Leaving an 11 year old home alone

[PumpkinsandKittens]

Would you leave an 11 year old home for an hour? Just speaking to someone and they said they “wouldn’t dream of it” I thought that was about the right age to leave a child for an hour or so?

Yes. My ds1 is home by himself once a week while I take his brother to a club. He knows the agreed boundaries and what to do in an emergency. He has his phone with him. I pick him up and take him to another club before picking up ds2 from his club.

a family members stepdaughter is the same age and she walks home from school, let's herself in to their house and is alone for about 90 minutes every weekday ti l they are home from work. She's reliable and capable and knows her boundaries too.

Given 11y olds could well be at high school and there’s generally no wrap around or holiday care for that age group surely many 11y olds whose parents work are alone after school / in holidays?

That parent who “wouldn’t dream of it” assuming no SEN or other legitimate reasons, ISNT who you listen t
they’re not helping their kid become a functioning adult.

thays out job, raising adults! Teaching them how to manage/cope/negotiate life.

99% of kids welcome the independence!

Yes I would.

Agreed. Ds1 will have a half hour wait and an hour's bus journey every afternoon from september. If he doesn't learn how to navigate this himself now, then when? It does them good to be on their own a little at this age.

Yes I'd be quite happy leaving a sensible 11 year old at home for an hour.

Yes I would/ I did. Just say dont answer the door and phone you if there’s a problem.

Yes if you're clear about when you'll be back, and they know what to do or not to do (e.g. don't answer the door to strangers) and how to get hold of you in an emergency.

Yes, 11 is the age I decided mine would be ok for an hour or so and they've all been fine with it. Youngest DD turned 11 this year and I've left her a couple of times while I went for a doctors appointment and popped to the supermarket. She has a phone and knows what to do in an emergency.

Yes- my son has been coming home and letting himself in since September when he started high school.

It's usually only an hour but I sometimes leave him for a little longer at other times if he doesn't want to accompany me to wherever I'm going.

He has his phone and can call either me or husband, I can see his journey home on my tracker. A few of the neighbours are aware and happy for him to go round in an emergency.

It's been fine, he just chills out with his x box after school. And he's pretty useful for turning on the oven ready for dinner too!

Yes, I leave my 10 year old whilst I walk the dog or take her brother to an activity. I wouldn't go far but she's very sensible and happy to be left. Lots of children is her class are left on a similar basis.

When she starts high school she will need to let herself in when I'm at work. There is no wraparound etc.

I never did. Not for any reason other than someone was always at home so the situation never raised itself.

Not in a million years!

Yes I have done so with dc1 on school hols etc / if I have an appt. She was very sensible at 11.

DS was left for two hours after school four days a week, and whole days in the holidays at that age. Single parent. I first left him for an hour at 8.

Yeah 10 year DSS is allowed to stay home during the day for around those timeframes. He is a smart kid, knows the neighbours and always has a phone to ring one of us if needed
At 11 surely they will be getting themselves to school if already in secondary so would expect a degree of being able to care for themselves

Depends on the child. At 11, my DS was fine to walk home from high school, let himself in and be home alone for an hour or 2 until I got home from work.

His cousin would not be able to do this - they get scared if they're in the house alone.

My 11 year old stays home alone for up to 2 hours. He's very sensible and is happy to do so. He also goes to the park for a few hours in the daytime on a weekend, as do most of his year group at school. He has his phone and follows the rules so I'm happy to allow him some independence.

Also as a single parent it's a decision I had to make because there's no one there to take up the slack. Under 11 I just take them along to the appointment or whatever, but by they're 11 mine have all been sensible enough to be alone for an hour or so.

It’s not about age, rather maturity. If your child is sensible and they will most likely be doing homework/watching tb rather than setting fire to the house, no problem, especially if they have access to a phone and don’t answer the door. Most secondary kids walk home alone anyway!

DS is a sensible just turned 10 year old and I leave him to pop to the shop on the same street, post box etc. I'm building him up to slightly longer times gradually, I'd imagine by 11 he'll be fine for an hour!

Yes we did for an hour or 2 in the day. DS is 13 now and he's just been in town to watch football and they got KFC and came home. They grow up quick

Absolutely fine

my 11 and 12 year old come home from school and sit for an hour until their big brother picks them up from dads, some days my 16 year old is there too. Neighbour is lovely so they can go there if needed. Strict rules about what they can and can’t do and I also go food shopping solo.

I agree with pp that assuming no SEN, parents who'd say NO WAY are not helping their DC learn independence and confidence