Are our kids too spoilt these days?

[SPARKLER1]

I am banging my head against a brick wall at the moment. DD is going to be 6 on June 24th. I have been asking her what she wants to do for her birthday and everytime I ask she wants to do something different.
We've gone from:-

a disco party in a local hall
a bouncy castle in a local hall
Fun play session with bouncy castle at sports centre
trampolining party
swimming party (there is no way on this earth that I'm going one of those!!!!)
and now she wants to have three friends to the cinema and then pizza hut

I'm sure she will change her mind again tomorrow.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Do are kids have too much choice these days or what??????

[SPARKLER1]

OMG Chandra - How many people??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chandra]

ahem... my mother organised a party for DS for hi first birthday, there were 60 adults and 90 children (DS went happily around the place on his babywalker but fell sleep before the end of the party, the rest of us had a great time!

2nd birthday we wanted something quiet, after all he was unlikely to remember it and he is not keen in crowds. So we carefully planned something he might enjoy and we choose the mini cooper topic (he is obsessed with minis). So I sent a cake to the nursery and in the afternoon we took him to the place where they sell the Minis (you can't imagine his face, he was in Mini heaven , pointing to them and screaming Mini!). Afterwards we had a cake with candles, a pizza and he got a 3.50 pounds MiniCopper as a gift. Four months he still has the mini with him most of the time

[Tortington]

mine arn't.

[Kidstrack2]

aloha, a party for ds is usually 40kids in a games hall! So really to ds its not a party just a few friends round for the afternoon!

[SPARKLER1]

Bowling is booked and their is NO going back. Party bags and cakes included in price - so all I have to do is send out invites. Bloomin' marvellous!

[Hermione1]

Yes i think so, why don/'t you choose two of the list and say it's either this one or this one, and when she's made her mind up, say that you need to book/organise it so she can't change her mind. She how that goes.

[aloha]

And no, I don't think my son is spoilt. And if our children are spoilt, who could possibly be to blame but us?

[Miaou]

Golly, I'm now thinking my kids are deprived compared to your lot!!! DD1 was 8 on Tuesday - she had 7 friends round from school, we played traditional party games and had a party tea (on paper plates on the floor because there wasn't enough room at the table!). It was her choice and tbh I don't think she would ever have thought of doing anything else. The kids ranged from ages 6 to 13 and they all had a great time. Total cost - about £30 including food and party bags (if that).

But that seems to be what everyone does round here - ie traditional birthday parties. We don't have the facilities to go bowling/ice skating/cinema etc so I suppose you do tend to fall back on what there is available.

[aloha]

Kidstrack2, um, but that is a party!

Am booking a punch and judy man for ds's 4th birthday. Am SO looking forward to it!

[LGJ]

But Mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm whinge whinge whine whine

[SPARKLER1]

Right it's booked. Having a bowling party. She is having 8 friends. No more changing of minds - I'm off to pay the deposit today!

[Kidstrack2]

Yeah I agree Sparkler1, they have so many choices. My ds is 6 on 15june, and every year we have had a party of some sort. This year we just said to him we would get him one big present(which is a new bike) but he was not having a party. But he could invite a few kids from his class for a fun afternoon in our house/garden, I have bought a bead/bracelet type kit so they can make them, and i have some lucky bags for a treasure hunt and i have a small bouncy castle. So I suppose very much like a small party with a few of his friends. And my dd just had her 2nd birthday on 30th may but we went out for dinner to a family restaurant with play area.

[lavenderrr]

yes

we used to have parties with party tea and friends over up until we were quite old 10 plus and wouldn't have wanted it any other way...definetely preferred playing with friends to expensive trips away..wouldn't give them any choice but let them have one treat once a year and make it special...I think children would just be glad to have their friends over and the setting is just an extra, whatever suits your budget best..hope it goes well.

[Moomin]

Since dd was 2 we've had parties in the garden each year. We hire a bouncy castle (£40), I do a bit of food and then invite all our friends with kids and the adults get together and have a laugh and the kids run/bounce themselves ragged. My mum always did the same for us when we were little. When we got to the stage when we were a bit too old for parties, we started having a treat with one or two friends, e.g. one year it was a evening showing at the pictures followed by a sleepover. The last birthday of mine that my mum was alive though she took me, her best friend and bf's daughter to London to see Rudolf Nureyev and Margot Fontein (sp?) in Swan Lake as I was mad on ballet at the time. I'll always remember that but I enjoyed my birthdays whatever we did because my mum made me feel very special - not through material things, necessarily, though. I plan on memorable birthdays for dd but not ones that will bankrupt us / spoil her, so that she expects the same or better every year.

[titchy]

Hmm intersting thread. Definately have much more than I ever did as a child, but I'd like to think that this doesn't necessarily make them spoilt. I don't thin kthe definition of spoilt is having lots of stuff.

What's intersting also is a lot of you have commented that some parties you had as a child were a waste of time as you didn;t remember them? For some reason I have a real problem with this, probably becasue it cuts close to the bone a bit - I sometimes find myself doing stuff for the children not because they want to but because it'll be a good experience for them to look back on. What am I expecting - them to look back ontheir childhoods and remember all the great fulfilling things they did and appreciate me for it???!!! This feels wrong somehow (althogh I do admit to refusing to take them to Disneyworld until the youonger one is at least 6 ).

Are we that insecure as parents that we need our children to remember the expense and effort we went to and be grateful for it?

What is wrong with having a party and your children enjoying it at the time and then forgetting all about it. Sometimes it good to live in the present!

[expatinscotland]

I wish I could have all the money my parents spent on my birthday parties as a kid right about now. I don't remember any of them and I had them till I was about 8 years old. I do remember my dad asking me if I'd rather go on a mini-break holiday instead. Um, is the Pope Catholic? The best birthday treat I remember is a trip to the Mexican pyramids when I was 10. WAY better than some party!

[SPARKLER1]

That's so expensive!

[vickiyumyum]

far too much choice imo. my ds1 will be 8 in july and wants to go tank driving!!! this costs £59 for 2 kids for 15 mins!!

[SPARKLER1]

I didn't know that pizza express did those sort of parties. Sounds like fun.
Don't give dd anymore ideas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LGJ]

DS(4) had 20 friends in the vilage hall, we did an old fashoined tea, a few of my girl friends brought along big garden toys, we brought Ds's as well and they just ran around like loons for an hour and a half.

He can have the same party next year and after that it will DH, myself, DS and three friends at Pizza Express for a pizza decorating party.

[SPARKLER1]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh - Just told her I want a final answer and she said she wants a tea party - and proceeded to give me names of four completely different children to previously. PMSL

[SPARKLER1]

Yes dds have had a party every year. It's totally down to us parents at the end of the day so I'm totally to blame for her being spoilt .
It all started with her 1st birthday party - you've never seen anything like it. We bought a huge pool to go in the garden from Makro. I did a massive buffet with chicken legs, vol au vents etc. FFS as if she is likely to remember any of it. I must have been totaly mad. Each year I have got better and cutback or taken shortcuts with things.

[weesaidie]

I think you have the right idea starlover!

The first birthday I remember is my 6th when I went to Little Marcos play centre in Edinburgh!

I don't think I can remember many others, were mainly just family, friends, cakes and games I think...

ooh went to the trampoline centre once - that was great!

[starlover]

it's crazy isn't it! there's no way I am doing anything more than party at home with family, cake etc until DS is well and truly old enough to appreciate it.

they won't even remember their 3rd birthday!!!

[nutcracker]

How about you give her a choice of 2 and she has to decide there and then. Once she has decided tell her you've booked it.