If you have a child aged around 7 what’s your current struggle / concern?

[AmIBeingWeird]

They say it gets easier as they get older but in some ways I’m finding it tougher.

I need some solidarity!

So if you have a child aged around 7/8, what’s your current problem/ worry?

I’ll start

• suddenly doesn’t like school
• very clingy to me
• friendship issues / social awareness is really kicking in, lots of tears over not being invited to parties / play dates

(Just to say, yes we are monitoring for ND / SEN but this thread isn’t about whether my child has SEN or not, thanks)

Friendship issues are the main one, especially 'friends' who are sometimes nice and sometimes not

If your dc has just gone up to juniors, that can be a big change for them at school in terms of expectations and work I think.

The boundless amount of energy. Constant unreasonable demands and pushing boundaries. Like a wayward spaniel. School friendships also tricky. 2 year old much easier, but I think that's a difference in character. I do love her btw. She's ace, but utterly exhausting.

The whiny, whinging, moaning. We have many discussions about it not being appropriate/being unnecessary

Anxiety about making mistakes in school is a big one for us

Endless energy

Friendships again here, mainly developing them beyond structured settings. Silliness and lack of focus in lessons. Specific academic issues with maths. Reluctance to do homework and music practice. Lots of tiredness this term, as is expected when moving up to Yr 3.
Lots of ND in the family, so it's very likely to play a part, but not looking into any diagnosis.

My son is 5. About 6 months ago he developed a phobia of vomiting. He calls it a “bad cough”. I now live in fear everyday that he goes to school I will get a phone call to go get him as he’s vomited everywhere. When I pick him up he’s usually crying hysterically (I think having a panic attack) and he will refuse to eat for days in fear it will happen again.

Yes definitely friendships - ds is a very forgiving boy and we are working on boundaries, and not having to accept people as friends if they have treated him badly.

Aww that's awful pool lad! I've had this phobia since about the same age and it's horiffic, but I only developed panick attacks in my late teens, I wouldn't wish that on anyone nevermind a small child.

With ds7 it's also friendship issues! Also he's a bit behind in reading and writing but getting him to practice is like pulling teeth 🙄

DD is nearly 7 and won’t let me help her with anything at all. She gets extremely frustrated if she can’t do something and tries over and over, refusing to be helped. This can make us late for things. Sometimes her hair looks like a bush or her top is on backwards. This is my normal so I got a bit of a shock when DD’s friend slept over and asked me to style her hair neatly, brush her teeth for her and do lots of other things I’m not allowed to do!

Ds7 struggles physically. He finds getting changed for PE, actually doing PE, a lot of physical activity etc very tiring. Sports days are really tough for him. I don’t think much of it until I see him playing with his friends and ds7 just can’t keep up. He’s small for his age too though.

He loves the Xbox too much (I do limit it).

However, these worries are nothing in comparison to other stuff going on in life. I’m very lucky, ds7 has always been a fairly easy child.

Other than that it’s just fitting everything in. Homework etc.

Oh the whinging and the moaning. Endlessly when something doesn't go his way. The stomping too. This morning he couldn't find his reading record and it was literally the worst thing ever. Much stomping and groaning. I found it. In his school bag. Where he looked.

Other than that mostly it's friendship issues and constant demands to play on his Nintendo DS which is very limited and linked to good behaviour only.

Definitely friendships, and not playing with people who aren't very nice to you even if they're funny.

Also behaviour at school, not chatting and distracting others and sitting still on the carpet.

I have to say though, I find this age much, much easier and more fun than baby/toddler. I like being able to talk about things, have inside jokes, and see their brains working and understanding more about the world. I think different people prefer different ages.

Losing her blazer. Struggling a bit with English and Maths.

Oh OP and others this all resonates with me.

DD is suddenly more anxious and self conscious. Seems to have gone from quite a happy go lucky child to a more awareness and cares what others think of her. She’s desperate for a best friend and seems to have pinned all her happiness on to one. She moved schools in September which I acknowledge is not easy.

can I also add… is a nightmare at bedtime suddenly too!! Always seem to have some tears over something after being quite happy up until this point. I think it’s when all the above stuff tumbles out.. sigh

I’ve been where you are. Fear of vomiting is tough. DS was exactly the same at 5. I talked to him a lot about how there are things you can do to help like washing hands properly but you can’t take the risk away completely. He was once almost sick from eating too many sweets and getting on a bouncy castle, he refused to eat sweets again. (This was a positive for me 🤣)

In response to the OP, DS is 7 now and has just moved to junior school. Definitely started pushing boundaries and answering back. Questioning why he has to do what he’s asked to do. He’s so energetic as well that it’s like arguing with a springer spaniel. I have found letting him cool off after he’s been naughty and waiting for him to come to me to talk about it works way better than us both getting wound up at the time. We have resolved a lot this way recently and he’s more like his old self again.

My 7 year old DS is so defiant a strong willed, sometimes just plain right stubborn. He is full of energy and is a bit of a hot head. He is also very very sensitive and low in confidence I think. I came here today looking for resources I could read up on building confidence and resilience. I feel like I should understand him more.

My eldest son will be 7 in two weeks' time.
Our biggest 'problem' is probably peer pressure. He naturally hears about things that his friends are allowed to do that he is not (mainly sleepovers and playing video games). Obviously we have to explain why he is not allowed to do those things (YET in the case of sleepovers and 'only at friends' houses' in the case of video games) and that is not always easy for him to hear.
He also has a much younger brother who is 2.5 and it is not always easy for them to get along (even though they love each other very much) as their needs are so different. Sometimes even when they are technically playing nicely (e.g. play wrestling) we still have to intervene because the nearly 7yo is just so much bigger/stronger and doesn't always realise when a situation is occurring when his brother could get hurt accidentally. We obviously try to diffuse the situation peacefully but he (perhaps inevitably?) sometimes feels like he is being blamed.
Finally our only other problem with him is food...he is a very fussy eater. Everything has to be plain. No sauces of any kind and nothing mixed. We have consulted numerous dietitians, paediatricians etc and they are all happy with him because he is growing and ultimately has a balanced diet on paper (eats red meat, fish fingers, cheese, fruit, raw veggies, occasionally cooked veggies like peas and sweetcorn, and of course, like any child, chips...!). So we are learning to let this one go and not treat it as a problem because we don't want him to develop a complex around food and it's hoped/expected that he will outgrow this eventually (though he also has other sensory issues, mainly around buttons and woollen fabrics, so who knows?!).

On the whole though he is a lovely boy and we are so proud of him. He loves maths, Lego and puzzles. He also adores being read to (though he finds reading a bit tricky himself) and loves going to the local science museum and finding out fun facts. He's beginning to understand my (terrible) jokes and make up his own. He enjoys colouring and origami and is never afraid to tackle a big challenge. He's resilient and kind. Is a night owl but ultimately sleeps like the dead and potty trained well before he was 3. There is so much to love about our little people and we have to focus on those aspects as much, if not more than, the bits that challenge us.

Whining and moaning!!

Dd is 7 and touch wood is doing well with friendships. Not completely without a few tiny things but she has strong friendships which makes school fun. Learning is going well.

Her biggest thing rn is would say is wanting new stuff, which can’t be the case every time and getting cross at home about a small thing.

DD almost 8 and friendship issues coming up.
She is very anxious about making a mistake at school too.
At home its bed time that's an issue.

Yes, definitely friendship issues! At that age friendships are becoming increasingly important to them but they don’t have the social skills or life experience to always manage them well. It’s hard to know when to intervene and when not to.
Also an increasing need for independence. At that age mine was starting to play outside unsupervised with friends, just at very nearby play areas or in the cul de sac. She was also starting to walk to school with friends. We live in a very quiet area so we deemed this safe for her, but it still feels scary letting them take those first steps to not needing you around all the time.

Thanks all, I relate to so many of these things it’s good to know I’m not alone.

DD is 7 and just started year 3 (although at same school as infants) but she’s still finding the transition tough.

She’s behind academically (reading & writing & maths) but she’s hugely intelligent in terms of ideas / creativity etc. She’s a strong sports player but her inability to listen to instructions / focus holds her back at school PE. She’s fabulous in her private horse riding lessons though!

Re friends I’m not really sure who her friends are - she refers to all the kids as her “friends” but rarely gets invited to play dates / parties, rarely even return invites when we host.
She seems to make friends with randoms quickly and easily (eg on holiday or in the park) yet she doesn’t seem to have any solid friendships at school.

We’ve also been through the whole not needing to be friends with unkind kids thing (but still needing to be kind & respectful to them.)

I’ve said no to sleepovers at age 7 which she’s annoyed about. Maybe I would feel differently if she had a close friend & I knew the family well. But that’s not the case.

She’s high energy and talks non-stop all day. Lacks independence to play by herself so I am exhausted. But she’s brilliant & can do things other kids her age can’t / wouldn’t eg long bike rides/hikes.

We also get the moaning / inflexibility about when she doesn’t want to do something. I also fear some of the social issues are because she gets upset when other kids don’t want to do what she wants them to!

His cohort are a bit iffy at school - lots of naughty boys, to put it plainly! He’s a people pleaser who is drawn to the big characters.

Doesn’t get enough attention from us - he’s the middle child of 2 working parents, in between 2 needy siblings. He’s the most special, sweetest, most chilled soul ever so it would be easy to overlook him. We don’t let it happen but he could always do with more from us, but doesn’t demand it like the others.

Hes an absolute legend and is thriving in all areas on paper, I just wish he had a couple more really quality bosom buddies, and I could spend more time with him. Can’t get enough of him!

Friendships/growing up too fast. Dd is in a composite class and because she's ahead academically, she's spending a lot of school time in a clique of older girls. This is coming at the expense of her friendships with her peers, who these girls make fun of various reasons to try and stop dd playing with them. The older girls are a three and I think they find life easier as a four, less arguments/conflicts but the way they have been handling hasn't been great.

DS finds losing games difficult but he's also quite boastful when he wins which is annoying.

The moaning and whinging is wearing.

The thing that is worrying me the most is that he keeps talking about wanting a six pack (because his "girlfriend" said she will only be willing to marry someone with a six pack) so I'm between wanting to not pay too much attention to this and making it clear that his focus should be on health and enjoyment rather than how he looks. I also don't want to pay too much attention to him saying he has a girlfriend but they've already decided to get married when they're older so we'll see. His class are all obsessed with coupling up and it annoys me that it's probably being encouraged by some parents who think it's cute.