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Original poster

Leaving my whole family for a guy in NEW YORK

54 replies

user12345678910 · 22/01/2019 20:23

Long story short, me and my ex the 'Father' of my child broke up when my little one was 3 months old. He is now 2 and we haven't geard frkm his dad since, he saw ds on his first birthday and once more after that. Hes a horrible guy hes even put his hands on me in the past which caused a lot of problems.

I know want to move to NEW YORK!!?! to be with my ex of 5 years. Weve discussed this and sounds like the change in life ive been looking for. But all of my family is in london... i have no one in new york other than him. Hes such a great guy and i do love him a lot.

Cannmy ex stop me frkm taking my son abroad eventhough he doesn't give a fuck about him.

Im very confused... please help..lol

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 22/01/2019 20:24

Does your ex have PR?

How would you get a visa to move to the USA?

RJnomore1 · 22/01/2019 20:26

Why did you split with the ex in New York?

Original poster
user12345678910 · 22/01/2019 20:31

We broke up about 4 years ago

OP posts:

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Original poster
user12345678910 · 22/01/2019 20:33

Id start off with a tourist visa i can stay up to 90 days ... find a job in health care ive got a degree in psychology and Im trying to be a therapist

OP posts:
Original poster
user12345678910 · 22/01/2019 20:35

RJnomore1

Long distance caused some problems

OP posts:
mimibunz · 22/01/2019 20:35

How are you financially? Will you depend on the ex? America won’t let you stay longer than 6 months without a visa. Unless you have your own financial resources I would say it’s a terrible idea.

mimibunz · 22/01/2019 20:36

You can’t get a job on a tourist visa.

SillySallySingsSongs · 22/01/2019 20:37

Absolutely awful idea.

Original poster
user12345678910 · 22/01/2019 20:38

mimibunz

Ive got some savings but not enough without his help

OP posts:
twobetwobetwo · 22/01/2019 20:39

We’re you with ex 5 years and split 4 years ago?

dancemom · 22/01/2019 20:41

You can't go on a tourist visa and find a job

PineapplePower · 22/01/2019 20:43

find a job in health care ive got a degree in psychology and Im trying to be a therapist

You won’t find a job, you don’t have local credentials.

Unless you marry him fairly immediately (with a fiancé visa) it’s going to end in tears. Speaking from (secondhand) experience

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 22/01/2019 20:44

If you’re talking about living in NYC, your savings will last about 40 seconds due to the high cost of living.

Have you thought how you’d pay for health insurance, visa fees etc?

OlennasWimple · 22/01/2019 20:45

You can't "switch" from a tourist visa to a working visa, you have to leave the USA and apply from the UK. You will struggle to even get an interview with an agency without being able to show that you have the right to work. Technically, you could be deemed to be in breach of your stay in the USA as a visitor if you engage in work search related activities like sending off your CV to agencies.

It sounds very unlikely that you would qualify as a highly skilled migrant, so you would need a company to sponsor you. This is exceptionally unlikely, as the company would be able to recruit someone already in the USA

If you are Irish or have certain other backgrounds, you could apply for the green card lottery, but be prepared to wait - my friends waited 7 years before they got accepted; other friends have waited for 10 years without any luck.

So, leaving aside any thoughts of whether the relationship with the ex is good idea or not, it is very unlikely that you would be able to move to the USA on a long term basis.

Bombardier25966 · 22/01/2019 20:51

Where in New York? The state is very different from the city and what you see on TV.

On what basis is your ex there, is he a citizen? I agree with others, you're not going to get a job there, especially when you're not qualified.

WendyCope · 22/01/2019 20:52

This won't happen.

WendyCope · 22/01/2019 20:53

Of course your ex can stop you (bitter experience)

Bombardier25966 · 22/01/2019 20:54

Are you quite young? Were you with your ex when you were a teenager, have you ever lived together?

maxiflump1 · 22/01/2019 20:55

How much time has your DS spent with the guy in New York? It will be very different living as a family full time as opposed to the occasional visit.

If DS' dad has PR and objects to you leaving the country for a period of over 30 days then technically you could be committing offence of child abduction...

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/01/2019 20:55

Really sorry to say but this sounds like madness, you can’t uproot your child to go to nyc on a tourist in the hope of blagging a job and being allowed to stay. In addition I wouldn’t uproot my chils for someone without them making a commitment to me, ie. marriage, otherwise the uncertainty is too great.

CowJumping · 22/01/2019 20:55

find a job in health care ive got a degree in psychology and Im trying to be a therapist

A psychological therapist? gawd help your patients ...

Original poster
user12345678910 · 22/01/2019 20:56

Bombardier25966

Yeah i was with my ex from new york since we were 17, i met him in California. We broke up when i was 22

OP posts:
vilamoura2003 · 22/01/2019 21:00

If your ex has parental responsibility, no, you won't be able to take your little one out of the country without the dad's permission (or the permission from the Court instead).

Original poster
user12345678910 · 22/01/2019 21:00

Thanks for all your replies.... most of you agree with my family. Its just a very complicated situation

And CowJumping... theres no reason to be like that.

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 22/01/2019 21:00

But you were 21 last month?

How old are you now?

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