To think this is not good enough [Content warning: thread concerns CSA]

[dray9925]

A week and a half ago my child disclosed ongoing sexual abuse committed by another child under the age of criminal responsibility (there are both 8) they attend the same school. The abuse has been going on for months and took place at the other child's house whilst I was working.
I was initially assured from the school that they were committed to keeping the children safe and my child class teacher said they would be kept apart. Twice since this conversation this child has been able to access mine. No abuse has taken place in school and this child seems to be playing which suggests to me they have not been explicitly told to leave my child alone. When I complained the school have said they have many pupils and they can not supervise them all at all times.
To me this is just unacceptable
What would you do (obviously moving schools is on the table I just don't think it's fair my child has to leave when they have done nothing wrong)
Thanks

Call the police and let them deal with the parents

This has been reported and dealt with by the police and children's services both children are under the age of criminal responsibility and nothing will be done and that's a whole other devastating issue within it's self

The abuse or the incident in school
I don't feel comfortable describing the abuse online but it is graphic and nothing that an 8 year old should know about.
In school this child has tried to talk to mine and has chased mine even though they have said to stay away.

If the police and social services are already aware and the school have proven they are unable to protect your child then I would 100% remove them from the school if your child is upset by being around the other child or they feel unsafe.
But I am horrified, surely any sexual activity by an 8yo is a huge flag for them suffering abuse in their own lives, are SS not investigating this?

It has been reported and concluded that my child is a victim and now away from her not at risk of harm.
The other child admitted to some of the abuse and now I'm not allowed to know any more information regarding what is happening to the other child

You want someone to specifically describe acts of sexual abuse on a chat forum?

op, don’t do that. I agree school should do more and I’d be making a fuss (and I hate confrontation). You’re your dc advocate so it’s okay if school don’t like you, you’re not there to be friends. You can be professional (think of it as a workplace) but firm.

I have had no contact from SS which I am chasing up I do not know what is happening with this child as we are not allowed to speak to the family at this time

It is very likely the other child has been abused I would think, what are social services saying?

How distressing. I'm so sorry, and no, it's not right that the school are being so shit, but I would prioritise my child over my sense of justice here and remove then from the situation.

I find your request to know the specifics in detail rather disturbing.

How would OP know? She isn't going to be told. Are you really a safeguarding lead? :/

My ARSE are you.

OP- please do not describe the abuse.

I would be furious that this child is still able to be anywhere near yours. Something similar happened somewhere I used to work, and the kids were separated as much as possible. That meant they were moved to separate classes, they weren’t allowed to play in the same playground etc. it was taken very seriously indeed. Why should your child have to be uprooted, when they are the victim?!

im so sorry this has happened 💐

I have 0 intention of describing the abuse the suggestion is unsettling and the details are not necessary

So do I. There's no need for details at all.

OK - so your child was online for some if this?

Are you accessing early help support?

In school, what happened? Because it might be a case of you expecting something that isnt likely to happen. Impossible for me, as a DSL, to advise further on that unless you'll give an indication of what happened. You are only considering a single viewpoint, school will be considering many - including the possibility of false or malicious reporting. They also don't take sides.

No reason not to put a risk assessment in place. But that risk assessment, for children aged 8, will unlikely see them never crossing paths. Especially so if police and children's services do not view this as harmful.

@LittleHangleton
WTF????

I beg your actual pardon?

The other child has admitted it. They are also a victim in their own right. Are you saying it could have all been made up? You’re not making a whole load of sense here.

Also, “early help support”?

load of bollocks.

@LittleHangleton
That’s the second time you have asked the op to describe the abuse.
What the fuck is wrong with you ???

Not online.
Not false reporting my child has been spoken too a strategy meeting has taken place with police SS ect and other child admitted some of it
I dont want to go into further details
School in my opinion should be protecting both children however they should not have contact my child wants nothing to do with the other and this child continues to seek mine out and school are saying there is nothing they can do.
Police and SS do see this as harmful but I do not have details of what is happening with other child as I am not allowed

Agreed.

Realistically, it’s not possible to keep primary children apart permanently when they are in the same school. The other child is likely also a victim and their wellbeing will be being considered alongside your child’s. I think it’s highly unlikely that school will take the sort of measures that would prevent any contact whatsoever with your child, or indeed with others (eg excluding them, segregating them at lunch and playtimes etc).

If you’re not satisfied that your child is safe, I think moving school is the only real answer here.

I would move my dc. We had something similar happen and it tainted school years a bit for us. You can't keep asking people to keep them apart and explain it over and over. Social services will look into it I think. They will want to establish why the dc is displaying inappropriate sexualised behaviour. Sorry this happened to your dc.

There is.

Police and social care are not open, so this is not a case of sig harm. So what's happening here is that this parent's perception of the significance of the incident is greater than thresholds the main safeguarding services use.

Harmful sexual behaviour in children should not be taboo. It is necessary and good practice to discuss it openly.

You say the police and social services say this isn't harmful?? I presume you're referring to the contact the children have at school rather than the 'abuse' itself?!

Have you asked your child if they would like to go to a different school?? of course that's a bit rubbish as as they haven't done anything wrong, but they might like the opportunity of fresh start??

Other police and social services finished investigating?

Is your child getting help to deal with what happened?

Personally, I'd be totally led by my child whether they wanted to move schools or not.

I'd also want to understand you in the beginning.