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Original poster

3.4 year old can't swim - please agree with me in thinking this is ok...

44 replies

dancingtina · 09/05/2007 21:43

cos i'm starting to doubt my own mind.

My mum has just been staying with her other grandkids and has come back saying that they go to swimming lessons and they are brilliant swimmers. My niece is exactly the same age as my daughter so is hard not to compare their development although we all try hard not to.

Anyway, my mum has come back and is frantically ringing round swimming pools trying to find somewhere that does swimming lessons for 3 year old cos we're all going on a family holiday in July and she thinks my little girl will be 'left out' cos she can't swim.

For info: my daughter is very confident in water, loves playing and splashing and jumping in (to someones arms). She doesn't cry when she gets water in her face or swallows water and will happily tread water (in her armbands) and will do a tiny bit of doggy paddle. As far as I'm concerned - this will make her well able to enjoy a family holiday in the water don't you think?

I was quite confident about this but now my mum's made me doubt myself. My nieces go to every class going (swimming, horse riding, dancing, gymanastics, french, music etc etc). My little girl goes to play school and hangs out with me and my friends kids. Each to their own I think but now I'm wondering if I should be pushing her more...

reasurrance please - can all your kids swim?

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brimfull · 10/05/2007 08:38

you are normal ,don't compare with the others,ds is 4.5 and can't swim yet.

schneebly · 10/05/2007 08:49

sounds to me like she is doing great! DS1 is 3.y 9mo and can doggie paddle a bit with armbands and a waist float and I am ecstatic about that because I couldnt swim until I was 10!

bozza · 10/05/2007 08:59

I agree with confidence being the main thing to encourage so a holiday with your neices who are presumably confident in water will be fantastic for her and great fun.

FWIW my DS has been having swimming lessons since he was 3 and at 6 still can't swim, although I have seen lots of children learn to swim during these lessons DS is taking his time. DD will be 3 on Tuesday. She is not as confident in the water as I would like but she can swim with arm bands on her front (including doing breast stroke legs) and on her back, do star floats etc which I think is pretty good. Both my DC do much better confidence-wise when they are having fun in the water with friends.

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SweetyDarling · 10/05/2007 09:02

I grew up in Aus and it would be v unusual there, but that is only bc children are around water so much and need to be safe in case they fall in a pool or something. On that note my only concern would be that your DD might see her cousins swimming and follow them in and get into trouble?
She's off to a great start if she enjoys the water, but I would see swimming as a life-skill and not comparable to horse-riding, ballet etc which are just enjoyable hobbies.

hertsnessex · 10/05/2007 09:10

i think its fine. i have taken my ds's swimming 3/4 times a week for the past yr (they are now 2.5 and 3.5) because its something we all enjoy doing.

they have just started lessons. we have moved from rings, to arm bands to floats and they are doing fine.

they can 'float' on their own, but certainly not swim.

i cant see why if your dd has fun swimming then why she has to 'swim' for your holiday and even if she starts lessons now, having oen a week will not make her a great swimmer by july!!

fun in the pool and learning to be safe and confident is far more important.

tell your mum to go away!

Cxx

Roobie · 10/05/2007 09:13

My dd didn't go near a swimming pool until she was 4 (it just was never one of the things we did). She went straight into lessons and is doing fine although can't yet swim a proper stroke.

Pruni · 10/05/2007 09:18

Message withdrawn

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/05/2007 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 10/05/2007 09:32

Of course it's okay. My niece, a very bright girl and naturally athletic, couldn't swim till she was about 7.

She's nearly 13 and now a competitive swimmer.

mummyluvsyoo · 10/05/2007 09:40

Hi dancingtina - does it really matter whether all our kids can swim? Surely the most important thing is that your child is happy and you are happy. Who cares what other children can or can't do?

You say she is confident in water and that's fine. If you give her swimming lessons for a holiday in 8 weeks time - that really might not be long enough for her to be swimming confidently and she could even end up in a dangerous situation in the water. I say leave well alone. She'll swim when she's ready.

My DS is 3.5 - can't swim. We went to children's swimming lessons at the local pool last year and he didn't like it. His last nursery made such an issue out of me not sending him swimming with them so for that and other reasons, I took him out of there. You have to know your child and I know mine is not ready to be in water just yet.

For my part I can't swim and I don't see swimming as the be all and end all. There are other things to do on holiday besides swimming after all!

SoupDragon · 10/05/2007 09:42

Both DSs could swim at 2.

It was important for me becauseI'm not confident in water, I did the baby swimming lessons to ensure my chldren didn't grow up the sam. The fact that they learnt to swim was a bonus, not the primary reason.

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/05/2007 09:46

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elibean · 10/05/2007 09:50

Your dd sounds just like mine, who is also 3.4 and loves 'swimming' with armbands or a supporting hand. She's well on her way, and most importantly, loves the water. Her 3.5 year old cousin has just about learnt to swim without armbands, after a year of weekly lessons - but although swimming with him makes my dd more eager to learn (good), she is in no way left out. His 5 year old sister, btw, is at the same stage as him - just said goodbye to armbands.

I learnt at about five, and am a very good swimmer, was always in the water as a child - never had a lesson, just saw my Dad enjoy swimming

The competitive stuff around swimming IRL really me off - and makes me laugh, tbh. Its totally not about the kids

Marne · 10/05/2007 09:52

My 3.3 year old cant swim, to be honist i've never taken her as she is bad enough in the bath (hates water)

I could'nt swim till i was 6 or 7, i don't see a problem.

mummyluvsyoo · 10/05/2007 09:54

Hi MMJ I hear what you say, and I will encourage my DS to swim when he is ready. This summer I will start taking him to another pool which is more play orientated to let him have a splash around.

But I truly believe that everyone can't be good at everything - so if he ends up being c**p at swimming that's not a problem because he is and will be very good at other things (just like his mummy!), and take pride and confidence from the things he is good at.

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/05/2007 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nemo2007 · 10/05/2007 10:20

Not read the thread but of course it is ok that she cant swim. My DS is 3.6yrs and has been having swimming lessons only because I needed to find something to burn of his energy of a weekend and he is doing well. However there are children in his group who are 6 and 7 who cant swim. I wouldnt worry about it at all as DS can just swim 5m without armbands but if we were going on holiday I would still insist he had his armbands on for safety and his own fun.

Loshad · 10/05/2007 11:07

ime it's pretty unusual for 3yos to be able to swim without any aids. Proper lessons here don't start until they start school, before then it's in with an adult and splashing around, but little more than you would do yourself in the pool with them. Only one of mine could swim at just turned 4, the others all learnt during their reception year, and there will be plenty of children who learn after that. Personally I think that at 3.4 they find concentrating on what the teacher is sayinf for 30 mins pretty hard, and you get good results waiting for formal lessons until 4+.

frances5 · 10/05/2007 12:12

I don't think that there are many three year olds who can swim although I know a two children who could swim at three, but both of them had swimming teachers as mums and went swimming about three times a week.

My little boy is five years old and he is now getting a lot out of his lessons. His teacher is able to develop his stroke and tell him what he is doing right/ wrong. His coordination is far better than a three year old and he remembers instructions better.

All that lessons at three years old do is gain water confidence. It sounds like your three year old has plenty of water confidence.

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