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Original poster

3.4 year old can't swim - please agree with me in thinking this is ok...

44 replies

dancingtina · 09/05/2007 21:43

cos i'm starting to doubt my own mind.

My mum has just been staying with her other grandkids and has come back saying that they go to swimming lessons and they are brilliant swimmers. My niece is exactly the same age as my daughter so is hard not to compare their development although we all try hard not to.

Anyway, my mum has come back and is frantically ringing round swimming pools trying to find somewhere that does swimming lessons for 3 year old cos we're all going on a family holiday in July and she thinks my little girl will be 'left out' cos she can't swim.

For info: my daughter is very confident in water, loves playing and splashing and jumping in (to someones arms). She doesn't cry when she gets water in her face or swallows water and will happily tread water (in her armbands) and will do a tiny bit of doggy paddle. As far as I'm concerned - this will make her well able to enjoy a family holiday in the water don't you think?

I was quite confident about this but now my mum's made me doubt myself. My nieces go to every class going (swimming, horse riding, dancing, gymanastics, french, music etc etc). My little girl goes to play school and hangs out with me and my friends kids. Each to their own I think but now I'm wondering if I should be pushing her more...

reasurrance please - can all your kids swim?

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LucyJones · 09/05/2007 21:44

My 3.2 year old ds loves splashing etc but can't swim. Don't worry, I don't think I swam until at least seven years old

poptot · 09/05/2007 21:45

Completely normally my ds is the same age and this is all he does, FWIW my dd was the same and then swam like a fish, without armbands when she was 4.5

Londonmamma · 09/05/2007 21:46

WTF? My perfectly normal, bright and able DS2 is SEVEN and TODAY I am on a high because he finally did a few proper strokes during a swimming lesson!

What you're talking about is competitive parenting at its very worst I.M.H.O.

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popmum · 09/05/2007 21:46

mine can't & she is 4. enjoys the water though. most of her mates are doing swim lessons now but i think before about 4 they are too young.

foxinsocks · 09/05/2007 21:47

no, neither of mine could swim at 3. But both can now and absolutely love it. 3 is very early to swim - as long as she's enjoying the water now, then that's great. They can normally start lessons at 3 but personally, unless either you or her are dead keen on it, I'd wait till she's a bit bigger and able to concentrate in a lesson (otherwise, just concentrate on her enjoying being in the water!).

Hulababy · 09/05/2007 21:47

Round here children can't start swimming lessons until they are 5, and then it is just level 1 - which means swimming with flotation aids and bobbing head under water.

3 is very young for real swimming. Water confidence is what matters at this age. From what you say it sounds like she is doing just fine.

AlwaysWatchingCastawayAt2am · 09/05/2007 21:48

hell no! i took my ds to all sorts of clases but he didn't get the hang of swimming until he was in reception, age 5, and we got into a habit of swimming with our neighbour's kids after school every week.

my daughter 3.5 is happy splashing around in arm bands (as long as her friends are there - not me! and certainly not in a lesson) but nothing else. absolutely don't worry no way jose. playing and hanging out is much more relaxing and none of it will matter in a couple of years' time.

Pixiefish · 09/05/2007 21:48

My 3 yo dd is on week 4 of her Tadpoles swimming classes. Just gaining water confidence and doing little Duckling badges.

She enjoys splashing but we live by the sea so I wanted her to be able to swim

Springadora · 09/05/2007 21:49

I'm sure you daughter can have a great time on hols just splashing around with her arm bands
Most trad swimming lessons (by which I mean without mum, teacher in the pool) start at age 3 and not before because of insurance
Most kids cannot swim by age 3.4, even with swimming lessons
So go have a great holiday!
That said, all mine have swimming lessons at least once a week as I am paranoid about drowning. I don't think it comes in the same category as ballet etc as it is an essential life skill.

HTH

ceolas · 09/05/2007 21:49

My 7 year old can swim a few metres. 5 year old not yet but in lessons. DS will be 4 in June and whilst happy in water, loves going to the pool, etc. cannot swim nor has he had a lesson.

Sounds link your daughter is doing just fine for her age.

Bagpuss30 · 09/05/2007 21:50

My two elder children are 6 and 4 and have just started swimming lessons. Neither can do a proper stroke yet. I personally wouldn't worry about it at 3 .

hairymclary · 09/05/2007 22:01

I wouldn't expect her to be able to swim. I didn't learn until I went to school and we had lessons.
however, if your mum wants to pay for her to go then I'd let her. she may enjoy the lessons, and it'll stand her in good stead in the future.

hewlettsdaughter · 09/05/2007 22:04

Your dd sounds lovely dancingtina - go with your instinct

ravenAK · 09/05/2007 22:07

Could you ask your dd if she fancies going to swimming lessons?

She might love the idea! OTOH she might be like my db who was frankly terrified & ended up learning as an adult.

I'd give it a go if she loves the water.

elasticbandstand · 09/05/2007 22:12

the pool advised me that not before the age of 4, was best to start to learn.. which i duely did with my 3. waste of money before then she reckoned.
i also heard 7 was the optimum age for most things, swimming, languages, music etc., etc.,

1dilemma · 09/05/2007 22:13

crazy please do carry on trying not to compare, we recently saw our dc cousins and had to endure cries of 'oh they are such good swimmers' 'oh doesn't xxx swim well for her age' etc etc (mainly from MIL who hates me and seems to have it in for our kids now) whilst we watched the poor lamb virtually drown as she 'swam' the 2 feet between one person and the next whilst slowly sinking under the water. FWIW I remember reading that children less than ? can't swim anyway limbs too short or something and the ? was at least 4

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 09/05/2007 22:17

Your DD is doing just fine and will have a lovely time in the pool when you're on holiday.

I started my DD at 4.5yo and she caught up (and overtook) all her friends who had been Little Dippers from baby/toddlerhood in a single term.

At 4/5/6yo they have the strength to begin using strokes, they are also better able to listen to the instructor and they don't need floats or their mummy in the water to help them. You'll know when your DD is ready for this.

Besides, very young children who can 'swim' are often more dangerous around water than those who know they'll sink.

FiveFingeredFiend · 09/05/2007 22:18

OFGS.

Ladymuck · 09/05/2007 22:25

DS1 started swimming lessons at 3.6 and was confidently swimming within 6 months. DS2 started swimming lessons at 2.8 and was swimming at 3. They don't do horseriding, dancing, french or music (or at least ds1 didn't until he started school).

But if your dd is confident in the water in armbands or a jacket then she will join in and still have plenty of fun. I wouldn't try to set some target for her in terms of leanring before a holiday, and if she doesn't find her lessons to be fun I wouldn't bother.

Hallgerda · 10/05/2007 08:03

Mine can all swim now, but none of them could do it until they were around 6. I tried lessons earlier with DS1, but looking back it wasn't money well spent.

Take pride in your daughter learning the very valuable skill of organizing her own time. And think of all the money you're saving.

PedroPony · 10/05/2007 08:04

totally normal

Ponka · 10/05/2007 08:08

No way. DS is pretty much 3 now and he is nowhere near learning to swim. He's very nervous in water. I can't see that changing over the next 6 months or even year and I don't mind about that at all. It's who he is.

Gingermonkey · 10/05/2007 08:24

DD was petrified of water til she was 5 and then learnt to swim very, very quickly (she's still a bit rubbish, won't ever make the olympic team but she won't drown either so that's the main thing!). It wasn't like we didn't take her swimming, she just screamed each time we went so it was a bit of a wasted journey (loved baths and showers and paddling - just not the deeper water). I don't think you should worry at all - as long as she likes the water she will learn in her own time and she can start lessons eventually.

IdrisTheDragon · 10/05/2007 08:25

DS is 3.5 and can't swim. I don't expect him to be able to for ages.

jenkel · 10/05/2007 08:36

Confidence in water is the most important thing.

However we went on holiday last year (dd was 3 1/2) and she made friends with some kids who could swim and she kept asking if she could learn to swim. So we started swimming lessons as soon as we can back from holiday, its been almost a year on now and she still cant swim unadided but is so much more confident.

All she does in Swimming Lessons and Ballet, at times I think thats too much, but she loves Ballet and now we have started swimming lessons I do think its essential

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