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Original poster

whats does your family (mum) think of your dh/dp

34 replies

twinkerbell · 01/05/2010 19:55

my mum likes my dh but often runs him down, its clear she thinks he is not good enough for me/thnks I could do better and I get the feeling my sister thinks the same.
I know he isn't perfect and he has brought me alot of grief but I certainly know alot worse. Its starting to affect me though

OP posts:
meatntattypie · 01/05/2010 19:58

They love him.
in fact my dad rang tonight "hi, is mr tatty in?"
no dad, but i am.....

mum thinks he is wonderful and dad loves him.

he is a stunner of a fh though i have to admit.

My dsis partner however is another kettle of fish.
none of my family particularly like him.

dinkystinky · 01/05/2010 20:04

He's the son they never had - despite being a different race. She loves that he will eat whatever she puts in front of him - and several helpings of it. Thank god the man has the fastest metabolism in the west....

And they love my dsis's boyfriend too - basically any man crazy enough to couple with one of their daughters and hopefully produce grandkids at some point post marriage is all good in their books.

BextheBambi · 01/05/2010 20:04

They love him but are wary of him, if that makes sense.
Then again my mum loves anyone who compliments the DIY work in her house. They're only wary because he has bi polar and used to be a fighter. But everyone changes, i used to be a nightmare heavy drinker, all night partier and general nightmare.

trefusis · 01/05/2010 20:07

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cyteen · 01/05/2010 20:10

My mum's dead, so no opinions there, but the rest of my family go bananas over him:

my dad told me recently that DP was the best thing that could have happened to me (ummm, thanks dad)

my nan actually seems to have a small crush and practically swoons whenever she speaks to him on the phone

my stepmum will often crack a smile and even laugh in his presence

Basically they think he's the shit. Which I can understand, he is great and all.

Luckily DP's family seem similarly taken with me, so it's just one big love-in round our way

notcitrus · 01/05/2010 20:12

After I'd been with him for about a year, my mum told me that MrNC would never finish his PhD, never get a proper job, and would certainly dump me within the year.

Within two months he had an excellent job, is still with me after 15 years, and got the PhD after another 4 years of effort. Took her another decade to stop sighing "as long as you're happy...", though. Now he's wonderful, especially thanks to all the computer advice he's supplied. Mostly exactly what I've already explained...

My dad used to be polite but uncomfortable round him but has relaxed and now they get on really well - MrNC is incredibly camp and my dad gets come-ons from men too often for his comfort.

trefusis · 01/05/2010 20:15

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TrinityMeemaRhino · 01/05/2010 20:17

my mum and dad loved neil to bits
he was the son they never had

oopsandbabycoconut · 01/05/2010 20:18

If my mum could walk infront of him throwing rose petals before his every step it would not be too much trouble for her.

fearnelinen · 01/05/2010 20:19

DH always gets men coming on to him too!

Dad thinks he's great, thankful to me for the constant provision of golf partners!
Mum thinks he's just like my Dad, so a bit of an arse, but the best I'll get !

dinkystinky · 01/05/2010 20:21

Oops - my mum DID walk before him throwing rosepetals before his feet at our hindu wedding!

fearnelinen · 01/05/2010 20:24

dinky!

notcitrus · 01/05/2010 20:25

trefusis - He certainly has been chatted up by lots of men who he isn't interested in, and I'm not going to ask if there's been others! We Don't Talk about stuff like that.

Although one time he was driving me up a motorway and suddenly came out with "I haven't had sex with your mother since before you were born" - I'm the spit of him so no worries on that score. Was thinking how to answer when I realised we were going at 100mph into other cars and just yelled 'look out!!'. Haven't raised the topic since...

MrNC is actually straight, much to his mum's disappointment and most people's disbelief!

Original poster
twinkerbell · 01/05/2010 20:27

now I feel rubbish
I was hoping some others may have the same prob as me but seems you lot have all got perfect situations

OP posts:
taffetacat · 01/05/2010 20:46

My parents love my DH. I think more than me. Not really perfect. Nothing's perfect.

My Mum loves my DH as he is so different from my Dad, and my Dad caused my Mum lots of grief over the years and she doesn't want the same for me.

If I ever have a barney with DH I can't talk to my Mum about it as she will always side with him.

MrsTittleMouse · 01/05/2010 20:48

My Mum thinks that my DH is wonderful personified.

If it makes you feel better, my MIL is a lovely person and we get on OK, but she certainly wouldn't use wonderful to describe me! And I don't think that there's that much wrong with me.

Original poster
twinkerbell · 01/05/2010 21:00

lol I guess I just find it hard that my mum and sister seem to think he is pretty rubbish. He is a lovely honest person and works hard, has never been out of work apart from about 4 months after being made redundant.he doesnt earn a great deal and it does make it a struglle at times but good enough. I think its that my step dad and brother in law seem to be superhuman! they have great jobs, earn good money, can fix anything, do anything and my mums iltimate comment that hurt me was the following
" I guess you have to accept that if you stay with him, you will never really have very much"

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BessieBoots · 01/05/2010 21:09

How long have you been with him twinker? My mother died just after we were engaged, and loved DH, but Dad didn't think he was right for me at all, and was really quite rude. It's taken a while, but after seeing that I'm happy and that DH is a very kind and gentle man, he has come round.

taffetacat · 01/05/2010 21:18

Oh twinker I can see that could be upsetting for you. It sounds like your Mum wants someone to provide for you, and that financial comfort is important to her. I assume the "have very much" is a material comment.

I think probably the response I would give to that is that you will have a great deal - a happy, loving, fulfilling relationship which money can't buy.

Original poster
twinkerbell · 01/05/2010 21:18

we have been together for almost 9 years!

I think she resents the fact that he doesnt have a career as such and he has a child from a previous relationship and that has big restrictions on me. He is fairly quiet and unpractical-had quite a charmed life as a child, not wanting for or doing very much.
my mum had a strong career herself although raised us alone for may years she was very independant

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 01/05/2010 21:20

My mother thinks the sun shines out of his arse.

dinkystinky · 01/05/2010 21:22

Twinkerbell - in my case, I think it helped that I waited until I was sure that DH was the one I was going to marry before I introduced him to my parents. My mum was so worried I wasnt seeing anyone she actually asked me (about 12 months before I introduced DH to her) if I was a lesbian as she'd heard it was very fashionable in london..

As long as you think he is a great partner and he supports you, in whatever way you need, that is the important thing. If my parents hadnt loved DH I'd still have married him. If he is the right partner for you, I'd say feck them and enjoy the brilliant person you have found as a partner.

Debs75 · 01/05/2010 21:26

My mum is pretty anti-men anyway (thanks Dad) so is convinced that mine and dsis's dp's are not good enough.
That said she does actually get on with my dp. Probably due to him sticking around through 3 kids, 1 of whom is disabled. Plus he lets me spend our money on what I like which is something she could never do when with Dad.
She does wish he had more of a career but has relaxed a bit.

Original poster
twinkerbell · 01/05/2010 21:28

well the thing is I have had previous partner for over 3.5 years who was very career orientated, he now has a fantatsic job in switzerland and live the high life but he has nevr married and has no children and is almost 40. he has relationships but as soon as they get really serious he bins it.funny thing is I binned him! lol
Think my mum compares dh to him, he intelligence, his ambition etc but.....atleast my dh committed to me, married me, we have a gorgeous dd and he supports me in my career, its not a comepetition!

OP posts:
dinkystinky · 01/05/2010 21:30

You're right Twinkerbell - its not a competition and your DH gives you what YOU need and want, and that is the really important thing.