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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving Children With A Babysitter You Haven't Met

47 replies

nannynick · 10/06/2007 09:11

As a childcare provider I always meet families prior to providing childcare. That way the children get to know me a little before they are left in my care.

Recently a friend said that it was unusual to meet a babysitter before using them. Is that really the case? Would you use a babysitter you haden't met, or a babysitter who you only meet that same evening (such as they arrive 15 minutes early to get to know your family)?

Maybe I am out of touch with reality... or do you agree with me that childcarers should meet families first?

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GibbonInARibbon · 10/06/2007 09:12

Good Lord no...I would have to know someone very well before leaving DD in their care.

LIZS · 10/06/2007 09:14

I wouldn't use anyone I didn't already know. In fact have only ever used family, neighbour or school-based ones but we're sad and rarely go out. But then I'm sure I've done things others would n't ...

Gobbledigook · 10/06/2007 09:15

No, I would have to know them extremely well and, personally, it would be a close friend or family member and that's it.

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FrannyandZooey · 10/06/2007 09:18

As an ex-babysitter I would often turn up to work with children that I had never met before

a ruddy nightmare really

GibbonInARibbon · 10/06/2007 09:22

Really F&Z?? I should imagine it's hard for the babysitter too.

I just cannot envisage ever leaving DD with someone I had never met.

Scanner · 10/06/2007 09:25

I have done this once when we used a babysitting agency, so we were comforted by the knowledge that checks had been done. The children were young and not as likely to play up like they could do now. the babysitter was fab and we continued to use her until we moved house.

Now I'm lucky enough to have one of ds's nursery teachers, who lives down the road babysit.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 10/06/2007 09:28

We've only ever left DS and DD with people we'd known for long. I think I'd leave them with someone recommended by someone else (eg by another parent from school, if it was their au-pair) but we've never yet had to as we just plan things for when we have my parents around. In case of a real emergency, though, I think I'd use someone un-known or less well-known who came with a recommendation.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 10/06/2007 09:29

Yes, a babysitting agency too, if we could afford it.

FrannyandZooey · 10/06/2007 09:32

I had usually met the parents or was vaguely known to the parents

not a good situation all round IMO though

Original poster

nannynick · 10/06/2007 15:39

Would you rather use a sitter through an agency, rather than an independent sitter who is checked by Ofsted, CRB etc?

Seems to me that some parents are putting a lot of trust in agencies... over on the nannies/childminders board, it is often said that nanny agencies should be avoided because they often don't check backgrounds as much as you would yourself.

OP posts:

BrothelSprouts · 10/06/2007 15:52

I wouldn't leave my children with someone I didn't know in advance.
Conversely, when I was nannying for a year prior to uni, I was interviewed by a woman at 8pm one night - and started work for her at 7am the next morning - when she and her husband went on holiday for 10 days.
They left (18 year old) me in sole charge of their three children (aged 6,4 and 2).
Her husband met me as they left for the airport.
So different people expect different things.

looneytune · 10/06/2007 15:57

It would have to be someone ds has actually met. I would still feel uncomfortable if I didn't really know them, I'd have to feel 100% happy with the situation/person first. Having said that, I've never met you in RL but I'd be happy for you to babysit ds if we could afford to pay someone. I feel like I know you well enough from the childminders club

bewilderbeast · 10/06/2007 16:01

I would never use a babysitter that I had not met and who hadn't spent some time with ds so that I knew he was comfortable with them. At 8 monthhs he's not that fussy but I wouldn't, for example, want to go out when he was asleep and have him wake up to a face he didn't know.

SofiaAmes · 10/06/2007 16:04

Never would use someone I hadn't met and didn't know quite a lot about. My two are 4 and 6 and other than relatives, I have only ever used either people I have known for a very long time or more recently some of ds' teachers in the afterschool club (but only after they had been his teacher for a year) and they are checked out (we're in usa), by police and social services.

For me it's not about the children meeting the sitter first, but more about me having some idea of their roots, values and character.

Mercy · 10/06/2007 16:11

Interesting question.

In theory I think would but it would be on the basis of personal recommendation by other parents. So would therefore prefer an independent sitter or a small agency.

In reality it's not going to happen because ds would freak if he woke up and saw an unfamiliar face. In fact he would freak if he knew we would be going anywhere without him. Fair enough.

LynetteScavo · 10/06/2007 16:20

I'm registered with sitters, as I know some of the sitters whoare on their books. Untill last year, I wouldn't have contemplated leaving my childen with anyone they'd never met. Let alone someone I'd never met.

Then disaster struck; our babysitter, who was DS's pre-school manager canceled 2 hours before we were due to go out. We phoned everyone we could think of to baby sit, but no one was available or willing(even grandparents ) It was a really important evening, as DH was giving a speach, and really wanted me sitting beside him on the top table. I'd bought a new dress and shoes, had a professional manicure / blow dry. I decided to phone sitters, and they could only find someone I never met before. When the sitter turned up she was amazing. She zipped me into my dress (DH had already left) asked all the right questions, was brilliant with both boys, read loads of stories, played loads of games with DS1 before he went to bed, and was generaly an angel. Both boys immediately took to her and the next morning asked when she was comming again. Needless to say, we've used her again! She turned a complete night mare into a wonderful experiance.

star1976 · 10/06/2007 17:43

Couldn't leave DS and DD with someone I didn't know, or that he/she didn't know.

Left him with my mum a couple of months ago, who he hasn't seen since xmas, and I obvious trust with my own life, and he screamed so much we had to come home.

He is very much suffereing from seperation anxiety at the moment though!

KerryMum · 10/06/2007 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NuttyMuffins · 10/06/2007 17:53

No I wouldn't.

MrsTulkinghorn · 10/06/2007 17:56

I have. DD is 9 months and a good sleeper (touch wood - don't want to jinx that). Once she is asleep she usually stays that way. I have used several babysitters who I have never met before but have been recommended by friends. I put DD to bed before the arrive and tell them to call me if she wakes (I am never that far away). So far she has never woken. I feel totally confortable using (recommended) strangers in this way at the moment.

SpawnChorus · 10/06/2007 17:59

Oooh...Slight hijack, but how about on holiday? I've never left DCs with a babysitter at all (other than grandparents) but on hol we are planning to use one of the hotel babysitters every now and then so we can have an evening meal by ourselves (DCs are both under 3, so not easy to keep them up for a meal in the evening).

Do you think this is a bad idea? We obviously won't know the sitter in advance. Oh dear...I was already feeling a bit unsure about it, but thought I was being overly anxious...

SofiaAmes · 10/06/2007 18:13

Spawnchorus, I think it's a really personal decision and very much dependent on you and your children. I would never do it, but when we go on holiday we take the children out to dinner with us and then let them fall asleep at the table or in the buggy during dinner. Both our children will do this, so it's not an issue for us. My concern with hotel babysitter is that you know aboslutely nothing about them and have no way of really knowing how thorough the hotel is in checking them out. Also all they can really say is that they don't have a criminal record which isn't really too indicative of how responsible they are (my dh happens to have a criminal record and is an amazing child carer).

justbeme · 10/06/2007 18:25

Can I hijak for a minute??

Ive been asked to a good friends 40th - which is about 50 miles away - she's told me no children are allowed in the venue and that I can leave my baby (who isnt yet born - so could be about 12 weeks old), with her mums boyfriends, ex wife who has had 6 children (must be in her 60's). This means the baby will be about 20 mins drive away from the venue - I dont feel happy with this (but havent said anything yet ) - do you think im being silly?

kslatts · 10/06/2007 18:31

I wouldn't leave my dd's with a babysitter unless it was someone I knew well. I'm lucky that my parents live close by and usually are happy to babysit.

motherinferior · 10/06/2007 18:33

Oh, probably I would, yes. In fact our cleaner babysat and brought her partner with her, and I had a moment of thinking 'ohno' and then came to my senses and realised they'd babysat together for friends of mine loads of times, and we bogged off out.

Frankly, I get out so rarely that offered a babysitter I'd probably be out of the door before the introductions were over.

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