If you have a child aged around 7 what’s your current struggle / concern?

[AmIBeingWeird]

They say it gets easier as they get older but in some ways I’m finding it tougher.

I need some solidarity!

So if you have a child aged around 7/8, what’s your current problem/ worry?

I’ll start

• suddenly doesn’t like school
• very clingy to me
• friendship issues / social awareness is really kicking in, lots of tears over not being invited to parties / play dates

(Just to say, yes we are monitoring for ND / SEN but this thread isn’t about whether my child has SEN or not, thanks)

@Shayisgreat are they year 3? That’s crazy. No “couples” at DD’s school!

Everything already mentioned 😅 the whining and answering back especially. But I figure this is all normal?! Friendship issues as well but she can be really bossy which I don't think helps- trying to teach her to go with the flow a bit more.

In addition to the usuals, the hardest thing I'm currently navigating with DD8 is anxiety/fear/awareness of death. I gather it's a normal phase, I remember going through it myself, but wow it's hard! She's heartbroken every time she talks about it and it seems to be mainly worrying about me dying.

Also starting with self-consciousness and saying negative things about her appearance which is hard to hear.

Severe ADHD causing massive issues at school with distraction, difficulties with organisation, disruptive behaviour - he's totally resistant to everything and his teacher seems particularly badly matched because her communication style is not especially clear and she seems quite emotion driven so I will get gushing sympathetic reports one day and then frustrated ranting on other days and I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

We are abroad so he is only in class 1, and it's his first experience of school ever, so far we haven't gone 3 days without some kind of negative communication from school to home D: Any time I brought up this behaviour/my concerns before school, I just kept getting told "Oh wait and see how he gets on at school, we'll see you in December" but now that we are in school and it's immediately obvious that there are problems everything seems to have a wait attached to it and no suggestion of what to do in the meantime. December feels very far away!

He has however since the start of school declared himself "in love" with first a boy, who he kissed, and now a girl, who he has also kissed. Boy totally forgotten (I think this is all nonsense so we are neither encouraging or discouraging!)

Reassuring to hear other parents have similar problems with this age group! My just turned eight year old is a darling but OMG, having to be told 100 times to put her shoes on/coat on/get water bottle in her bag in the morning eyc.

the biggest struggle we have is food. DD is just constantly ravenous. Or greedy/bored. She’s v too percentile for weight and has little breast buds and is tall for her age. She’s aware of her chest and height even though we assure her she’s wonderful. She constantly asks for more food, more snacks. It’s v wearing. Our older child is lean as anything and has a small appetite (like me as a child) and we’re trying to get him to eat more, while trying to manage DD’s expectations around food. She has a healthy diet by the way and we try to offer healthy snacks. But eg she will come to me one hour after a good lunch badgering me for food because she’s hungry. Drives us insane!

Constant emotional/teary episodes, often whiny and talking like a baby again

'I have no friends' (not actually true)

In trouble at school as she doesn't get on with the teacher so isn't really trying to do the work

Wants lots of attention and help with stuff rather than doing it independently

Other than that she's a joy!

Feeling quite encouraged by a lot of these posts as I’ve been worrying about DD recently (about to turn 7 so just started y2).

She’s VERY emotional and sensitive, cries at the drop of a hat, turns on her heel and runs out of the room if she gets upset/doesnt get her way/someone says something she doesn’t like. Extremely accident prone, daydreams, forgets things all the time - all very very much like me, and I’m currently considering going for an ADHD assessment at the ripe age of 40 😆.

We also have social problems with friends - she has a tight knit group of girls who are her ‘besties’ but they seem to take it in turns to leave one of the others out. She’s very sensitive to perceived slights and not being invited to things - we’re having a lot of ‘that’s not fair, xxx and xxx are having a sleepover’ etc.

She is also incredibly bright, creative, emotionally insightful and articulate, loving (I get to hear ‘I love you mummy’ ten times a day) and she talks to me about all her thoughts and feelings so I always know what’s worrying her.

Yes this, dd is a really lovely child but sometimes she just goes into moany mode and it seems to come from nowhere!

we’re having a lot of ‘that’s not fair, xxx and xxx are having a sleepover’ etc

I have this on repeat @MindatWork

He's a September baby so year 2.

I think it started in reception and just didn't lose its grip on the class. I was always a bit wary and never encouraged it but despite coupling up, the boys and girls generally played very separately.

@Shayisgreat My almost-7 year old keeps taking about having a six pack too, it's very odd! No idea where it's come from, it must be from older children as he's not watched anything to do with them. Definitely not from us, I was last in a gym before I found out I was pregnant with him 😂

No 'couples' in their class though, thankfully. The parents must be morons to encourage that.

The whining and talking back. He's not just talking back to us either, he's talking back to teachers at school which isn't good.
The constant asking for screen time, and anger when I say no, and saying how all his friends are allowed to play games that he's not allowed to.

He is so forgetful it worries me, especially as I'm not home in the morning to make sure he takes everything he needs to school, instead his dad is there and he is also incredibly forgetful.

Last year he said he had two girlfriends, but he couldn't remember the name of the second one. I just 'that's nice dear'd him and said no more and it all died down.

I think it might be from Kpop Demon Hunters as his "girlfriend" apparently talks about it all the time.

Oooh yes, they do show their abs don't they. It's such a tiny part of the story though! He has seen it but mostly zones out and only watches the songs and the fighting.

I mostly find my 7yo pretty easy - this has been true most of her life and tbh one of my worries about her is that I just don't pay her enough attention because of it - single parent, ft job, sometimes needier older sibling, other louder demands... I think also though she and I benefit from her being a (significantly younger) second child - things like whining and backchat feel much easier to deal with and so I kind of forget about them, other than in the moment.

The main thing is def friendships. She has one particular friend who is dramatically off and on, often violent, and DD is sometimes a bit too kind of a friend for her own good. I think she slips under the radar a bit at school for similar reasons. Otoh she's getting on with it, we just have endless circular conversations which I'm hoping are sinking in somewhere even if she's not yet choosing different friends, and is capable of giving the other child a good shove back when needed, so I'm not hugely stressed, I just wish it was different for her!

DC1 was energetic and intense at this age but has mellowed into such a lovely teen - he's still the same as he was, really, busy and quirky and unfussed about going with the crowd, it's just that those things were challenging in a younger child and far less so an independent teen!

My 7yo wants to do everything himself - for the most part extremely competent but has no fear/sense of his own limitations so I’m constantly having to stop him eg trying to cut some cheese with a large chopping knife, or climbing up on furniture to get heavy things down from high shelves. He wants to be in control all the time so we are constantly butting heads as I try to rein him in for his own safety. He also has an extensive repertoire of annoying voices that drive me mad, and he doesn’t really talk about things that bother him, so it’s hard to get through to him sometimes.

Thankfully no friendship issues, loves school, great with eating and sleeping. I’m very conscious that he’s growing up so fast and treasuring that he still adores me.

Remember that moaning and whining is about power. People who communicate in that way do so because they don’t have the power to meet their own needs by themselves. That’s why children often communicate like this. Working out how to help them feel empowered within reasonable limits should help to wean them off that way of asking for things.

Friendship issues too like lots of PP have said. Being part of a 3 and sometimes one of the others tries to push DD out.

Cannot tell the time on an analogue clock and getting upset about being taken aside in maths lessons for extra help. All other learning fine.

Cannot hurry up or grasp the concept of doing anything against the clock. E.g. Get your shoes on quickly- we need to be out of the door in 2mins- No- can only do the 10 minute version with chats, dances, side diversions in between getting shoes on slowly. Ends up being shouted at to hurry up : (

Increasingly self conscious of things like whether the bow at the top of her vest is showing Apparently this would mean nobody would play with her. Bless her.

Overall, a completely wonderful child.

I also have a dd who is 7 and starting year 3. Suddenly not enjoying school, it's a big step up, they're all sat a lot at the same desk and the work is quite dull compared to last year. My dd has a very tight group of friends and a best friend, no friendship issues at all and very settled in that sense.
Very much aware of how she looks, wants make up and her ears pierced for Christmas (not happening), aware of bfs/gfs and "crushes" which I find mad. Changes outfits a lot at home. Her emotional resilience is low at the moment, easily frustrated, easily annoyed. It feels the start of tween dom to me, we are probably one step away from "you don't understand!". Equally, she's a bright little girl, and can be very thoughtful and independent (she decided on dessert last night, got it out and served everyone else first, then tidied it all away). She also still plays with dolls and toys and things, it feels a very in between kind of stage, as we start to say goodbye to some things and hello to others but theres some transition time.

I have boy/girl twins in same class, 7 almost 8. Definitely for my girl it has been friendship concerns - worries about being left out and they all seem to be quite sassy already.
For my

After parents evening was told they play on their own in the playground, have low moods in the classroom and yesterday had a panic attack 😵😵😵

Ooof I really needed to read this. Some days I think I’m the only one going through all these things. My DS turned 7 the end of August so school has always been a bit of a challenge but since starting year 3 he has had major struggles with bedtime. On a good day he will go to bed around 8:30/9 and only stay there with me or his dad in the room till he falls asleep. Bad day he will flat out refuse getting in bed and will have a total meltdown verging on a panic attack about getting in bed. I can honestly say that since he was around a year old I don’t think there has ever been an issue with bedtime/getting up in the night so this has been incredibly challenging for me. The constant tiredness is not helping with his behaviour too!

@Plinketyplonks yes food is also an issue here, DD has always been high percentile height and weight but as they get older it seems to change from "ah yes following their line nicely" to "too tall/heavy, flag obesity"

@YourPinkLeader this is exactly how the fear/worry about dying started to manifest here.. absolutely fine during the day then hysterical as soon as bedtime comes round. Is he able to tell you what's bothering him? It took DD a while to articulate it and she didn't want to tell me at first but is so much better now it's out in the open. Sending sympathy, sleep issues after years of being fine hit hard!