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Original poster

how you cope with an under 1yr old and find you are pregnant again

27 replies

shellybelly · 03/04/2006 09:33

reason i'm asking is dh and I were caught in the moment last week and it was around my most fertile time (did my research!) anyway already have a 9mth old and I would be happy if i was pregnant but how hard is it if you already have a young baby, any words of wisdom please and be brutally honest if you need to

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Bobalina · 03/04/2006 10:12

I was pregnant again 8 weeks after havind DD1. DD2 is now 18months. In all honesty, I found the hardest part the pregnancy. I was sick and I was H U G E! It's bloody hard running around and picking up 9 month old all day. Once I had DD2, I was so relieved to not be pregnant that the first few months were a breeze. She was also a very good baby (but she had to be). DD1 still took up most of my time and the baby had to make do (sad but true). Now DD2 is 18m it is hard in some ways and not in others. They fight ALL the time, they want the same toys at the same time and activities like baking etc are a no no as its too much like hard work. But, I wouldn't change it for the world. They do play beautifully together at times and are constantly kissing and holding hands. I also I feel it has greatly benefitted my shy and introvert DD1. DD2 is totally different in character and has made DD1 much more outgoing IMO. Good luck if you are indeed pregnant and remember it will be worth it in the end.

happybebe · 03/04/2006 13:15

i fell pregnant again when my son was just 5 months old, accidentaly because of antibiotics from my dentist! i was devestated at first as really wanted to focus on my son but gradually i cam round to the idea! i am now seven months pregnant and aside from being a little more tired than usual being pregnant and having a one year old has not been an issue :)

Kathy1972 · 03/04/2006 13:39

Shellybelly, thanks for posting this as I've been wondering exactly the same thing - I have recently found out I'm pg (planned, but a bit surprised to have it happen so fast IYKWIM) and I have a 9 month dd so I am wondering how it's all going to work out. It's so hard to know what a 9 month old is going to be like when she's 18 monthis - just can't imagine!
Bobalina's post is very encouraging

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Original poster

shellybelly · 03/04/2006 13:43

congratulations kathy tbh i'm secretly hoping i am, dh and I agreed we would try again this year but we are going to be either moving/extending and I had wanted to wait till that was over but what will be will be i suppose

OP posts:

schneebly · 03/04/2006 13:45

ds1 was 9 months old when i found out i was pg again and early pregnancy was hard work as i was soo tired but after that it was okay until the last few weeks when i found ds1 hard work but he was only 17 months when ds2 was born and it has been great - no jealousy etc. They are now 2.5 and 1 and are always making each other laugh and I am sure they will be close as they grow up together. Good luck and I hope you get the result you want.

gigglinggoblin · 03/04/2006 13:46

i got pg when ds1 was 9 months, i think its far easier having a small gap than a large one (ds2 was 4 when i had ds3). it is hard work, you have to let your standards slip occasionally with things like housework, amount of tv you want the older one to watch etc but it is well worth it. mine also fight but are great friends usually.

i found the best piece of equipment for the early days is a sling as you can carry db2 around while entertaining db1 to keep them both happy. it also means you dont have to buy a double buggy (awful things!)

find out about toddler groups etc in your area and start going now, its too easy to spend all day in your pjs unless you have a plan!

bourneville · 03/04/2006 13:47

My sis is 18 months younger than me. I think my mum had a tough time in our younger days but what's come out of it is the strongest sibling relationship i've ever come across, being so close in age.
I would have thought another benefit is getting it all over with quickly. I have a dd 2.7 and a boyf who i may settle down with in a few years, I do want a another child with him but the thought of going through those baby years again having got my life back a bit does horrify me!

Pagan · 03/04/2006 13:48

DD was 7.5 months when I became pregnant again. I was delighted coz wanted them in quick succession coz I was older but it was hard work. She is now 2.6 and he is 14 months and they are both in nappies. I'm pretty tired a lot of the time as DS didn't sleep through until he was a year old. My back was knackered from picking them both up. For me, if I could have changed anything I would have met DH earlier so I was younger when starting a family then I could've had a nice age gap of about 3 in between them but still, no point in worrying about it now. They are both healthy, happy and cute as ninepence. On the plus side though, things do get easier as they get older and they will be the best of friends.

beetroot · 03/04/2006 13:48

you just get o niwth it. Happeneidn to me twice..and it is exhausitng but you have to make your priroty rest!

SparklyGothKat · 03/04/2006 13:49

I fell pregnant with dd2 when dd1 was 9 months old, I cried for ages, but I loved her when I saw her for the first time. she was born 2 months early, that was hard because I had a 3 year old and a 15 month old at home too.

magicfarawaytree · 03/04/2006 14:20

i personally think it has been much easier in the beginning - 14 and then 18 month gap. It gets trickier as they get old because there are many times it is like having twins of differing learning abilities. But definitely better for play etc as they get old, can do similar things etc. it is such a personal choice - The thing that will probably cause stress will be the retarded judgemental comments that you may find you get for having small age gap but dont get me started..

GDG · 03/04/2006 14:23

Hard but perfectly manageable.

Ds1 was 10 months when I got pg with ds2.
Ds1 was 2.8 and ds2 was 12 months when I got pg with ds3.

The hardest part is feeling like crap at teh beginning of your pg but beign unable to relax with toddler(s) and the end bit of pg when you are massive, uncomfortable or even in pain but still have toddlers to lift in and out of the car etc.

Once the baby is born I didn't find it too much of a problem tbh. Younger toddlers seem to just accept the changes adn get on with it - I never had any issues.

peaches27 · 19/04/2006 21:13

The lady who lived in the house at the end of our garden had two girls roughly the same age as mine, and they were approx 11 months apart. She seemed to manage it very easily and the girls were very close, maybe two close at times, as the youngest was very reliant on the oldest and there were a few probs at playgroup and nursery. However, once they started school it was easy as they were in the same class! (Bear this in mind as it has a downside too!).
She thought this was such a good way to raise kids that when the first two got to full time school she had another two with a similar age gap.

I used to look out the kitchen window and think she was childminding because they kept increasing!

Goldfish · 19/04/2006 21:32

I fell when ds1 was 7 months old. I was b/f and never had a period, but got pg anyway so bf whhile pregnant. All I remember is feeling exhausted as dh works away 2 weeks at a time, but I got through it and used to love taking them out in the summer in their double buggy. They are 11 and 12 now and although argue quite frequently are also great company for each other and it has been easy with holidays and the like as they are so close, and tend to go and do things together. I wouldn't change it for the world, just wish I could stop time so they don't get any older!

Miaou · 19/04/2006 21:39

I was pg with dd2 when dd1 was 8 months. For me the first trimester is the worst part of the pregnancy, and I did find it very hard for the first three months. However, once I got over the morning sickness and the extreme tiredness I was fine.

Bear in mind also (if your experience is anything like mine) that although it is very hard work initially, it becomes much easier in the years to follow - my dds are 8 and 7 now and I have found them a breeze for the last 5 or so years! Siblings close together can work really well

PinkTulips · 19/04/2006 21:40

fell pregnant with bump when dd was 9 months, bf-ing and no AF since birth so didn't realise for a while, thought she was just wearing me into the ground! delighted that they'll be close in age though, was an only child myself and really want my kids to be friends.

my cousin and his wife hae taken things to the other extrme though, dd1 was 11 months when dd2 was born, dd2 was 15 months when ds was born and ds is 6 months and shes pregnant again! they seem to love it though.

BTW, is there something especially fertile about us 9 months after birth? that seems to be the time most of us conceived!

jenkel · 19/04/2006 22:19

I found out I was pregnant 1 month before dd,s 1st birthday. The pregnancy was tough, I was bigger and was carrying a 1 1/2 year old round with me, my back is shot to pieces. The first 6 months were probably the hardest, but I love it now, with a 3 1/2 year old and 2 year old. They are so close, both girls, play really nicely together. And because DD1 was only 18 months when her sister was born there was no jealousy.

juuule · 19/04/2006 22:51

Think it depends on how you feel about it. I became pg when ds1 was 3y4m and ds2 was 7m. I was delighted. When dd1 was born ds1 was 4y1m and ds2 was 16m. Would carry ds2 sat on top of my bump. Felt the same when ds3 was born 15m after dd1 .

finefatmama · 08/05/2006 01:38

bump

Alipiggie · 08/05/2006 02:34

Fell pregnant with ds2 when ds1 was 8mnths. Very hard work for the first year, but boy is it worth it now. I was lucky as pregnancy two was a breeze, no sickness and ds1 was easily persuaded that afternoon naps were a good thing :o. They play like twins and in fact everyone always asks me if they are twins. Congratulations. Wonderful news.

Jasnem · 08/05/2006 07:20

I was pregnant when dd1 was 6 months. Once I realised and stopped bf, I found I was less tired, and moe able to cope. The first year after dd2 was born was very hard , but she was not an easy baby. It has lots of plus points, and I wouldn't change it though. Good luck.

throckenholt · 08/05/2006 07:40

I have 18 months betwen DS1 and my twins. I had just about go to the end of breastfeeding by the 12 week scan when I was told twins - so gave up then .

The worst bit while pregnant was the tiredness. In the early days I would sleep when DS had his naps, and sometimes sleep on the settee while DS1 bimbled around the living room - made sure all the doors were shut first.

Now at 3 and 4.5 they generally play together well (some fighting) and life is pretty good.

Original poster

shellybelly · 08/05/2006 07:50

unfortunately not to be just yet but will keep trying

OP posts:

throckenholt · 08/05/2006 08:21

your time will come :)

Xavielli · 08/05/2006 08:39

I agree with Bobalina, the pregnancy is the hardest part. I was fine in the beginning, no sickness or anything so I was hard to remember I was pregnant. Ds was 6 months when I fell pregnant with Dd.

Watching him learn to crawl, first word and walk really made the pregnancy go faster as I was too interested in these things to dwell on the pregnancy too much. Last few weeks were harder by far than these first few with Dd too. My son just plays around and doesnt even notice the baby is there unless I hold her so she hasnt been unduely prodded and poked by him.

Also, I think it helps the older child to be more aware of their actions. they have to be gentle to the baby and that is a good thing for them to learn

Like all aspects of parenting, if something like this comes up you just deal with it.

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