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Parenting

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Original poster

Dd is 2yrs 9months, do we really HAVE to potty train now? Am I leaving it late? Nursery want me to but it's ruining my week off, frankly!

35 replies

WideWebWitch · 30/08/2006 12:55

I would have left it a bit longer but dh said that dd's nursery said to him on Friday that 'they'd prefer' she was potty trained when she comes back to nursery next week. I don't think she's ready: she doesn't appear to know when she's about to go and wasn't showing any inclination, which is why I was leaving it tbh. I think if you leave it until they're ready then surely they get it faster.

But anyway, we have given it a go, bought her pants and loo seats and told her to tell us when she wants a wee etc. I've asked her a few times and she always says no. She won't let me lift her onto the loo, she's miss 'I DO IT!' She hasn't once told me she wants the loo and has had 2 accidents today. I'm fed up with it and it's only a matter of time before we have poo on the floor imo. Plus this is my one week off with them before the school holidays end and I feel worried sbout going anywhere since we could have accidents at any time. Nappies are easier from that pov. So:

Should I go back to nappies and leave it a bit?
Or should I perseverse and stay in the rest of the week?
Or should I just realise I have to take 3 bags of bloody clothes everywhere and wipes etc?
Is she too old to leave it?

All opinions appreciated. Thanks. She's 3 at the v end of November btw.

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NotQuiteCockney · 30/08/2006 12:57

I'd leave it. She doesn't sound ready. (And I don't think "when nursery say they'd like her trained" is a valid estimate of when a child is ready!)

motherinferior · 30/08/2006 12:57

Hmmm: I have to say DD1 was around that age when her childminder informed me she was Ready (I had no views whatsoever on the matter) and she did get it, v quickly...

Nemo1977 · 30/08/2006 12:57

its not up to the nursery when she is trained. If she was really ready you would have known. Ds is 3 in oct and be trained since jan but that was his choice not mine as had not long had dd. She isnt too old to leave it[I dont think anyway]

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SpaceCadet · 30/08/2006 12:57

shes not ready...leave it for now...the nursery may prefer she was potty trained, but if shes not ready..its tough.

motherinferior · 30/08/2006 12:58

Thing is, life is so much more immeasurably better when they have got it, I find.

Polgara2 · 30/08/2006 13:00

I would leave it, if you try and force her before she's ready it will be incredibly hard and take longer and be upsetting for both of you imo. I left both my dd's a bit longer than this and they caught on quickly because they were ready. Anyhow its up to you NOT the nursery!!

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/08/2006 13:04

Poo on floor since I posted. and now she's screaming at the idea of going back into nappies. Might try to persuade her that pull ups are the thing, which is ds's brilliant idea.

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motherinferior · 30/08/2006 13:05

Ach, yes, just forget it. Too horrid.

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/08/2006 13:06

I wish I'd stuck to my instincts, which are that she's not ready and nursery should shut tf up. Thanks for these posts, I think we need to go and buy pull ups and see if we leave it a bit again.

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edam · 30/08/2006 13:06

I'd leave it too - my ds is 3 and a month and is nowhere near getting it yet. He's OK at nappy free time when his potty is nearby, will happily go and get on the potty or even climb on the loo, but as soon as I put him in pants, he wees or poos. His nanny tried going cold turkey a while back and got the same result. I am trying not to be anxious about it!

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/08/2006 13:07

Thanks, with ds I left it until I KNEW he was ready and it was v painless, he got it within a few days.

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bundle · 30/08/2006 13:07

i never even contemplated it until both my dd's were around 2 yrs 10 mths..then it happened pretty quickly esp with dd2 who trained herself in 2 days (off nursery with conjunctivitis..)

nutcracker · 30/08/2006 13:09

I'd leave it, it's not up to nursery.

Perhaps in a few weeks try again and let nursery try at the same time, that way she'll have everyone singing frmo the same sheet and it might work.

It rarely works if you doing it to a deadline.

oliveoil · 30/08/2006 13:13

DD1 had to be potty trained at 2.6 to go to the playgroup so I trained her just before, got it in about 2 days or so with LOTS of pee and poo accidents, grrrrrrrrrrr

BUT when we went out and about, she had pull ups on, no way was I skidding about in a pool of pee in the middle of Asda with dd2 about 5 months old, wailing in the pram as well, no sirree

'they' say it confuses them to use pull-ups but with dd1 it worked, I could ask every 2 mins if she wanted to go, sometimes it worked, and if it didn't, no mess, just change the pull up!

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/08/2006 13:17

I've just had to wrestle her back into a nappy, which she is determined to get off again.

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Hayls · 30/08/2006 13:18

I've just trained dd and foudn that nursery really helped. For a while she was having no accidents at nursery but missing every time at home- think seeing the other children helped encourage her. They took over in a way and she is now fully trained- went straight onto toilet and wearing pants. In saying that though I do believe she was ready and if you don't think your dd is then there is no way I would let nursery dictate to you. However, if you do decide to go for it I would enjoy your week off and let them help out next week!

bundle · 30/08/2006 13:19

you could try "special times" when nappy comes off (try on a doll or teddy too) - when visit loo, and heap on praise when nappy/pullup is dry/unsoiled (as opposed to going cold turkey with no nappy)

harpsichordcarrier · 30/08/2006 13:20

no, she's not ready. go back to nappies.
in no way is she too old.
it is like saying - my 14 month old isn't walking - shall I force her to, because otherwise she will be too old.
imo.
dd1 did not potty train ill after she was three and she was ready and we had NO accidents (seriously) and she was dry at night within a week.
Since when she has wet the bed once only (in four months).
leave it, seriously, and come back to it.

FourJays · 30/08/2006 13:27

We did this with ds1, again and again and again....
In the end he just came up to me one day, after he was three and said he wanted to use the toilet like a big boy. And he did. And that was it!

I do get cross at bossy nurseries. Forgive me, but aren't you paying them?

scotlou · 30/08/2006 13:34

If nuresry want her trained - let them do it!!

FourJays · 30/08/2006 13:36

Too right!

moondog · 30/08/2006 13:37

Hmm,I'm aheartless bruteabout nappies and whip 'em off once baby is vaguely self aware {hate nappieseven more than that fecking pushchair}but as it is your holiday andyou seem to work your titsoff,I'd let it go for now.

{Alsothink it it dreadful to get nursery to do thepotty training.I'veseen lots of people do that in ds's nursery and feel it really Isn't On}

SherlockLGJ · 30/08/2006 13:39

She is your child.

You train her when you and she are ready.

Do not let someone else dictate to you.

NAB3 · 30/08/2006 13:40

I would tell nursery she isn't ready and you don't appreciate being told what to do with your own child, just to fit in with what suits them!

Original poster

WideWebWitch · 30/08/2006 13:40

I know, I know, I'm not usually a wimp about these things, I don't know what came over me! Thanks everyone. I'm going to tell them next week that we tried, she's not ready and they will have to jolly well wait. Thanks everyone, I feel v reassured (even MIL was saying 'aren't you going to do it soon? Are YOU GOING TO CLEAN Up the wee, MIL, are you? Are you?)
Good idea about special no nappy times. She is now asleep on the sofa, with a nappy on and I'm hoping I can just distract her this afternoon so we all forget about it.

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