working mothers who pay for childcare...

[DetentionGrrrl]

What do you have? eg childminder, nanny, nursery?

What positives / negatives do you have?

Am back in work in March for 4 days a week- DS will be about 9mths old. Unsure what to do

Feel free to have a look at my website for an idea of what childminders offer, some may offer more, some less but it should give you a rough idea. HTH

my website

the link doesn't seem to work for me

I work full time and dd stays with my mum who is a registered childminder. However, she had to have 2 operations and have 2 sets of 3 months off. Therefore I had to find 2 different childminders. I made sure I visited several so I could make comparisons and I only chose those who I felt completely comfortable with. I knew instantly when I walked in and started talking to them that I could trust them and dd was very happy with both of them. Don't even consider them if you have any doubts.

The positive side is that they only look after a few children and get lots of attention. The negative side is that when the childminder is ill you have to take time off work. I had to use up 2 weeks holiday in the first 2 weeks of last year due to the childminder being ill. It was a real pain but I had no one else to leaver her with.

I used a childminder for both of mine from 6 months until they were over 3 - the same childminder for both actually as we loved her so much. She was so wonderful with them and became a real friend as well. She always had 2-3 other children in her care so mine got the chance to socialise with other children while still getting much more personal attention than they would have at nursery. It was a great choice for us and if I ever had another (which I won't BTW!) I would definitely go for a childminder again.

The ONLY drawback was that if she was sick (or if one of her own kids had a D&V bug or something else very contagious) then I had no childcare for the day - unlike a nursery.

Check if she expects paid holidays - some do, some don't there's no strict guidelines either way. Mine was very upfront about the fact that she expected 4 weeks paid holiday a year and she always gave me plenty of notice when they would be. She also got paid when we were on holiday. The only time she didn't get paid was if she cancelled due to illness. Some of my friends thought this was a bit of a liberty but to be honest I've never met anyone I would trust more and it was worth every damn penny!

DD went to childminder from 2 years and she was lovely and DS went to a nursery from 20 months - they are both doing great and I have no complaints about either of them - well other than sometimes I had to change work schedules etc for the childminder but the nursery was always there and always open regardless if one was ill or on holiday.

Although I had no problems with the childminder I think DS needed a firmer hand and think he could have would a one childminder round his little finger whereas as nursery he goes along with the rest of the kids and is generally about a billion times better bahved than when he is at home.

Thanks guys, that's really helpful- i'll check re holidays and sickness too.

My work are very family friendly, so if she were sick a day or two would be fine i think.

I feel a bit less weepy now (i stopped b/feeding at New Year..hormones maybe?! )

Hi DetentionGrrrl
I was quite weepy when going back too - I stopped b/feeding a few weeks before too, and that's quite a wrench, as well as the hormones. But once I could see how happy DS was at nursery I was fine. I think all kids are different & all nurseries/childminders/ nannies are different so there isn't really a 'best' for all people, it's more a case of finding the right fit for your child. On the 'not bonding with a special person' front - my DS
has a very close bond with his keyworker at nursery. Luckily I'm glad of it - I like to think that he's with someone he loves during the day. Also he's very sociable and loves being with other kids and has LOTS of energy, so nursery is right for him. It might not be right for a more shy & retiring little soul. I'd look at lots of different places, interview lots of people & don't 'settle for something' - you have to be sure in your gut that it's right. I'd say that your gut feeling is far more reliable than asking all the right questions.

sorry try this hth

Have used childminders and nurseries. Prefer childminders, especially for babies, as I like a home atmosphere and just one adult for them to get to know well.

well, there's ONE registered childminder local enough for it to be practical. I'm contacting her Monday- i hope to god she's nice and has a vacancy for George, because otherwise i don't know if i can go back to work at all. Nurseries are the other side of town, and too expensive.

She was probably only trying to make me feel better, but my GP told me the first time DS was off nursery sick that they either go through that phase when they go to nursery or when they start school - so take your pick! If you choose nursery (or even childminder with several other children) it would be wise to reckon on being off work with sick DC for 3 of the first 6 weeks - they all seem to go through it.

Hi , have also used registered childminder since DD was 8 months old , lovely older irish lady who has childminded for 30 years, its like a second home to her my DD is now 5 and can honestly hardly ever remember my childminder having maybe 3 or 4 days sick in that time she generally take 2 weeks summer break and a week at xmas , she trats my dd great with easter eggs birthday and xmas presents and takes the children out each day does plently of activity's at home with them , all the children who have gone to her are all very happy and confident she has also been never fazed when my dd has been under the weather like at some nurseries when you have to come and get them straight away. I think I have been very lucky but would recommend Childminders also

sorry haven't read all thread.

With any home-based childcare (cm or nannyshare) the key question I have learned is -

would I want to spend X hours a day here myself, doing these things, with these people?

If not, walk away.

DS spent 2 weeks with a childminder at 10 months. She was lovely, cheap and the location was OK. She gave all the right answers to questions. But it was winter and they didn't do much going outside. She had lots of older children around before and after school, and they weren't very nice to ds as they were tired and crotchety . There was older kids' tv on constantly at these times, and a lot at other times. She also had a lot of adult friends coming to the house - I had no problems with any of them individually, nor did I think it was intrinsically unsafe - she was always there. But I felt the house was like a railway station and ds was having to meet a lot of strangers, which was exactly what I wanted to avoid with a cm. Also I loathed her decor and her heavy use of air freshener - ds smelled weird at the end of each day. I told myself off for being snobbish about this, but that's what I mean about seeing if it is a house you would like to spend time in. If it isn't, you are going to be miserable thinking about your child being there.

I spent a week trying to persuade myself it would be OK, gave notice for a week and spent a week off work sorting out something else.

I was lucky enough to find a nanny-share very locally and that has been perfect from 10 months to now, and as far as I can see it will continue to be perfect for another year at least. The time off requirements for the nanny are hard - I need several layers of backup for these days, but I have those layers (dh, granny 1, granny 2, key close friend) and to me personally, it has been worth it.

Not hugely cheaper than a nursery, but more flexible on the things I care about, and I think probably more continuity than I would have got from a nursery - although that's more of a factor of this particular nanny, who is very settled with her primary employer.

I work 3 days a week and DS (3.1) and DD (15 months) go to a childminder (actually two childminders - mother and daughter).

Postives

• DS and DD love going there
• they are in the same environment rather than being separated as they would be at nursery
• it really feels like a family atmosphere; they have a DS (2) and DD (8 months) who like DS and DD being there as well
• it is in our village so when I am working at home, easier to get them
• they are able to take DS to pre-school and when he starts at school will be able to do that as well

Negatives

• can be a problem when I can't leave work on time (work staggered hours approx 50 miles away) or I am away as DH has to suffle things round. This could be solved by having a nanny, but then there would be no money which would rather defeat the object of my working. And we do manage to sort things out.

When there was just DS, he went to a nursery which I was also very happy with. DD was briefly there and it was then I realised how them being together was important to me. Also, we used to live in the same town as the nursery, but moved before DD was born (about 15 min drive, but it all adds up) and so having childcare where we are is good.

DTS have been going to nursery since they were 7 months old (now 2years and 10months) for 3 days a week.

Positives
Close to home and on the way to work
Secure environment and I know that no strangers will have access to them
Fresh home cooked meals on site
They have key workers assigned but they know all the nursery nurses.
Range of activities and lots and lots of play
Group environment so plenty of social interaction and group activities
Nursery is strong and consistent with routines and discipline
They fill in their book with details on what they ate and when, toilet habits (dry, wet or soiled and times), nap times, what they did that day, time spent in garden and games played, highlight problems etc
They helped with the potty training
The fees include everything except nappies.

Negatives
Three days a week costs £980 a month (this is with a 10% sibling discount and use of nursery vouchers) - it's worth every penny though

It is oversubscribed and there is a long waiting list(which is good) but it means that there is no spare capacity so impossible to swap days, particularly as I have two. For example, I provided 6 weeks notice of one day I wanted to swap - they could do it for one child but not both. Now I don't even ask.

DTS love going. They run in, start playing and ignore me when I endeavour to bid them farewell

Another positive I forgot to mention is that the nursery is open all year round except for bank holidays.

I work 3 days a week. Until DD went to school in September she went to nursery 2 days a week, and in the last year 2.5 days a week (her own request to do extra half day on one of my days off). She started going at about 5 months.

DD went to two different nurseries. One till she was just over 2. Moved because of changes in my job. Then second from age 2-4.5 years.

Both nurseries were great, the second especially so. Both were private, and I chose both on gut instinct, rather than on basis of loads of questions. DD thrived in both and had a wondefful time. we never had a single day where she cried about going or about being left. She loved it and I would definitely recommend day nurseries from our experience.

I didn't use a childminder as I had no personal recommendatins for one. With a baby especially I felt this was veyr important. I also, if honest, didn't want to leave my child under the care of just one person I didn;t know very well as I felt (rightly or wrongly) that the risk for things to go wrong, and the disadvantages of relying on just one person, were not for me. Maybe once the child is ld enough to speak out and tell you about their day I'd have been more willing to go for a CM I didn't know, but not before.

I'm going to use a nursery for dd2 (1) and an au pair for dd1 (6). We have a good local nursery which will keep her stimulated and safe. DD1 went there and she could read by the time she started shcool and i certainly didn't teach her!!
dd1 is at school so we will get an au pair. We have had them before and it has worked well. Just have to be careful who you get and obviosuly they can only babysit the tiny one not care for her.

My daughter is at a surestart centre nursery, and I wouldn't swap it for nanny/childminder.

I feel that she is in a safe environment, lots of activities, with staff focused on doing stuff with the kids (rather than talking on the phone/ putting them in front of a TV set, etc.)

Basically, I feel that in a nursery, staff keep an eye not only on the kids but also on each other and that is a huge bonus. They can't 'get lazy' with the kids and start trying to get their own life sorted at the same time (phone, email, TV, etc.)

Also, as they get older, the soical aspect is important.

Havign said that, if you find a nanny/childminder that you KNOW and fully TRUST, and in particular if your child is scared of large groups or is very young, the latter might work for you. But, for me, nursery is definitely the best.

a good childminder is invaluable,imo, especially for very young children, but check them out and talk to other parents.

I have never used a nursery, and mine are at school now, so my cm only picks them up from school and has them for an hour after school now, but I wouldn't change a thing.

I should point out that my cm never used the TV, always played with the children, doing cooking, playdoh, outside activities, lots of walks and arts and crafts - she is wortth her wieght in gold, but obviously, not all cm's are the same!

The only experience I have of nurseries was not very complimentary, in particular too many very young inexperienced staff, but they are not all the same. you really do need to do some research to find what will work for you.

I would suggest childminer at first as he is quite young, progressing to nursery later (about 2 - 2.6) as he will want company of other children by then, and nursery gets them ready for school. I had a lovely childminder for the first year, but it was always on the understanding that he would be going to nursery eventually. And it is not set in stone, you can change your mind if you don't think it is working. Most important thing is to go with your gut instinct every time. You will have one about it already.

Or childminder even!

Childminder, not childminer!

my childminder took my dd's to the local preschool for me on the days I worked (I still paid her for the time they were there, but it solved the getting ready for school issue) that worked really well and kept up the continuity, which, if you are a working mum is vital