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Original poster

Strangers giving money to your kids..........

26 replies

Gwenick · 16/06/2005 15:36

how do you react??

I know that sound really 'dodgy' but it's not. DS2 (18 months) LOVES waving at people as we're out and about with him in his pushchair. Was on the way back from picking DS1 up from nursery and he was waving furiously at a middle aged man - who then waved back...he went to walk on his way, then stopped asked what the boys names were and said "that's the 2nd time he's waved to me - how lovely".......and proceed to fish some money out of his pocket saying "Next time you see the icecream van you get them one each"......

I told him he REALLY didn't need to do that, but he was adamant, and despite my protestations (embarassment mainly!) gave them £2 EACH!!

I thanked him profusely and he disappeared on his way, with a big smile on his face.

How do YOU react in the situations?? I've had people offer a sweet (after asking me) to them before, and I can 'cope' with that, but £4 to buy them something was a really awkward situation.

Anyone else had the same happen to them and how do you react??

PS I'm not 'angry', 'annoyed' or anything like that, as it was obvious that it was just a 'natural' thing for him to do.

He spoke with a Caribbean accent (not sure if that's relevant) so don't know if it's a cultural type thing either!

OP posts:
SenoraPostrophe · 16/06/2005 15:39

A man gave money to dd once when she was out with my mum - he said he would give her it if she was good for her "mum" (mum was v pleased at this) to buy some sweeties.

It did seem a bit odd, but mum just thanked him and went on her way (having told dd she could have the money later).

sweetmonkey · 16/06/2005 15:41

what a lovely thing to happen. i bet the guy just wanted to do something nice for them, prob made him feel good about himself too.

i would just take it as the kind gesture as it was meant

can i have a fab please????

sparklymieow · 16/06/2005 15:42

My children are always getting money given to them. DS got £2 off a lady who was in a wheelchair and he chatted to her and explained that he had Cerebral palsy and used a wheelchair sometimes (i think he must have been about 5) And my girls have been given cash too. I normally accept it, say thanks, and pop it in their money box

Marina · 16/06/2005 15:45

In the context you outline, Gwenick, I'd take the money gracefully. I think to decline would have upset someone who sounds like a kindly stranger. It obviously made his day!
I'm a trusting sort and would be touched if a little nonplussed if someone did something like this to us.
I think almost every OTHER culture represented in the UK is more doting on infants that your bog-standard Englishperson. It is noticeable that a lot of the sweet comments and chats we have in the street are from people with...Polish/Turkish/Italian/Irish/West Indian/African/Japanese...you name it, accents...
When older strangers chat to us in the street I tend to try and take the view that they may be thinking of their own grandchildren or wishing they had some. I try not to immediately feel paranoid about stranger danger (helps that although we live in an urban area it is quite sedate and "settled").
I would use the opportunity to maybe have an age-appropriate chat with ds1 about accepting presents from strangers when out on his own at some point in the future (my ds is nearly six and it would be essential in his case).
I hope you bought some nice juicy lollies!

tarantula · 16/06/2005 15:50

Actually seems very normal and natural to me but then Im Irish .

TrophyWife · 16/06/2005 15:54

you have just reminded me, as kids we used to pass the chaps house every morning on our way to school, and he would stand at his window and wave at us and we would wave back, then one morning he was at his gate and he stoped my mum and gave her a £5 note to get us 4 kids some sweets. sadly he died a few weeks kater, but this thread reminded me of him and of how nice he was.

elsmommy · 16/06/2005 16:12

I took dd to a pub when she was a few days old so my dad could show her off!
People kept giving me money for her, I just said thank you I'll put it in a bank account for her! (Which I did!!)
I came home with over 40 quid that day and I knew none of those people !!

RTKangaMummy · 16/06/2005 16:35

One of our neighbours used to say to my mum or dad that when he saw my smile it used to "make his day" and so I think it is kind of like that

That your DS waving to him "made his day" perhaps he hadn't spoken or had anyone smile or wave to him for days or even weeks

Sounds like you have a DS to be proud of being so friendly.

IMHO it would only be a problem if he was older and likely to be going out by himself.

Alannah · 16/06/2005 17:22

I was in a bar with my friend and my DP with our dd when she was just a baby (we are not in the habit of bringing her to bars, this was an exception ). There was an old drunk guy there who looked homeless, he stumbled over to our table to say hello and initially I froze incase he was a bit mad. But he just wanted to say hello and look at the baby, he said he was a gypsy and gave me two pound coins for the baby for luck. I was really touched as he obviously diddn't have much and I have put the two pounds away for her for luck.

Davros · 16/06/2005 20:33

I remember people doing it a lot in Ireland when we were kids and my neighbour, who is Irish (and v. old) does it. Maybe just a coincidence?

dizzymama · 16/06/2005 20:39

This thread is making me cry , it's so nice to think people can be so kind (oh, and I am extremely pre-menstrual!!!!)
Gwenick, it is a lovely compliment to your dsand agree would only be a problem if he was old enough to go out on his own.

SueW · 16/06/2005 20:42

People used to give DD money when she was a baby and we lived in London. They always said they wanted to put money into her hand for luck.

zebraZ · 16/06/2005 20:45

As soon as the giver has walked away I often get my child and ask them to put the money in the nearest charity box.... feels right to me.

zebraZ · 16/06/2005 20:47

Has anyone had other people trying to feed your child or baby? A stranger tried to give DS2 (almost 1) a chip walking down Bournemouth high St. 2 weeks ago... DH was very annoyed about it, esp. as we nearly didn't see it, guy just ducked down to hand DS2 (in a pushchair) the chip while we were looking at something else.

Original poster
Gwenick · 16/06/2005 20:53

As soon as the giver has walked away I often get my child and ask them to put the money in the nearest charity box.... feels right to me.

Not sure how well that would work with DS2 -

a) haven't got a CLUE where the nearest charity box is.

b) I had a big enough fight taking on of the £1 coins out of his hand when we got home without the embarassement of prising it out his fingers infront of other people (he's 18 months BTW).

Obviously I'm teaching DS1, and DS2 when he's old enough about 'stranger danger' and all that - just wasn't sure how to react at some bloke giving me £4 from his pocket for them (especially as he pulled all the coins out of his pocket and the ones he put back in were all 5's, 10's and coppers )

DS1 once got given a lollypop by a shop keeper in London, (can't remember the area - just 'north' london - off the M1), his (much older) cousins took him to the shop when we payed a rare visit down there and he smiled at the shopkeeper, who promptly gave him a HUGE lollipop

Both DS's were also given a teddy bear AGES ago by a lady who saw us get off the bus, She lived next to the bus-stop (not near where we lived) stopped me and said "would you boys like a teddybear". I told her that it was ok, but was already on the way into her house, and came out with a really cute little bear, "apparently" she'd won it in a raffle and was keeping it until she found someone that would appreciate it!

OP posts:
starshaker · 16/06/2005 20:56

i know its tradition to not look into a new babys pram without putting a "penny" in. but dd has now got over £200 shes richer than me lol

zebraZ · 16/06/2005 20:57

I dunno if I'd want an 18 month old to hold any coin... swallowing/choking risk, all that!
You could swap a tuppence for a £2 coin, esp. if the tuppence is shinier. Or swap a bag of HulaHoops....
I only said I "often" give the coin to charity, other times I just pocket it!
If it makes somebody feel good to give it then I am not going to stand in their way, but I have a greedy streak so feel better about not actually keeping the coin for myself or my kids, instead give it to someone more in need.

Flossam · 16/06/2005 20:58

We're in London and DS has had his 'palm crossed with silver before'. It was an elderly lady with sticks who had walked away and walked back again to give him the coin, bless her heart.

Original poster
Gwenick · 16/06/2005 20:58

zebra - thankfully he's past the 'must stick everything in my mouth and taste it' stage, and on the rare occasions he does it it's usually before a meal time when he's hungry .

I pulled the cover back so I could watch him with it - so don't panic

OP posts:
zebraZ · 16/06/2005 21:04

Am not claiming any moral high ground, Gwenick....
I am supremely lax about letting DS2 (just 1) put stones in his mouth, he loves the game of obviously sucking on them in front of us until we order him to spit them out. Cheeky simian....

sobernow · 16/06/2005 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lunavix · 16/06/2005 21:10

Ds (14 months) puts it all in his mouth thinking it's food still

One of my mindee's (22 months) still does this too!

Caligula · 16/06/2005 21:13

Strangers can give my kids fifty pound notes whenever they want. As long as there are no strings attached, obviously!

Tortington · 16/06/2005 21:14

my uncle used to take me to everyone we knew - just for the moey people would give - so he could get pissed down the pub !!

what a nice nice man gwenick - itsnice to be reminded of nice people

zebraZ · 16/06/2005 21:15

Srrangers can give me 50 pound notes any time they like. My address is....
(and it doesn't matter if there are strings attached...)