I wish someone had told me ......

[Willowmum]

I still meet up with my NCT antenatal class and we were talking about this the other day. What's the one piece of advice on caring for your baby you wish you'd been given at your antenatal class?

I wish someone had told me:
1 - RELAX!! It's quite good fun really!
2 - You'll only use that massive, expensive monstrosity of a pram for 12 weeks. As soon as your baby can be propped upright you'll buy a cheap lightweight stroller!

Anyone got any more?

Let him fuss a couple of minutes when he is settling in to sleep. Most babies do, it's normal, and you are not causing lifelong psychological damage!!!

Dont let yourself get constipated after the birth - the consequences can be as HUGE as giving birth all over again!

to sleep straight after birth when babes settle
down for a sleep as this is the longest sleep you will probably get for the next 2 years xx

lol at constipation and yes the pushcahir one is so right I always feel so smug when i see new mums out with really expensive pushchair knowing it probably won't last for very long x.

spot on locket - my baby is a year old and I can't even walk across the room without a wail and the patter of little feet coming after me

But when it's your first baby - you DO buy all sorts of things, and that's only right! It's part of the excitement that comes with a new baby - new, silly baby things! Some do come in handy!

And sometimes you rock your baby because they won't settle and some are easier than others to fall asleep... Sometimes you get your babies to sleep the only way you can because we all need to rest!

And it's easy to forget the difference between a newborn baby that needed the cosseting of a snuggly lie down pram, when you have a sitting 6 month old and it's easier to sling a buggy in the car then.

And moses baskets and carry cots and baby baths are only used for a bit, but at the time they were just the right thing when you needed them close to the bed, or you felt inadequate to bathe your wriggly baby in the big bath!

And you can't take your eyes off your beautiful new born baby when it's been born and you're full of adrenalin still, regardless of how much you should sleep!!!

And you should accept help from everyone gracefully, and not invite too many people over, but you are soooo excited about showing off your newborn, you can be as bad as the visitors for overdoing it.

And you can't relax because you cannot believe that anyone thought you were capable of keeping this scrap of life alive and happy because you feel so clueless!!!

People did tell me all this stuff, but you still have to figure it out all by yourself! THAT'S all part of being a parent!

I do have two... 1. If a private room is available when you have your baby - GET IT! I hated sleeping on a ward in those fragile, difficult first day/nights. A private room made ALL the difference (and if you've spent a fortune on a pram which will be useless in 4 months time, the cost shouldn't be an issue!!!!!!)

2. Sometimes babies cry because they are TIRED - this was my biggest learning curve with DD1 and I had NO idea!

Completely agree about the private room!
I asked on both occasions. They told me they would charge but in fact only did so the second time. As it was the £48 a night (stayed 2 nights) was well worth it.

So nice if you are trying to get breastfeeding going too, as it's so undignified at first!

Also could have private little parties with friends and families, and guzzle Champagne and Stilton (first thing I sent dh out for-was so sick of 9months deprivation!)

Ditto making the most of them being tiny. Go everywhere whilst they're relatively immobile. Once they start to walk it is hard bloody work until they start being a bit more sensible (3-ish)

Oh, and enjoy every minute. Itgoes so fast

agree with the babies cry because they are tired. This is a very improtant thing to learn.

My BIGGEST thing is that nobody told me what a mess bannanas make on clothes- now people really need to know that and it isn't ever passed on

When you have a boy, tuck their willies facing downwards or the wee leaks out the top of the nappy!

Oh and buy a LOT of maternity towels for the first few days.

Yes biketastic!
Forgot that one! (Develops sort of weird thread like bits and is a sod to get out!)

Later on when mobile, I quickly learned that you should never let kids walk around with bottles or beakers as they dribble everywhere.
(After my sister had been to visit, dh would be cursing and cleaning chocolate milk off the ceilings because when her kids' bottles fell, the force generated would make the contents spurt that high.

(Mind you, she is a real slattern and it never bothered her in her house.)

Another vote for 'babies cry when they're tired'...our worst time so far was when ds decided, at about 2 weeks, that he was going to whimper for 5 minutes whenever put down to sleep. Unless of course we fell for it & picked him up, in which case he'd SCREEEEEEAAAAM as he was passed from me (crying myself) to dh (frankly panicked) & back again - until we finally collapsed exhausted & ds er, whimpered for 5 minutes & then went off to sleep...

Oh & not to take hv too seriously!

I wish someone had told me how utterly boring it is being at home with a newborn. I had done so much work in advance because I'd been led to believe I would be busy busy busy without a moment to myself. B*llocks, I have never done such an enforced load of nothing in my life. This time round I am going to build up a huge pile of novels ready for when I bring no.2 home!

@ fisil - that was my experience too...by week 3 I'd cleared out every cupboard in the house, cooked 'properly' every night & embarked on a mad & uncharacteristic exercise programme...dh was coming home saying 'who are you & what have you done with my wife?!'

That sometimes - and more often than you think - you should cuddle your baby for the whole of their nap. Because your 4 week, 2 days and 6 hours old baby will never be that little again so the cup of tea / novel / washing up will still be there years later - but you'll always remember how they felt in your arms that sunny afternoon.

Freddiecat - THAT is a truth if ever I heard one. I want to cry now justing thinking about those times when they would fall asleep on my chest quite happily and how those moments are now long past.

I had forgotten something that I was told which you reminded me of, and which I did uphold. You cannot spoil a baby in the first three months. NO matter what you do, it will be fine. There's plenty of time for sorting it all out - just cuddle them, hold them, keep them close and enjoy it.

We banned the phrase "making a rod for your back" from the house, because I was sick of hearing it. It may be true for the future, but NOT for your new, precious baby!

Lockets, my Aunt sent me that poem when DD1 was born, and boy has it gone quickly (especially now DD2 is here). I wish someone had told me how loud babies are when they break wind, and never to bend down to put your shopping basket on the floor in the supermarket queue, because that's when they are likely to do it!! You try telling everyone that that noise came from a three week old!!

sniff... so lovely. and I have a couple of new mummies to send it to as well... thanks

NCT won't like this but - breastfeeding DOES hurt to begin with even if you DO get baby latched on correctly (why do NCT and all midwives deny this)! I think it would have been nice to know this first time.

Sorry to put in something negative

Oh Christie - noone thought you were being mean!!! Of course you did - and it's very good advice in the long run! You can't keep rocking them forever, or you'll HAVE to keep rocking them forever!

I had to teach my 2 to settle themselves without all that lovely rocking!

And you've got THREE! I think that's amazing! I just don't know how I'd cope with more than my two! xxx

Christie not at all! The number of times I've stood over DD and DS's cots when they are tiny as they scream with tiredness whilst inside I am seething "just go to sleep!!!" because I need to get on with the washing up! But it's only when your 2nd is born that you remember how quickly your first grew up and you try and savour it a bit more.

I should add as a caveat that sometimes babies who are crying in your arms want to be put down in their cots and will sleep peacefully once there!

The poem is lovely and brought tears to my eyes.