I don't get presents since I was 28, more or less at the time when we moved out of the country, but I get a long phone call from my family in the early hours of my birthday with a Mexican happy birthday serenade in the background.
I believe that what your friend may be offended about it's about the attitude of her mother. My sister once told me if it was OK for her not to give Xmas presents on Christmas as she didn't have any money (we have all got her presents by then), it did annoy me as she is the only one in the family who allows herself to spend one thousand dollars in a handbag, so I found difficult not to read her question as "see, I find more important to spend all this money in fashion so I decided that you were not so high in my list of priorities so decided not to spend any money/time in you"