Leaving Children With A Babysitter You Haven't Met

[nannynick]

As a childcare provider I always meet families prior to providing childcare. That way the children get to know me a little before they are left in my care.

Recently a friend said that it was unusual to meet a babysitter before using them. Is that really the case? Would you use a babysitter you haden't met, or a babysitter who you only meet that same evening (such as they arrive 15 minutes early to get to know your family)?

Maybe I am out of touch with reality... or do you agree with me that childcarers should meet families first?

Thing is, I bet loads of you do have the option of family.

Not saying I get out much, or anything.

No not silly at all... I'd take the 12 week old with you, regardless of the venue's policy! If they want you at the party, surely they can accommodate a young baby... a baby will either sleep, or scream (in which case you take them to another place within the venue till they calm down, else you go home).

I have babysat for families who have known me for many years and even then when a new baby arrives, they will often take baby with them (especially if breastfeeding) leaving me to care for the older children.

But you can have babysitters without family. It just costs money - a lot really - and it is a hassle. My stepdaughter babysits sometimes but usually we prefer to be with her - unless she has her boyfriend round, in which case she prefers us NOT to be there
what about your childminder's kids? or neighbours' teenagers?

These days I think more and more parents do not have family close at hand. Certainly in the South East where I am located, the population tends to be quite mobile.

I have no one to babysit for us.
I was thinking of advertising in the local newsagent and ask people to come and meet me. I know this is risky, but I do believe that checks made on nanny's doesn't provide me with security either.

We did have lovely Kelly, from my sons nursery, but she has gone abroad now. None of the other girls want to.

WWW swears by the Sitters agency.

I do find that friends who don't have kids are often very, very happy to be asked to babysit. It takes quite a lot of planning, because they usually do have a life, but it's very pleasant for everyone and of course it's free.

Oblomov, quite agree... the only checks that are the most reassuring are the ones you do yourself. For example, when I meet families I bring a portfolio containing qualification certificates, insurance certificate, Ofsted and SureStart clearance, a selection of CRB checks, various other certificates from courses such as First Aid, Child Protection, plus references/testimonials from families. These days I find that usually covers most concerns parents have, though if they want to speak with a family, or families for whom I babysit, then that can also be arranged.

Asking people to apply for the job as it were I see as being a good thing. You may want them to send you something via e-mail, or call you to tell you about themselves and their suitability, prior to arranging a meeting. Also you can advertise on MumsNet, in the NannyShares section, as that is used for a variety of childcare recruitment.

never, i wouldn't even use a babysitting service!

Has to be my mum, MIL or maybe an aunt - thats it.

'Has to be my mum, MIL or maybe an aunt'...my point being that many of us do not have those options.

For parents who don't go out that much, national agencies like Sitters cost even more than me . Large agencies don't seem to allow you much of an opportunity to meet the childcarer beforehand... sure they may turn up 15 mins or so early, but that's not what I consider to be a getting to know you session, as it were. I tend to spend 30mins to an hour (has been known to be even longer, depending on the family) getting to know the children and parents, days, weeks or even a month or so before the first time I actually babysit.

Dh mum lives 2 1/2 hrs away and is 80. My mum lives 1 1/2 hrs away. My sil lives 3/4 hr away and has 2 children under 3. I can ask her in an emergency, but I don't want to. I want an independant person, who can do it for me on an occassional Fri/Sat night.
If I had Kittylettes family, I am sure I wouldn't need to ask anyone else.

If they couldn't mind them then i wouldn't go out.

not that I go out anyways! lol - if MIL comes to take them out its usuallt to the park in the day and i just tidy up.

that sounded wrong- like im saying kids shouldnt be left with nonfamily members!

i didnt mean that, i just meant that i wouldnt go out if a family member couldnt mind tham 0- mainly because i wouldnt be able to afford a night out and a profesional babysiter.

Kittylet - you are not suggesting that anyone without family shouldn't go out, are you ?

But I think having someone local who can't do it so you don't go out is a LOT different to NEVER having anyone available - I hardly ever go out but I couldn't NEVER go out, it drives me mad being stuck in as it is! I personally would still want to know the person but I also feel better about using other childminders etc who I don't know so well - I wouldn't have before I became a childminder but I see how many good people there are out that makes me less nervous.

I don't think that Kittylet is saying that parents without family around should not go out - more that she is lucky to have family around, so will use them on those occasions when she needs a babysitter.

For parents without families around, or even those with family close by, but who don't want to burden the family members with childcare duties, finding a suitable babysitter can be a tough thing to do.

Thank you Nannynick - how nicely put.

I obviously have an interest in this topic - as I did start it - and advertise my babysitting service in the Mumsnet Small Business ads section.

• That should keep the Mumsnet police happy I hope -

I first started to insist on meeting families prior to babysitting, when back in the early 90's, I arrived at a new clients home, to be turned away - because they had expected a woman They had received my printed booklet (which I did back in those days), yet either they didn't read it, or read it and still didn't realise that I was a Nick, not a Nikki or Nicky!

Babysitting agencies have not been around all that long really (anyone know when the first national one started?), so before them, I expect a lot of people found local babysitters via personal recommendation and adverts in newsagents windows.

Do you recall how your own parents found babysitters? My mother was a member of a babysitting circle I recall.

I use Sitters I haven't met from Sitters. I trist them as I know their receruitment is v stringent.

My MIL lives in the same town as us, although we don't see her too often. I left DD with her for a few mornings while I settled DS2 into pre-school. She was 10 months, and screamed the entire time I was gone. Another time I left her looking after all 3 while DH and I went to a parents meeeting. When we returned she was in our house, and DD -then 15 months- was in a neighbours garage playing with an 8 yar old. We lived in a safe cul-de- sac, but I was none too chuffed! In these instances, I think a trained and experianced child carer she'd never met may have been preferable.