Panicking about 9 week olds bedtimes here!!! Will i ever get it sorted?

[cruisemum1]

OK, here goes, I have 9 week old ds who has started to sleep around 9 hrs at night from about 9pm - 6am (ish) then we get up, get dressed etc. and take dd to school. ds usually falls asleep about 8am (ish) - nap length varies daily. QUESTION....If I were to put ds to bed earlier - he is usually tired by 7ish, would he then wake 9 hrs later and expect to start the day? Or would he just fall asleep cossa the silent feeding in the dark thing? I really want to take the plunge but I'm scared of having a smiling, cooing baby at 4am! Help!!!!!!!!!

Don't stress and tbh don't rush for a routine...DD fell into her own routine from about 6 weeks BUT that still involved night feeds for quite a while longer..it also involved some night not going to bed until around 11, 12, 1am etc but what do you expect with a newborn..?

DD (17 months) now sleeps from 7pm till 8/9am BUT yes she does still wake at 4am at times or 7/8 am but she knows whats acceptable for mum and dad iykwim.

Sure if its 7/8am and we know she is still tired ie not making noise but is "chatting" or makes "sleepy" noises then she either goes off herself or we offer her a dummy.

If she wakes at 4am (unless ill etc) then she knows she has no chance of mum and dad getting up so we usually just go in and settle. TBH we have a dd who is very good and who atm doesn't give us many sleep problems.

I would give it a god and try bed at 7am and see how you go..for a few nights you may have a baby wide awake at 4am but you may not...either way baby will soon come to realise when its bed time iykwim. BUT don't stress about routine..baby is still quite young well..imho. good luck xx

Cruisemum1

It has more to do with the total hours of sleep a day.

You could try it once and see if it works. However it is likely he will wake up earlier. I used to just feed ds back to sleep that time in the morning, meaning do not switch on lights etc. However, it will mean you need to get up to feed him.

I think if it aint broke don't fix it. iyswim.

Quite frankly you are amazingly lucky to have him sleeping for 9 hours at that age. I would imagine that if you put him to bed earlier he is likely to want a night feed, maybe try pushing it back by half an hour and see what happens.

Thanks for responses - all very much appreciated. I reckon he may drift back off after feeding as he is often quite sleepy, but I wonder if he would be able to sleep for 3-4 hrs until 6 or 7. Like you said Shhh - he is still so young - it's just I have this 'in a routine by 12weeks' mantra playing in my head! My dd (age 8.5yrs) didn't night feed at 9 weeks and slept through by 11 wks.The thing is i cannot remember how I did it! Bedtimes are a bit noisier this time round too and I don't want to neglect dd while I do the bedtime thing with ds. Sorry to ramble but I'm finding the whole thing rather confusing!
Rookie and M2FD - I don't mind the waking for feeding thing but just confused as to what step to take next, Maybe the gradual earlier bed time would work.

Try bringing his bedtime forward by 10 minutes every couple of days, perhaps. But I agree that you're amazingly lucky to have a baby who sleeps for such a long period at that age!!

Nine hours solid sleep? At 9 weeks? I didn't even finish reading your thread I'm so jealous/optimistic/shocked!!

littlemonkey'smum - don't be jealous - the whole bedtime thing has gone to rat these last two nights. Lst night he fell asleep at 11:35pm and was awake again at 5:15am! Maybe that ws just a taster of how things could be.... . Mind you he has been full of smiles to day so I'm hoping he doesn't thrive on only 6 hrs sleep per night!! I have decided to pull the evening routine forward gradually each evening but he has a major sucking/dozing/sucking/dozing time for about 2- 3 hours each evening - any suggestions to overcome this as I feel like a walking dummy??

Ds went to bed at about 12am most nights and up 12pm waking for feeds every couple of hours in between. He was in a terrible routine for the first 4months. He used to cry most evenings from colic, normally for about 4 hours, so got into a bad routine of going to bed late. It took me a trip to australia when he was 4months old to get him into a good routine. The flight and time difference worked to my favor. He has gone to bed at 7 every night since. He's now 14months old and sleeps through.

Don't complain that your are only getting 9 hours sleep my dd didn't sleep through the night until she was nearly two. That was a feed at 7,11 and 3am then she would be up by 7am.

Don't worry abount routine your ds is only 9weeks.

i would feed at 7pm then put dd upstairs in her cot, the feed her at 11pm put her back into her cot then i would go to bed.

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!

TyrNannyOgg - I am not looking gift horse in mouth. Just feel unsure I guess. Every one keeps asking me "is he in a routine yet?" and so I am made to feel like he should be! His daytime naps are totally erratic and often he will only do this in my arms or in his car seat. Sometimes he naps for 2 hours, sometimes on and off for 15 minute bursts. Will this settle down? As I said, his nighttimes 9 hour shifts seem to be a thing of the past as for the last three nights he has gone back to about 6 hrs then waking for feed then another 1 - 2 hrs before getting up. I am not complaining about this at all and don't mind waking for night feedings (I love the peace and togetherness of them actually) . Just wondering what is happening with other babes of similar age?

Octobermum - I was not complaining about only getting 9 hrs sleep - I was delighted!! just didn't know if I was doing things right bedtime-wise. As I said, he hasn't done the nine hour thing for 3 nights now - I'm wondering whether it was to do with growth spurt he recently had as they do say that babies have a tendency to sleep far more during them?????? Any opinions gratefully received. Anyone got any advice on daytime napping?

Cruisemum1, if anyone asks if he is in a routine, I would just say yes, he is in a routine. How do they know if its one of his choosing or yours.

Our DS at 7.5mths has his naps when he wants,as I tried to get him to have them at scheduled times but it just seemed a bit silly to put him to bed when he wasn't tired. My thoughts are that as long as he is sleeping well at night I am not unduly worried about what he is doing in the day sleep wise.

The only thing I did stick to was to wake him up if he slept during the day for more than 2 hours on the trot because then he might think it was night time. That was something in hindsight I wish I had brought in earlier as I started doing it at about 8 weeks or so. But who knows, other people may think its unnatural and cruel to wake up a sleeping baby.

Erm....Its hard to remember but I think they shouldnt be awake for longer than 3 hours at a time as they get over tired.
Try a good hour to 2 hour nap 2 hours after he wakes in the morning, then a nap every 2 to 3 hours after that untill bedtime.
how many hours does he get at night? I think he can sleep up to 18 hours in 24 and as little as 8 hours in 24. Obviously the more sleep he gets the better.

The reason for him sleeping for 30mins sometimes and 2 hours others may be a result of being up for too long. If you use the no more than 3 hours up as a guidline you may find his naps become more predictable and regular.
With ds he has no set times for his naps but I would still say he has a routine. 3 hours after he wakes he has a good long nap then he's up for the rest of the day untill bed time. He's 14months old. He sleeps from 7pm untill 8am then for about 2 hours during the day. He's getting about 15 hours sleep in 24hours. So if for some reason he goes to bed at 8pm one night and wakes the following day at 9am he will have his first nap 3 hours after that. So although the times may shift occasionally the intervals dont iyswim.

Thanks rookie and biglilbubu. I love the three hours awake then nap idea. As he is only 9 weeks he cannot stay awake that long but it sounds like a good basis for napping schedules. Also agree with the no more than 2 huours per nap (mind you I am lucky if we get up to two hours!)I have to keep reminding myself to chill and enjoy! More later - guests arriving. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!

I know a lot of people think you're doing very well now and that you should almost count your lucky starts and not try to get into a routine, but my DD was one of those in a routine by 2 weeks. She was in bed by 6:30pm, woke once at about 2ish and then slept until 7am. She slept through from 6:30 to 6:30 from 12 weeks.
I did bath, feed, bed from the start and I have had a brilliant sleeper for the last 20 months. Luck of the draw maybe? Perhaps, but all I'm saying is it can be done.
You'll also probably find that putting DS down earlier won't actually mean that he'll wake any earlier. No way you're going to find out though until you bite the bullet one night and give it a go.
I put DD to bed as soon as she showed signs of being tired. Once or twice it was even at 5:45pm and she didn't wake any earlier. The longer you try and drag them out at night, it would seem in my experience that it is harder to settle them and they don't sleep as well.
Good Luck whatever you do.

Re napping in the day - found DD was hopeless at this until she started sleeping through the night and it gradually improved until by 4 months she was sleeping at least 4 hours in a day. Still sleeps 3 hours at 20 months. Would never have believed that during her first 3 months as her naps were totally erratic and short in duration.

Jambot - that is so good to hear! DS has been an angel nap wise today . Tonight however he is being a little wotsit and won't go to sleep!!! I bend down over the cot side, hardly daring to breathe, little one so tired and asleep that even a jumbo jet landing would not awaken him. As soon as he hits the matress - PING! Eyes wide open . GRRRRR!!

Could the matress be a little cold? Could be why he wakes up as soon as you put him in the cot.
If I were you id put him in the cot, if he wakes and crys try not to pick him up straight away. Maybe just gently ssshhhh him or sing twinkle twinkle. It might work. Just be as calm and quiet as poss.

The problem is putting them down asleep. Know it's sometimes difficult to keep them awake during a feed, but you should aim to put him down sleepy but awake. This way he's aware of his environment in an awake state and not startled when suddenly moved from an upright to lying position and finding himself in bed when he remembers being in your arms. I used to feed DD, walk around singing a little song to her and then lie her down and tuck her in. She was always awake when I did this. I would tell her it was time to sleep and leave the room. In the begining she's grizzle a bit, but I'd wait a few minutes before going in because she'd often go quiet and fall asleep. If she didn't I'd go into the dark room, pat quite hard on her bottom (she always slept on her side) and do shhing. By two months I didn't have to do this and from then on she went down like a star - still does.
I also introduced a small tag blankie from a young age. It was always in with her even when she couldn't hold it. By 4 or 5 months she'd become attached to it and now it's the first thing she reaches for when I put her down to sleep.

I second what Jampot said.
Ds used to wake almost every hour for a feed. We co slept for the first 8months. It got to the point where he fed so much at night he barely had an apetite during the day for any solid food. He basically lived of milk. I tried doing pupd method as he would only fall asleep breastfeeding. It did worked well he still woke once or twice but nothing compared to before. Just before his first birthday he started to sleep through the night and get himself off to sleep. I put him to bed awake and he's quite happy to play in his cot for a bit untill he falls asleep himself. No crying.

He has a big lion teddy same size as him in his cot. He cuddles up to him when going to sleep. I think this helps him, its a comfort thing. hth

I have also left a post on September 2006 babies - growing before our eyes thread. Any help gratefully received. Getting desperate here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Biblilbubu - what do you mean by pupd method?