Leaving an 11 year old home alone

[PumpkinsandKittens]

Would you leave an 11 year old home for an hour? Just speaking to someone and they said they “wouldn’t dream of it” I thought that was about the right age to leave a child for an hour or so?

Yes, definitely! My son is 11 this year and has stayed home alone for an hour while we go shopping etc.

Yes, we have just started doing this with our 11 year old in preparation for her going to high school in September. She knows how to phone for help, unlock the door in an emergency and knows not to answer the phone .

why not? Just curious.

Um… of course? I was routinely babysitting at that age (in the 2000s, not in the 1970s!!!). I’d look after my siblings, or up to 3 other kids ages 1-9, for MULTIPLE hours, let alone just one hour in my own home.

Yesterday we had a 12-year-old over as a “mother’s helper” for the afternoon, and within an hour I could tell that he was totally competent to take my older two kids to the park for an hour - and so he did, and they all had a great time.

It’s bizarrely infantilizing to think that a tween is incapable of staying home for an hour. My great-grandfather was put on a ship out of Poland alone around that age, and came to be a tailor in Canada, sending money home to support his family. Obviously that’s not a DESIRABLE thing to have to do, but the idea that a neurotypical 10-13YO couldn’t stay home for an hour is just insane.

As it happens my daughter does has asd, which is why I can’t do this, she has to come everywhere with me, I was just saying how difficult it is as I can’t leave her at home at all (single parent) and her behaviour can be really challenging and it means going places is difficult. So I was saying about how it would be nice to just nip to the shops whilst she’s at home like people can with an NT 11 year old that’s when the comment was made that they would never even dream of leaving even an NT 11 year old home alone even for a second not even to go to the corner shop 😳

Yes I have started with ds10 as it has to start somewhere doesn't it?? They are growing up and will be independent soon, they cant have it all at once over night, it has to be gradual.

At 11 they are home for full days in the holidays whilst I’m at work, never mind an hour. They don’t spend the whole time alone, they go out, see friends, have people round etc

I wouldn't but my son has SN. I can't trust him at all, he likes to set fire to things, climb out of windows and hurt himself. My eldest child, I had no qualms leaving her for an hour on occasion. She was sensible and trustworthy so it was a world of difference. If you have a sensible 11 year old who knows what to do in an emergency and knows who to call or go to, then I wouldn't think twice.

I really feel for you as I'm in the exact same situation

Of course. Why not?

Yes from age 10. Normal

Yes I leave my DC11 mainly when running my younger 2 to clubs or nipping out. I leave DC10 as well sometimes.

Yes. I can leave both dds 12 and nearly 11 alone for an hour or so. They’re responsible for their ages. I’d say the younger one is wise beyond her years.

I did without a second thought.

It really depends on the child for me, my first two, I definitely would have, but my youngest one nope, he's a little shit and God knows what he'd get up to

Yes, because they are starting secondary and they need to be able to get some practice at taking responsibility for themselves.

Now they are telling me that children under 12 shouldn’t even walk home from school alone 😅 my kids school allow it from year 5! Some people, I get there are recommendations but they shouldn’t be making out it’s the law

Apparently the nspcc state that a child shouldn’t be left home at all under 12, I thought it was shouldn’t be left for long periods of time; even then it’s a recommendation not to not the law 🤦🏻

Has this person got / had a child of 11? There's a woman at my work who says things like this but her children are 5 and 3 so I just roll my eyes and think 'wait and see what you do when yours are 11'.

The NSPCC guidance is nonsense because it fails to answer the obvious point of how children should get to high school if they should be constantly supervised until the age of 12.

My daughter is 11 and has ASD - but is perfectly able to be left for an hour (but fully accept that every ASD child presents differently).
She walks to school every day with a friend and home from school twice a week (has clubs on the other days).

You are not able to use tax free childcare the September after they turn 11, so that pretty much sums up the states view on the matter.

That's not what the nspcc website says. And it is only guidance.