ( it was a year ago) and the fact that I've put pressure on his relationship (his partner has recently moved back to her home country with their DS) i dont know his partner and we have never spoken and i have very limited contact with ex in general
i guess i’m paranoid that this might have something to do with it?

Maybe she doesn't like your name? Someone said at school it wasn't a nice name? It's the same name as someone she doesn't like?

You should just ask her what she means? That there's not much point in hating ones name because it's yours and unique and your parents chose it because they liked it.

Do you want a closer relationship with her? Is there a reason why you couldn't have her overnight sometimes?

Maybe her dad has a horrible name for you?
sorry, it’s not a nice thought. But that’s my guess.

All sounds very odd tbh.

i think my fear is that she’s heard someone at dad’s end says ‘i hate that woman’s name’ or something along these lines, because i just dont know why she would say such an odd thing

I wouldn't think too deeply about it. It probably doesn't make sense because she is a child and they make misjudgements about what is funny/hurtful/etc.

I assume her intent was to be mildly insulting - I would simply address that and not look for any deeper meaning.

Do you have your exes surname?

Nope

Did she mean your actual name or being called ‘mama’ by her?