12 year old girl sharing bed 8yr old boy ?

[oceandrivesun]

Parents - advice please - is this ok?

Maybe it is ?!

12 yr old daughter been at her dads, had sleep over with friends
8 yr old boy, 14 yr old ( brother and sister )
My 12 yr old shared a bed with the boy

My daughter said it in conversation
Me and my ex very amicable and has had sleepovers with these friends before even though I don't know them

Texted ex who has blown up saying none of my business as it's his roof
Yes maybe....but would you feel uncomfortable?!

My daughters going through puberty and I just feel it's wrong

( must add my daughter didn't have any bad feeling about it if that makes any difference

Thanks for reading

I wouldn't choose to allow it and I don't think it's really acceptable.

Imo it is very much your business.. And a court would be interested also.. Even if that 8yo boy was her db... Very out of order..

Yeah I think so too.....it's so hard when things happen like this as I don't wanna come across controlling but I felt quite strongly about it

Thank you

Nice to get another person's perspective on this

I think in that scenario the two girls should share.

So long as both kids are comfortable and it’s a double bed, I see no issue with 8yo boy and 12yo girl.

I think if DD is fine with it then it's ok.

It's an odd choice though. Are the 8yo and 14yo siblings? I'd have thought having the two girls share or the siblings share would have been a more obvious choice?

But I don't think it's likely that your DD was at risk from the 8yr old and I wouldn't have thought your DD a risk to him? So I'm not sure what the big problem is?

My daughter would have been very uncomfortable sharing with a boy at this age. And it is your business, don’t let your Ex fob you off.

Not ok

parents of 8yo boy may not like this
would you think differently if the 12yo was a boy and 8yo a girl?

Yes, the other way round would be unacceptable.

I think the same caution should be applied in OPs scenario.

Fair enough. I disagree.

Was any reason given as to why the girls didn't share, or where the girl slept?

Wouldn't bother me as long as the other parents were ok with it.

Yes so apparently dad left them with the girls sharing and the boy on the floor
They swapped as the girl sleeps early and the boy stays up later and they were ' chatting past midnight '
Dad said not his fault they swapped 🙄

It’s not his fault then. Unclench.

So dad didn't even know? Just make sure your daughter understands why not to in future, you can chat across the floor.

If the children decide it between themselves, without EX even knowing I don't think you can blame him. The kids where clearly comfortable with the arrangment, and weren't been forced or pressed to share.

The issue is dad didn't think it was an issue then sharing

Quite concerned about the people who are saying they wouldn't worry

Shocking

What exactly is it you're worried about?

That your daughter would abuse the 8 year old boy?

Or that the 8 year old boy would abuse your daughter?

Or something else?

I can't see what the major concern is, but then I obviously don't know the children involved. Is your daughter a risk to this child?

Unusual perhaps (how many 12yr old girls chat with 8 year old boys?) but I wouldn’t be concerned. They chose to sleep in the same bed because they were chatting. Presumably they were wearing pyjamas? Would you have a problem with an 8 and 12 year old sharing a sofa? What are you worried about?

What are you worried about? They are just talking and sleeping in the same bed.

That's an odd mix of ages for friends. Are they step siblings?

this

Why?