AM I AN EVIL MUM?

[cheekymonk]

I just wanted to ask what is the worst thing someone has done to their child. Sometimes I think about how I am and hate how I am with my little boy. I tell him to shut up alot, swear loads-usually not at him but under my breath but worst of all out of frustration I purse his cheeks together sometimes (not really hard) or slightly pinch his legs. Yesterday I even kicked him on the bum slightly which has sickened me ever since. I have finally realised that I am having trouble coping and that my behaviour is not acceptable. I am so ashamed. I want to be Mary Poppins but feel like Cruella de Vil. What can I do?

Mamamiamia, are you so perfect? Yes, Cheekymonkey is totally wrong for doing what she has, but she's asking for help. I don't know if you have any problems, you may have and I'm sorry if you have, but venting on her won't help. Would you take away all the children in the world you have been hurt by parents and give them away or would you try and help/educate so the children could stay in their home environment. I bet we've all done wrong things sometimes to our kids (NOT NECESSARILY HURT THEM BEFORE i GET JUMPED ON) wroing thoughts about them when they've woken us up again etc...but walk a mile in Cheekymonkey's shoes and then judge.

Boy - this job of being a mother is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Sometimes I feel sad knowing that I don't have the 'right' friend to go and chat through my problems with, and that I have to resort to a keyboard and screen to get stuff off my chest. Thanks for sharing this Cheekymonk - good luck today - I watch your post with interest. Thank goodness for Mumsnet and its colourful contributors!!!

Right, here we go. I am off to appt. Christ...

That's the first step then. Quite often the hardest.

really thinking of you lots

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

good luck Cheekymonk. I hope you get the support you need.

Good luck Cheekymonk.
Mamamiamia's post made my blood boil, exactly what you don't need right now.
I lose my temper with my toddler and DP tells me off for swearing and have on occasion REALLY felt like smacking her and have had to rein myself in lots. I was smacked as a kid and had huge pysical fights with my mum but don't see any long term affects and we get on well now. Mind you I can sympathise with how she felt with 4 of us around!!

How did it go cheekymonk? Are you ok?

Hope it well cheekymonk, we're all here to give you as much support as we can over a computer! and wishing you and your ds all the best wishes, your're not alone.

Ooh Laundrylover, you have no side effects from being smacked as a child and having "huge physical fights" with your mum?

So you don't perhaps think that losing your patience with your toddler or swearing at her will have any effects when she is an adult. But the effects of you being smacked and physical fights are showing by you yelling at your toddler.

And I think if one post made your blood boil then perhaps anger management might be a good alternative for you rather than spending time surfing the net

Thankyou one and all for pointing out that I am a perfect parent. I am not. But I also would not and do not pinch my BABY.

I am glad that Cheekymonkey is getting the help she needs. Her question is "Am I an evil mummy"

She isn't evil per se. Her actions however towards a child so small were evil. BUT she is now getting the help and hopefully support she will need.

Good Luck! ...none of us are perfect.

Just wanted to say good luck CM - it's a very hard job that we do and some of us are better cut out for it that others and it doesn't help when the 'perfect' ones are so judgemental!!!

x

I have never yet met anyone in real life who hasn't lost their patience with their child. I also happen to think that anger is a normal emotion as long as it isn't ever present. Goes hand in hand with passion,love etc for me.

Blimey mamamiamia don't ever read newspapers there's a lot more "evil" done to children than a slight pinch, she didn't hurt him, maybe scared him, it was wrong, but not excatley "evil"

Yes, anyone can lose their patience with a child This was a baby we were talking about.

I never claimed to be perfect. I just don't see how it is a babys' fault that their adult carers pinch and kick them when they have done nothing more than be a normal baby.

It just seems to me that you are saying "He asked to be pinched and kicked" I'll be honest, If I had read that a mother was at the end of her tether I would not have seemed so harsh, but for her to have said she kickd the baby, that made a little upset. If any of us had witnessed this through a neighbours window would we have walked away?

MMM, of course you don't pich your baby, but then you obviously luckily don't have the problems that CM has

Goodness Mammamiamia! Sarcasm wont do you any good on here! and I wouldnt like to cross you either!

Fortunately CM is getting some help but there was no need to go sooo ballistic!

no body said He asked to be pinched and kicked

Of course it is not the babies fault.

But surely you can lose your patience with a baby as much as you can a child????????????

What about when they are screaming for hours in the middle of the night and you want your sleep? I am sure the majority of us don't think "arr bless poor thing" The majority might lose their patience and shout!

I think that we are digressing form CMs post and all getting hot under the collar. Shall we drop it and wait to see what CM reports back?
Chilled out after too much chocolate...

No mamamiamia I don't think anyone would walk away we would try to help, your comments though are not very hopeful though cm luckily saw she was doing wrong and has asked for help she needs help not for someone to kick her anymore while shes already down.

Hi All, back from docs. have been perscribed anti-depressants and also had chat with health visitor who is going to do follow up visits and keep a eye on me. I did tell both about the anger and aggression. I confess I couldn't bring myself to tell either about kicking-far too ashamed but I feel the seriousness was emphasised as the HV said if the pinching etc continued she would have to intervene. Feel like a hughe burden has been lifted and I can now start to try and sort everything out. Thank you all for your support.

Well done! You have done the right thing and it was a big step.

Keep posting.

It must have taken a lot of courage to have told them what you did - well done for taking the first steps towards making things better. I am so pleased for you that you've been able to take steps to deal with this.

If your HV is a nice one, having her support at home could make all the difference - even if only in so much as you can use her as a sounding board and a shoulder to cry on when things get too much for you.

Your welcome, I hope you keep us updated with how your doing and if you have a bad day get on the computer and we're try and help. Gald the docs and HV helped you. Best of luck.

Well done

When i had pnd my HV came around once a week for about an hour. She did this for a couple of months until i was feelng better. All we really did after the first visit was sit and chat in the garden in the sunshine but I really looked forward to her visits.

Keep posting