working mothers who pay for childcare...

[DetentionGrrrl]

What do you have? eg childminder, nanny, nursery?

What positives / negatives do you have?

Am back in work in March for 4 days a week- DS will be about 9mths old. Unsure what to do

I used a day nursery and was very happy with it ( it was run by the council)

I have a childminder. She has no official qualifications other than is a mum already (biggest one she needs in my eyes) to 4 now grown up children. She is like a second mother to my DS, he loves her. She gives him 1 to 1 attention and I feel totally comfortable leaving him with her. She is also a member of the National Childminding Assc which encourages all childminders in an area to get to know each other, checks them every 6 weeks and forms part of a network. Not all CMs have to be part of this but I would not use one that isn't personally.

I went to nurserys when choosing and used one a couple of times whilst on mat leave studying at college, same price, not as flexible with times though. My negatives were although an older person was responsible for the overall running of it, nursery was manned by very young girls which made me a little uneasy. There seemed to be lots of babies being cared for by few IYKWIM. Also for a little one, they didn't have the time to give real one to one care as they have other kids as well.

A nanny would be too expensive for me to use. Think double cost of a childminder & then some.

how old was your child then iota?

DS nearly 3 was in local private nursery for three days a week but i was very unhappy with the way things were run - seemed to be too many children and not enough adults plus lots of 'unexplained bumps and bruises' on DS. He is now in a council run local nursery three mornings a week and absolutley loves it. i drop him off before i go to work and pick him up again at lunchtime to take him to my parents who look after him the rest of the time (i work full time). Very happy with the friendly staff, lower numbers of kids and DS is having a ball!!

Ds has been left with a nanny from 7-months-old - he is 15 months now.
She is brilliant, he loves her, she loves him. She takes him to toddler groups and walks every day and looks after him really well. I could tell her exactly how I want things done if I was pedantic but I actually quite like the way she does them on her initiative.

She also keeps the house tidy (without being asked) and does some light housework - i.e. all of the washing and occasional errands (e.g. pick up a package from the post office).

No hassle with taking his to her cos she comes home. If I need to be late from work all I do is give her a call - much more flexible than a nursery.

Cost is obviously the big disadvantage. Also some people have said to me they don't want their chid getting attached to another primary carer - I really don't get this argument.

I went back to work yesterday after being on maternity leave with dd2 - wasn't too bad!

Dd1 is 27 months and dd2 is nearly 11 months they both now go to a private day nursery. I am very happy with the nursery - dd1 still went 3 days a week whilst I was on maternity leave with dd2.

For me, nursery was the only choice I didn't consider any of the other choices. If a member of staff is sick at a nursery then that is the nursery's problem to find cover - it still means the dd's can attend and I don't have to take a day off. I liked the idea of the dd's having interaction with lots of children and also (selfishly from my perspective) there would be lots of adult carers so I would remain the 'special one' IYKWIM.

So far, with a combination of maternity leave and annual leave I have managed not to send the dd's to nursery full-time - just 3 times a week. I am considering changing the hours I work as I love and appreciate my time with my lo's especially as I am not at home with them full-time. HTH

Justaphase, I agree, I don't understand why people don't want their child to get attached. I love the fact the my CM & my DS have a huge bond, she loves him nearly as much as me . I think DS is lucky to have 2 women who love him so much.

I have used mediocre nursery (briefly), Ok childminder, and very good super nursery. then another good nursery when we moved area. I do have a preference for nurseries having had a particularly good experience of them, and also all 3 of mine have enjoyed nursery, they are all quite sociable and also don't mind knuckling down in a group and doing what they're told.

In the end though I'd go for a good childminder over a mediocre nursery and vice versa, you have to check out your actual options on this.

I use a nursery and am very happy with it (so far) but it is a very good nursery and not all of them are so lovely. You need to visit them and see what they feel like, what are kids doing, how do staff interact with kids, are their plenty of hugs/cuddles etc.

Both my dc have attended from a very early age so there were no problems with settling in/being left. I would anticipate that whatever you do it will be a wrench to leave your ds for the first few days and he may be tearful at being left.

Positives are that it is reliable (nursery doesn't call me to cancel when one of their staff are off sick) but obviously they (and a childminder) can't look after a sick child like a nanny would. (Have you got a back-up plan ?, we use grandparents as a back-up to avoid having too much time off work for sickness).
The range of stuff the nursery do is great, loads of make and do craft stuff/baking/special music sessions every so often, visits from firemen/ambulance etc, nice outdoor play area and lots of playmates for my dc. Dc1 has had walks to feed the ducks in the park nearby etc.

They were marvellous at the toilet training stage and deal fantastically with the occasional clingy phases that we go through.

If you are going back to work in March you'd be too late to get a place at the more popular nurseries in my area so do start looking soon .

both my daughters went to nursery for 3 days a week when they were about 7 and a half months old (I wanted them to adjust before they experienced separation anxiety) and never looked back really. it really depends what you have available locally and the kind of day you work.

We had a day nanny who came to the house each day. We had 3 chidlren under 4 at one point and it was the cheapest option than 3 nursery places and also gave us more control, the children were at home with 1 - 1 just about care and no problems if they were sick.

DOn';t really want to say it here because I don't thkn the damage is necessarily big or a problem but a few studies found nusery care for small babies may not be as good as care in a home with one adult you bond with but lots of nurseries do manage that one to one bonding anyway. I would however have not liked a nursery so much.

My dd has been with a childminder since she was 11 months old. I think it's very important that she has the opportunity to develop a deep and caring relationship with whoever looks after her. She's generally either on her own, or with one other child at the childminder. The childminder works extremely hard to ensure that dd has the opportunity to socialise with other children at toddler groups etc. whilst still getting a lot of individual attention.

Ideally, I wanted to stay at home myself, but needed to go back to work part time in order to pay the bills! So, I made sure that she was in a home environment, even if it wasn't our own.

I work as a teacher in a good nursery, but am still convinced that a childminder is the right option for my dd.

Yes, various people on here are right, it can be inconvenient if dd is ill and can't go to the childminder and I am really lucky that I have a flexible and supportive employer who doesn't mind if I swap days around from time to time to accomodate looking after dd when she is ill.

Ds goes to a nursery 4 afternoons a week. He started at about 6 months old. He absolutely adores it. He does lots of arty/crafty stuff and they involve even the litle ones in all activities(I got a mothers day card from him, with his hand prints in the shape of a flower, he was about 7 or 8 months old!). Dh had to sign an 'accident form' for ds a few weeks ago because he had been hugging one of his little friends and they had both fallen over

Negatives - cost ( between 280 and 350 a month...it's not a very 'posh' place)

• if he is ill he can't go in.
• you still have to pay when you go on holiday etc
• I'm not 100% convinced by the food they provide (outside caterers...) but tell myself it is only 4 meals a week...

Both mine have been at nursery since 5-6 months old, not by choice I have to say.
A good nursery is hard to beat IMO. Ds' was superb, faultless. Dd's was fine for baby age but we became less happy with it at the end of the toddler phase and moved her to a school nursery which also offers wraparound when needed.

Positives of a good nursery are the socialising opportunities, range of activities and the fact that the children are looked after by a small number of familiar adults rather than just one. This means if one nursery nurse is ill, you are not obliged to look for emergency provision.

Negatives are that less well-run nurseries can provide a hectic, over-stimulating experience for younger babies, too high a turnover of staff can also be upsetting - and of course they catch a lot of bugs etc and will often have to be sent home or unable to attend.

Agree with bundle that "settled baby" age is a good time to get them started - before separation anxiety becomes a really tricky issue.

We have a CM and I am going back properly next week.

Advantages are he has been able to have settling in sessions over the last couple of months. CM very flexible over those.

I see where our DS is looked after and he gets to see what the two older children are doing so I think it is helping his development.

She is very cuddly and tactile with him which I love.

She is also a beautician so I can get my legs waxed there as well !

Disadvantages are cover for her holidays. However fingers crossed we have the back up of another CM that she knows so technically we should be ok.

Go and see a few CMs, nurseries and nannys then go with your gut instinct about which you prefer.

Good luck

Our dd went to a childminder from 5 months. I'm enormoulsy lucky because she is my SIL aswell, registered and loves her as much as me and dh! She looks after two other little girls on two of the four days our dd is there, takes them to various clubs, groups etc, which she loves. The only problem I have is that she doesn't want to leave on an evening!

I'm not sure what to do really- i worry that in a nursery he'll be 'neglected' in a way (not enough staff, and he's so young) but relying on one person may be more trouble than it's worth/ I haven't got a clue what's for the best.

I think you need to see your options then you will have a much better idea.

I opted for a CM because I was worried that DS would be a bit neglected as he is a very contented smily baby but the few people I have spoken to say that their babies have settled really well in nursery ( but they do all mention the bugs they get when starting)

If the sole carer issue is worrying you why
don't you meet some CMs and ask if they know any other CMs who could cover any odd days or holidays ? This is the arrangement I have set up ( although in theory as not back at work yet) and it could be that the CM you pick knows another CM who doesn't want another full time mindee but would like the occasional extra one.

Also talk to your neighbours and join a mother & toddlers group. Ask who looks after their children and if they are happy with them. Once I joined Mothers & toddlers I met another CM who I would also be happy leaving my DS with if I hadn't already made arrangements.

good luck

Also think about if you're going to have other children. We knew a no. 2 would come soon after a number 1 and then a number 3 and that that would mean paying one person in our house to look after them would be the cheapest option.

I used a nursery at first and it was a nightmare and ended up with me giving up work. Dd was sick so often, dh travelled away a lot for work and we just had no back up plan for emergencies, no family near by and all of our friends worked (e.g. in my first month back at work, she was off nursery for 2 WEEKS because of an eye infection ggrrr).

If I could do it all again, I'd have gone for a nanny especially, as Xenia says, once you have more than one, nursery becomes very expensive and the cost of the nanny doesn't increase by the same amount.

I think a big factor in considering child care is what sort of jobs you and dh have (e.g. do you have to travel) and what sort of emergency back up you have (family around). Lots of our friends managed with nurseries but lots of them had family who could step in for the days where the child was poorly but not that sick (iyswim) or had the type of jobs where they weren't expected to be the other side of the UK by 9.30!

I think i'm going to go for a childminder. I've rung the council to get a list of registered minders and nurseries.

I've been trying to think what things i'll need to check with a childminder:

Discipline policy
Hours
Fees
What activities they do
Food

Can anyone think of anything else i need to check with them?

NURSERY - goes for 5 days a week 8am-4.30pm, he went there from 5.5months and loves it. Always happy and smiling, the girls are brilliant with him, he's in an excellent routine.. the only down is that i dont spend as much time as i'd like - however it does mean that at the weekends he gets played with endlessly!

oh and he gets every bug going... but i work on the theory that he needs to build up his immune system therefore it'll make him stronger when older. (prob a load of shite but i believe it!)

Mine go to a nursery just in the morning. It's not a day nursery, it's just a sessional private nursery that is open from 9 till 1pm.

Reasons:

I don't like day nurseries personally - to me they have a horrible 'institution' atmosphere. There are too many people and they don't seem to have a friendly, personal approach. They smell like hospitals (this ime anyway, I looked at a few but I'm sure people will tell you the opposite - it's just my view).

I didn't want a childminder because I didn't want them focused on just one other adult and I would rather they mixed with a wider group of children.

I like the nursery mine go to because it's run in really nice, warm, carpeted rooms attached to a church. It's a lovely atmosphere in there. The women are all older mums and they are just so warm, friendly and 'mummy like'. They don't wear those awful tabard things or uniforms like they do in day nurseries. It's very relaxed. They Ofsted inspected etc but they are not pushy about reading adn writing etc - it's a very laid back approach which I like (plenty of time for everything else in school). If I need to put them in extra mornings I can just turn up and it's never a problem. They do Spanish twice a week. Oooh lots of things - I love it and, most importantly, the kids love it.