is this woman a pedo, should I call the police??

[jayjayp]

I really could do with some advice on this one, I regularly check my 13 y/o son's history and email/facebook etc.. last night I was checking through as usual when his msn automatically signed into an email account I was unaware of. Within minutes I was getting IM's from this woman (she obviously thought I was my son) of a worrying nature. I checked this womans profile & discovered she is 27 y/o and that she claims to be having a 'serious, committed relationship' with my son!!! Naturally I have questioned my son about this first thing this morning with the attitude that I am worried that he is being abused online by this woman, he immediately jumped to this womans defence, begging me not to call the police on her. I am very concerned that she is a pedo and that she may have been grooming my son, as he doesnt seem to understand that this relationship is wrong in anyway, he tells me its not real and all just a game so its not abuse and that he wouldnt meet her in rl.

What do mn-ers think about this?? My instincts are to get the police involved and am obviously in panick fearing the worst.
It may be worth mentioning that ds's behaviour has changed dramatically of late, maybe this is linked to his involvement with this woman.

I have confiscated his laptop for the time being and cut him of from all net access so that he cannot message this woman to warn her I am considering involving the law.

Any response would be so greatly appreciated, I apologise for the lengthy message, I hope you understand my need to explain as thoroughly as poss given the medium.

sincerely, jamie-joyce

I would phone the police tbh.

Was there anything else on his secret email account?

She's not a paedo if she genuinely believes your son is 27 too.

I would call the police too.

Yes, I would absolutely call the police. He is being manipulated and 'groomed'.

It is also far more likely to be a man pretending to be a woman (statistically) so if you're in any doubt that fact should make you call them.

Oh, does she think your son is older?

yes, call the police.

don't be silly

Have you asked your son if he is pretending to be older than 13?

Phone the police, if she is doing nothing wrong the police will clear her, if not she'll be dealt with.

Unless you've kept him home, he's probably already used one of his mate's phones to contact her.

good point mumble - does this woman know your son's age?

If she does, then contact the police for advice.

If she doesn't, then I'd probably email her, apologising for your son's deception and explaining that he is only 13 years old.

Oh I don't know, that would probably hurt her / make her feel a fool? But it's probably best she knows - a lesson for her that people can claim to be anything.

Definitely call the police. A "committed relationship" between a 13 yo boy and a 27 yo woman surely not good.

i was wondering though , is it possible your DS lied about his age for fun?

x posted

Call the police. Your son may be sensible enough not to meet her in RL but it doesn't mean other boys will be.

But 27 year olds don't have "serious, committed relationships" with people they've never met in RL, so of course she knows that he's a young boy. Call the police.

I wouldnt hesitate to contact the police to be honest! Does your son look older for his age? I assume she would of seen his pictures etc so surely she knows she is doing wrong.the other side of things your son needs a talking to, if only to let him no the implications of what his actions can have for people.

sorry if this sounds blunt but why are you letting your 13 year old have so much freedom on the computer? surely you should be setting the settings so he cannot access the sites to set up new emails etc.
I hope you get things sorted and that it is all inocent x

@ Mumblechum~she thinks he is 15 y/o as this is the age on his profile.

@ kreecherlivesupstairs~I didnt find anything else worrying on this account, I think its been created for the sole purpose of contact with this woman

I am seriously thinking I should contact the law, my reservation is that Im worried that it may cause him a whole lot more grief for little or no result as im sure an abuser wouldnt put their real details online. On the other hand I dont want to allow an abuser to continue to be able to do this to other young people.

We are pretty upset about this and just now my son has apologised to me, saying he understands its not a normal relationship and why I have to put a stop to it immediately, he cried his eyes out.

Im really worried about him, thanks so very much for your responses, so greatly appreciated.

Jamie-Joyce

I think you should phone the police / nspcc for professional and knowledgeable advice.

• no offence to us mners

if she thinks he is 15 you should definitely call the police.

they will have ways of tracing her.

Is Jamie Joyce your real name?

is it possible that your DS has lied to her about how old he is? There used to be a way (I haven't used MSN in ages) to see past conversations that you've had) is there any way of checking that to see what has been said?

It's the "it's just a game" bit that makes me wonder that

why do you allow your son to have a profile saying he is 15? not that it makes what the other person is doing right

the problem is not your 13 yo son and there is no point in making him cry. he needs to be cautious and informed, not upset

please contact the police and let them worry how to investigate it

and monitors your sons facebook usage more carefully