who was in the right?

[hercules]

Venue- coffee bar

Person 1 chooses a particular cake for their child as they feel it is the most appropriate for their child and orders it.

PErson 2 allows their own child to choose a fairly unhealthy but appealing to kids cake.

PErson 1 then says Oh is you get that I will have to cancel what I've ordered for my child and order the same.

Both look at each other in silence.

Person 2 says well thats all mychild wants and I dont know what to get for child if not that.

Person 1 then cancels order to get their child the same.

hmmm tricky
For me I'd stick to my appropriate choice as person 1 and just explain to child that they are eating this beacuse it is the best food for their body, that the other choice has colourings etc in it-I do this with my DS and he accepts it-even telling off other children for wating smarties. how long this will last is anyones guess.

person 2 obviously. Though I can imagine being anal person 1 myself
Not a question of being 'in the right' though - each person perfectly entitled to order whatever they want; person 1 not entitled to overule person 2's choice, and will just have to accept that it didn't go her way that time...

Person 1 in the wrong, imo, if s/he is cross with person 2.

child with person 1 wasnt at the checkout and apparantly likes usual cake.

maybe both? is it possible that person one was trying to be healthy (as we all do sometimes) but then re-thought and decided it just wasn't going to be possible in light of person 2's choice. doesn't mean she was trying to make person two feel bad? depends what else was in 'the look'.

Well I guess person 1 wanted an easier life - no harm there really, her choice. However I'd probably have stuck to my own choice.

not cross but did expect person 1 to get something else.

sounds about right vintomum.

meant to say that its person 1's problem if they decide to capitulate in the face of person 2's actions....

so person 1 felt pressured into changing and so tried to pressure person 2 into changing instead. its personal choice, not 'in the right'. and tbh i dont think its too awful to let them have what they want every so often

Yes, i think you're right about not really right or wrong.

I think person 2 was probably in the right - why should they be the one to change due to the whim of another?
In real life however I am person 1.

Person 1 shouldn't have made person 2 feel that she was in the wrong. It's all down to personal choice

are you 1 or 2?

On the basis that these are toddlers .....

both wrong

Person 2 for allowing a toddler to make a choice and Person 1 for folding under pressure!

Ok, if person 1 expected person 2 to change her order just to suit person 1, then that was wrong. If you want to give your child healthy stuff you are on your own (as I have found to my cost, sob). It's not other people's responsibility to makes ure your child eats healthily. If you don't want your child to have the unhealthy option, give them another option that they will be happy with, or avoid the situation except when with similar food freak friends.

However, if I was person 2, I personally would have changed the order if possible to avoid making life difficult for my friend. It sounds a bit like person 2 was just being stubborn for the sake of it and thought it was tough luck to person 1, when they probably could have been kind and helped them out without their child getting upset.

Hey - they were both wrong!

I think person 1 was in the wrong, but what I would have done is split the 2 cakes in half, and given half of each to each child so that they each got a healthy and a yummy cake. And explain to the child that they can 'be the same, isn't that exciting darling.......fingers crossed hopefully that child 2 will agree!'

I think person 2 was right to stick to their own decision.

Person 1 was wrong if they expected person 2 to give in and change their mind bbecause of them. Person 1 then had a choice - keep original food or not.

Would have also thought it rude if person 1 openly criticised person 2's choice to them or towards the child though as well. Not particularly a polite way of going about things.

Agree with MT. I would have been person 3 - I'd have given child a 'choice' of 2 or 3 things of my choosing iyswim!

If I was person 1, I'd probably have caved in and said 'sod it, it's christmas'. I wouldn't expect anyone else to change their choice for me.

'healthy' cake? I don't think so!
There's just yummy and less yummy.
I happen to prefer carrot cake to chocolate cake, but I don't kid myself it is healthier.

Surely it has carrots in and is by definition healthier aloha - I certainly use it as one of ds' vegetable portions!!!!! And my own....

I love the idea of getting your five a day by cake alone, but not sure this is really the best route to health and slenderness!

As either person, I would have stuck with my choice, and expected friend to do the same.

Friend one can't have that much conviction that she is doing the right thing if she feels she has to change what she does to suit her company.