Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

AM I AN EVIL MUM?

210 replies

cheekymonk · 07/03/2006 15:58

I just wanted to ask what is the worst thing someone has done to their child. Sometimes I think about how I am and hate how I am with my little boy. I tell him to shut up alot, swear loads-usually not at him but under my breath but worst of all out of frustration I purse his cheeks together sometimes (not really hard) or slightly pinch his legs. Yesterday I even kicked him on the bum slightly which has sickened me ever since. I have finally realised that I am having trouble coping and that my behaviour is not acceptable. I am so ashamed. I want to be Mary Poppins but feel like Cruella de Vil. What can I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
collision · 08/04/2006 12:44

So, you have never used MN before and you just came on with a strange name and began posting on this thread?

Search under current messages and you have only posted today!

Weird.

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 12:45

what difference would it make what name i have!
i am entitled to an opinion&to me thats abuse,if i had a nanny&they did this to my child i would get the police so why is it ok for a mother to,also another post admitted to throwing water in babys face&yelling in his face,god i think thats awfull-MY OPINION

collision · 08/04/2006 12:49

but have you read the whole thread?

Do you really think her child should be taken away from her? She was suffering from depression. She needed help not prison!!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/04/2006 13:01

collision, stop feeding it and it will go away Grin

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 13:05

i think her child should be atken until she has made a full recovery yes

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 13:10

truth hurts doesnt it?
but so does child abuse/baby abuse
scarrs for life

notasheep · 08/04/2006 13:12

I work for Social Services-you havenet got a clue as your not for real

notasheep · 08/04/2006 13:14

if you are for real then you could always come to a Child protection Conference with me.

Cheekymonk-Well Done on being positive and dealing with all this stuff

4blue1pink · 08/04/2006 13:15

Areyouperfect areyouforreal?

arfissimeau · 08/04/2006 13:22

As far as I can see, CM is somebody who had a problem and was a brave enough person to deal with it.

You on the other hand appear to be an illiterate trouble maker who takes pleasure in kicking somebody when they are down.

Congratulations. You must be really proud of yourself.

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 13:36

ok so im in the wrong for not abusing my baby so sorry,iam for real thanks

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 13:42

tell me what is so wrong in me recognising that what happend to the "baby" was wrong&that the baby should be taken away while the mother recovers,if you are for real&work for ss then why let this happen then when it goes further theres an investigation as to why when ss knew the mother had a problem the child wasnt protected

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 13:44

4blue1pink answer to your question i am far from perfect but would never harm a baby,my babies have got me to the end of my tether many days to the point iam in tears but harm them NEVER

footiemad · 08/04/2006 13:49

nannyme. Can i join your fan club?Grin

Good luck CM Smile

Tortington · 08/04/2006 14:02

areyouforreal, i think you must have misread the post. i am sorry you feel no compassion for a truly wonderful mother who recognised she had a problem and with the truly wonderful support of mumsnetters has resolved to have a fabulous life with her child.

I for one cannot even compare this to putting a child into care.

i think you and MMM will find that no-one is condoning her actions towards her child but rather they are supporting someone who recognised she needed help and offered that help to her.

i am truly sorry you have no compassion and i envy you your life to have such conviction behind you thoughts. i am truly glad that you never had to suffer the disliking of your own child, a child so small who needs you so utterly and is so very dependant on you. i am glad you are able to cope so tremendously with your 4 children. i am sorry yet happy that you cannot empathise with such a situation.

for what its worth cheekymonk ( if you come back) i think you truly must be a wonderful person to recognise your depression and act to make things better. So many people ( me included) ignore great problems and prefer to wallow in self pity. You on the other hand have made a start to repair the relationship with your child and to become an even greater mother and person. i have the utmost respect for you. well done

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 14:22

as far as im concerned the matter is closed,ive said what i neede to&im hoping you all dont have to one day say i wish i spoke up about that abused baby

gscrym · 08/04/2006 14:40

Cheekymonk, I know this might sound like a difficult and time consumming thing to do but have you also tried keeping a diary of how things go each day. My mum had anxiety and depression, she wasn't able to eat (things had gone way too far) so the AD's the doc gave her made her horribly sick so she discontinued them. She got a referral to a psychologist who asked her to keep a diary of how things were going. She filled it in before she went to bed each night. The main reason was that when things seemed really bad to her, she could check back and see if there was anything comparible. She says it was a great help. She ended up in hospital anyway, like I said before, things had really went too far.

Anyway, if you kept a diary, along with AD's, you could look back and see how you are improving and hopefully that what you would think is a bad day now, isn't as bad as things used to be.

Also get in touch with the Navy. They may be able to offer some help as there are bound to be others in your position. Before my mum had depression, she was a social worker and some of her clients were navy wives in exactly the same position as you.

Sorry I rambled a bit.

happybebe · 08/04/2006 14:45

areyouforreal you said what you needed to say? and tell me why did it need to be said? have you helped the mother or the child with what you said? no, rather you are just bored with your day and looking to draw attention to yourself.

may i suggest ladies that we dont rise to this poster and let a painful thread for some rest?

MamaMaiasaura · 08/04/2006 15:04

wow - long topic here. Firstly wanted to re-iterate what many of the more sensible mners have said and how brave it was of you to open up and seek help. Had PND myself and there is an end - honest :)
You were absolutely right to seek help and your son was so young that he will not remember it. Tbh i would guess that there has been a heck of alot of positive input to your ds from yourself and the fact that you had moments of real difficulty in coping, you are focusing on those iykwim.

I had moments in my depression where i thought terrible things might happen to my son and me and was very frightened. Thankfully they didnt happen but depression can be awful.

Sadly there are some people who are blinkered in their view as they have such massive issues and probably feelings of guilt for their 'failings' that they cast judgements.

I wonder if the 33 yo mum of 4 Areyouforreal has ever lost control/not managed as well as she would have liked.

I know for one that i have shouted at my son for something when really it was me being overtired, stressed and feeling crap. I apologised to my son and although it doesnt take away that i did yell (and i guess we all do at times) at least he knows that mummy isnt above admitting when she is wrong. Sorry rambled again :)

MamaMaiasaura · 08/04/2006 15:05

sory hb - missed that last post Blush

waterfalls · 08/04/2006 15:06

Well done cheekymonkey, you will go from strengh to strengh I'm sureSmile

areyouforreal you are a hypocrite, Your posts are abusive I hope cheekymonkey is strong enough to ignore you, otherwise you may well have reversed the distance she has come....................shame on youAngry

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 15:55

WATERFALLS-IN WHAT WAY HAVE I BEEN ABUSIVE,I HAVE SWORE OR SAID ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE TRUTH,I FEEL FOR THE CHILD IS THAT SO WRONG?
AND AS FOR SHOUTING I DONT CLASS THAT AS ABUSE(SWEARING AT A CHILD IS)
AND YES I HAVE SHOUTED AT MY KIDS BUT HAVE NOT VERBALY OR PHYSICALY ABUSED THEM
SMACKING A BABY WAS BANNED BECAUSE OF ABUSERS

collision · 08/04/2006 15:58

Get lost AreYouforReal.

You are a pain and over-reacting.

You have said what you feel and now let it die. You do not know what effect you are having on CM.

Coward.

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 15:58

happybebe clearly i have not helped as all you on here support abuse,my aim was to help the child by hoping the mother would tell ss she couldnt cope before she goes too far,how just how can you support a mother who has pinched,kicked a 13 month old defencless baby

areyouforreal · 08/04/2006 15:59

im no coward collision i will glady give you my email if u want

Swipe left for the next trending thread