AM I AN EVIL MUM?

[cheekymonk]

I just wanted to ask what is the worst thing someone has done to their child. Sometimes I think about how I am and hate how I am with my little boy. I tell him to shut up alot, swear loads-usually not at him but under my breath but worst of all out of frustration I purse his cheeks together sometimes (not really hard) or slightly pinch his legs. Yesterday I even kicked him on the bum slightly which has sickened me ever since. I have finally realised that I am having trouble coping and that my behaviour is not acceptable. I am so ashamed. I want to be Mary Poppins but feel like Cruella de Vil. What can I do?

good for you cheekymonk im glad to hear you are feeling better&your ds is happy,i wish you&your family all the best for the future

Well there is a turnaround AYFR.

good for you CM.

Mr CM....come on here anytime. there are lots of Dads here but Mums will chat to you too!!

Well done CM, you have already come a long way
And your DH sounds lovely and very suportive, you lucky lucky thing

Just come across this thread and wanted to say well done cheekymonk for seeking help, glad it is going well! I suffered from PND after having my ds but it went un-noticed for about 7 months until I got really bad. I read somewhere that someone felt they had to look like they were doing well when in fact they were suffering to cope - I can relate to that! Since the age of 13 when my cousin was born, I knew I was born to be a mother. I never thought I would shout or have negative feelings for a child but my head was seriously messed up during the early months of being a mother. I didn't real realise anything was wrong until I was downstairs one day, talking to myself telling myself I was going mad and felt like I wanted to end it all. I mentioned to the HV that I was feeling low then of course I burst into tears. I loved my ds sooooo much but unless you've been through depression, you can't understand how much you are not youself and lack control (it's a chemical imbalance). The fact that CM came on here and sorted herself out is very brave.

Unfortunately I had bad side effects on my AD's. I could have changed to a different sort but I went for healing (had chakra's rebalanced) and amazingly I was a TOTALLY different person within 48 hours! :)

I won't lower myself to say what I think of AYFR. Just a message to anyone else that needs help - ignore the negative comments, most of us are nice and supportive and just want to help!

CM - just wanted to wish you all the best :)

glad to hear all is back on track CM have been thinking of you :) xx

So glad things are improving for you CheekyMonk

Didn't post on the original thread CM but have been wondering how things are for you. Delighted to hear that posting on here and getting the help you need elsewhere made such a difference to you and your family. It must have taken an awful lot of courage to make that original post--

I only came across this thread today - cheekymonk I have nothing but respect for both you and your dh - you have handled a difficult situation in the most fantastic and constructive manner, what a success story! With the support of your GP, HV and your dh I'm sure that you will continue to do well - and if you do struggle at times (as we all do) - then we're here to offer more advice and support.

And also I have to say that, with the obvious exceptions, I think mumsnet has truly proved its worth here - for the most part the responses have been measured and constructive - just how it should be!

CM you are very very brave, never posted on here b4 but this thread brought a tear to my eye. I have never gone as far as you did but have often felt out of control and had to leave the room for some peace, even when he was a few weeks old and screaming for me. I am also a navy wife and know what its like to be away from family and have dh away for a long time (tho even a weekend can feel a long time sometimes) If you feel u need to chat mail me on iesha at pushpin dot co dot uk I can maybe help with the navy life side, my dh been in since just after we met so been through it all

cheekymonk - was wondering if you are still arond & how you are getting on.