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Original poster

Are our kids too spoilt these days?

39 replies

SPARKLER1 · 31/05/2005 10:35

I am banging my head against a brick wall at the moment. DD is going to be 6 on June 24th. I have been asking her what she wants to do for her birthday and everytime I ask she wants to do something different.
We've gone from:-

a disco party in a local hall
a bouncy castle in a local hall
Fun play session with bouncy castle at sports centre
trampolining party
swimming party (there is no way on this earth that I'm going one of those!!!!)
and now she wants to have three friends to the cinema and then pizza hut

I'm sure she will change her mind again tomorrow.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Do are kids have too much choice these days or what??????

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 31/05/2005 10:36

yes

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 31/05/2005 10:36

bump

OP posts:
catgirl · 31/05/2005 10:37

yes! good luck with it all!

starlover · 31/05/2005 10:37

yes! they do!

at 6 I don't think i cared THAT much what I did on my birthday. We just used to have the regular few friends over and a party tea and games etc...

tbh, my parents couldn't have afforded anything else though...

TracyK · 31/05/2005 10:38

Sounds like it!
I'd choose one from the list that she already has mentioned that is the easiest for you and just do that one. End the discussion now as you've still got 25 days of changing minds!

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 31/05/2005 10:39

I think I shall just make the decision myself about what to do for her birthday. She has had some good birthday do's over the last five years so I think it's time to make some cutbacks.

OP posts:
starlover · 31/05/2005 10:39

the trick is not to ask them!

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 31/05/2005 10:40

LOL Starlover. You know I think you are right - I'm starting to learn these things.

OP posts:
starlover · 31/05/2005 10:42

the problem is when you try and make it bigger and better each year... yuo see parents spending hundreds and hundreds of pounds on birthday parties when kids are like, 8 or something...
i'm sure they'd be just as happy with some friends over having a treasure hunt in the garden or something!

nutcracker · 31/05/2005 10:47

Hmm my dd2 is a bit like that. She was meant to have a party for her 5th birthday but we hadn't the money so I promised her she could have one this year. It isn't until december but she keeps on and on about it.

She wants a party in the wacky like her sister did, but I am adamant I donot want to spend £100 on that. At her sisters the food was rubbish and as most kids go to the wacky alot anyway it was no novelty.

I am trying to persuade her that we go see a stage show and she can take her sister and her best friend and go fo something to eat afterwards. So far she's having non of it.

nutcracker · 31/05/2005 10:48

Do your kids have a party every year Sparkler ???

I have told mine that they cannot have one every year as it's just too much.
Dd1 had her first one at 5 and will probably now not have another until 9 or 10.

coldtea · 31/05/2005 10:48

Most def yes or that's in my ds's case anyway!

I've just put on a similar thread asking for ideas. My ds is having a party the day before his birthday for his school friends (15) & i've hired an entertainer.

The next day (his birthday) i'm hiring a castle for 12 of his outside friends.

To be fair, i've only done it this way as he wants traditional party games at his party & i couldn't manage this with all 27 children!

It's my fault though so next year he'll just have to keep the numbers down or go to a play area!

starlover · 31/05/2005 10:51

nutcracker you made a good point there.... children seem to have all their spare time filled with "fun activities" so that things we would have classed as a treat, are now just everyday occurences.

emily05 · 31/05/2005 10:56

I agree. My ds will be 3 in August and already people are asking me what we are 'doing' for his brithday!
Sparkler - ask her to decide once and for all and tell her that is it.

nutcracker · 31/05/2005 10:58

How about you give her a choice of 2 and she has to decide there and then. Once she has decided tell her you've booked it.

starlover · 31/05/2005 10:59

it's crazy isn't it! there's no way I am doing anything more than party at home with family, cake etc until DS is well and truly old enough to appreciate it.

they won't even remember their 3rd birthday!!!

weesaidie · 31/05/2005 11:56

I think you have the right idea starlover!

The first birthday I remember is my 6th when I went to Little Marcos play centre in Edinburgh!

I don't think I can remember many others, were mainly just family, friends, cakes and games I think...

ooh went to the trampoline centre once - that was great!

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 31/05/2005 12:03

Yes dds have had a party every year. It's totally down to us parents at the end of the day so I'm totally to blame for her being spoilt .
It all started with her 1st birthday party - you've never seen anything like it. We bought a huge pool to go in the garden from Makro. I did a massive buffet with chicken legs, vol au vents etc. FFS as if she is likely to remember any of it. I must have been totaly mad. Each year I have got better and cutback or taken shortcuts with things.

OP posts:
Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 31/05/2005 12:15

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh - Just told her I want a final answer and she said she wants a tea party - and proceeded to give me names of four completely different children to previously. PMSL

OP posts:
LGJ · 31/05/2005 12:28

DS(4) had 20 friends in the vilage hall, we did an old fashoined tea, a few of my girl friends brought along big garden toys, we brought Ds's as well and they just ran around like loons for an hour and a half.

He can have the same party next year and after that it will DH, myself, DS and three friends at Pizza Express for a pizza decorating party.

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 31/05/2005 17:44

I didn't know that pizza express did those sort of parties. Sounds like fun.
Don't give dd anymore ideas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
vickiyumyum · 31/05/2005 18:03

far too much choice imo. my ds1 will be 8 in july and wants to go tank driving!!! this costs £59 for 2 kids for 15 mins!!

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 01/06/2005 09:00

That's so expensive!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 01/06/2005 09:06

I wish I could have all the money my parents spent on my birthday parties as a kid right about now. I don't remember any of them and I had them till I was about 8 years old. I do remember my dad asking me if I'd rather go on a mini-break holiday instead. Um, is the Pope Catholic? The best birthday treat I remember is a trip to the Mexican pyramids when I was 10. WAY better than some party!

titchy · 01/06/2005 10:18

Hmm intersting thread. Definately have much more than I ever did as a child, but I'd like to think that this doesn't necessarily make them spoilt. I don't thin kthe definition of spoilt is having lots of stuff.

What's intersting also is a lot of you have commented that some parties you had as a child were a waste of time as you didn;t remember them? For some reason I have a real problem with this, probably becasue it cuts close to the bone a bit - I sometimes find myself doing stuff for the children not because they want to but because it'll be a good experience for them to look back on. What am I expecting - them to look back ontheir childhoods and remember all the great fulfilling things they did and appreciate me for it???!!! This feels wrong somehow (althogh I do admit to refusing to take them to Disneyworld until the youonger one is at least 6 ).

Are we that insecure as parents that we need our children to remember the expense and effort we went to and be grateful for it?

What is wrong with having a party and your children enjoying it at the time and then forgetting all about it. Sometimes it good to live in the present!