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Parenting

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Original poster

My son is going to school in nappies!!

40 replies

tulip27 · 25/06/2007 21:54

I give up, my son is 2 years and 10 months. I have been trying ( with no joy) to potty train him for nearly a whole year and now, while he is pooing his pants and weeing all over the carpet, his 18 month old sister is using the potty, correctly.
Now please tell me where I have gone wrong. I am sure my son will never do it!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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WigWamBam · 25/06/2007 21:56

You haven't gone wrong.

He's just not ready yet - many children aren't until they're around three.

It will happen when he's ready. Try not to compare him with your daughter; 18 months is very early and girls are often quicker to learn to use the toilet than boys anyway.

Keep the pressure off him (and you!) and give it another try in a couple of months. He'll get there.

TheArmadillo · 25/06/2007 21:56

it isn't unusual for boys especially not to be potty trained until around 3 years old (or 3.6 or similar).

I wouldn't panic yet - children are ready at different times. Is he actually ready yet? Showing signs of wanting to use the toilet that kinda thing?

WIll the preschool accept a child still in nappies? Even if not you still have another 3 months ahead of you.

Hulababy · 25/06/2007 21:58

Less than 3 is definitely nothing to worry about, Many children are 3-4 before they are ready for day time training. Night time training is entirely different matter.

Your 18 month old is just very very early that is all.

If it has been going on for a year then he is simply not rready. I'd put him back in nappies and leave him for a while. Try again every couple of months for 2 or 3 days. One day it will be just the right time and will click.

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perpetuaphoenixfire · 25/06/2007 22:01

my 2 oldest trained the week after they were 3. ds1 took a day, ds2 took 3 days. brilliant! ds3 is a different kettle of fish, he is 3.1 and refusing utterly. i asked hv for a bit of reassurance last time i saw her and she said its nothing unusual so im happy. will prob give it another go in summer hols

Original poster

tulip27 · 25/06/2007 22:02

I just feel so embarressed, he is big for his age and i am sure people look at his nappy peeping out of his trousers and think lazy mum.
If there is a chocolate reward in the offing he will use potty correctly but kept letting out small dribbles to get more chocolate and then not eating meals so I stopped the bribes. He just seems like he can't be bothered. Am I being too hard on him?

OP posts:

uberalice · 25/06/2007 22:02

I'm convinced it's a switch, rather than a learned thing. When he's ready, it will happen. I tried with ds1 (then 2.2) last year and it was a disaster. I put him back in nappies, waited 6 months and tried again, and it was a breeze.

backhomenow · 25/06/2007 22:03

i opened this expectng to see your son was at least 4

ds1 was past 3 before he mastered it completely.

Hulababy · 25/06/2007 22:04

He doesn't sound ready tulip. I'd take the pressure off him for a bit and try again in a couple of months.

And don't feel guilty. He is still so little. I am sure no one is judging you.

perpetuaphoenixfire · 25/06/2007 22:04

ds is also big for his age, i got quite frustrated as i know he can do it, he just wont! he will hold it til he can run off and do it secretly behind a chair but wont use potty or toilet, even tho he really loves using the potty as a toy! its just not worth the stress

TheArmadillo · 25/06/2007 22:05

If it is stressing you out this much and you have been trying for a year, then put him back in nappies and leave it.

The rest will do you both good.

Lots of children are still in nappies at this age (mine is - and people often assume he is older too).

No one will comment - and if they do are they really worth listening to? Is it really worth putting yourself and your ds through all this stress because of one person's opinion.

Cappuccino · 25/06/2007 22:05

18 months?

I have a two and a half year old dd and she is only just getting the idea that she should wee on the potty

it has been about a week since she realised

WigWamBam · 25/06/2007 22:06

Don't be embarrassed. He won't be the oldest child they've ever seen still in nappies - it really is perfectly normal.

If you feel that rewards work, why not have a sticker chart instead, with a sticker for each proper wee in the potty (not for the dribbles he does to try and earn more!) and the promise of a present if he gets so many stickers? It only needs to be a magazine or something.

I have to say, though, I'm more inclined towards the "it's a switch" theory than "it can be taught", and I would just leave it be completely for a while.

Original poster

tulip27 · 25/06/2007 22:09

Yeah I have been swayed to the switch theory by my daughter, perhaps I will try again later, mabye his little sister can teach him.
Although is it bad if i put pants over his nappy to hide the nappy from view!

OP posts:

Miaou · 25/06/2007 22:10

dd2 was four before she was reliably dry during the day, and almost five before she was dry at night. Some kids are just like that!! She took a long time to "get it", and has a very small bladder (we suspect) - at 8.5 she cannot get through the night without needing to get up to go to the loo at least once, and needs to go constantly during the day.

WigWamBam · 25/06/2007 22:12

There's no need to put pants over his nappy. It may confuse him - and anyway, a nappy-clad bum is pretty obvious even if you try to hide it! It may also make your anxiety apparent to him, which won't help one little bit.

Stop worrying - they really will have seen it all before! No-one's going to judge you - and if they do, so what?

Original poster

tulip27 · 25/06/2007 22:12

Or i could catheterise him!

OP posts:

Original poster

tulip27 · 25/06/2007 22:14

Ok , back to nappies it is. But just curious has ANYONE ever managed to do it by she who must not be named Fords book, Potty trained in a week?

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 25/06/2007 22:15

Now you're being silly

If you are anxious about it, he will pick up on it, and it is likely to make things worse rather than better.

Try to relax; there are worse things than being in a nappy at less than 3.

Dd is still in a nappy at nighttime and she's 6 ... I'm not in the slightest bit bothered, it will happen when she is ready and that's that. The same is true of daytime dryness.

brimfull · 25/06/2007 22:16

my ds went to preschool in nappies,perfectly normal,don't worry.

Hulababy · 25/06/2007 22:16

I did read the GF potty training in a week book, and did follow some of the things suggested. But not until DD was completely ready and I took her lead. She was dry within 3 days, but she did it all herself really, rather than me having to PT her IYSWIM. Makes life so much easier that way round.

Aloha · 25/06/2007 22:16

Oh he's only a baby. My ds was four when he finally got there. My dd is 2.4 and she's only just started and I think she's a GENIUS! It's really normal for boys to still be struggling at not yet three, I think.

Skribble · 25/06/2007 22:18

Sounds normal DS started pre pre school at 3 with pull ups on and I am sure he still had pull ups on at night when he was 5. He's 10 and still has bed mats under his sheets but has been dry for ages now.

jajas · 25/06/2007 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bookwormmum · 25/06/2007 22:40

My dd was only just day-dry in nursery - she was 3.3 months then and it was about another 6-7 months before we dared to try no nappy at night (in the end, I'd run out, didn't want to buy anymore and told her she'd have to do her best) - and it was like a switch being turned on, she was dry barring a few accidents. A few of the children in her class have only just come out of night-nappies in the last year or so - they're all rising 7/8 now. I must admit I thought that we wouldn't have her ready in time but it suddenly happened.

Just a thought, my dd refused to use the potty and preferred to be held on the loo. maybe your ds would prefer a little step to stand on and perhaps let him see your dp use the loo so he knows how 'big boys' do it?

cece · 25/06/2007 22:43

Haven't read your whole thread but I would leave it for a month or two and try again then. he obviously isn't ready for it yet. FWIW DS was much tougher to toilet train tahn DD but both were almost 3.

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