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Original poster

To think that a child of almost eleven should really not still be sharing a bed with her parents?

67 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 06/09/2008 18:55

Every night. No SN. Apart from the fact that this is just plain weird, what must it do for the parents' sex life?

OP posts:
misdee · 06/09/2008 18:56

do the parents have a problem with it?

aGalChangedHerName · 06/09/2008 18:57

I love co-sleeping and have done it with all 4 of mine.

However i would not want to be sharing a bed with my 11 year old!!

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 06/09/2008 18:58

Misdee - the father definitely does!

OP posts:
bobsyouruncle · 06/09/2008 18:59

Oh god this is scaring me as we co-sleep with ds (4) and I thought it wouldn't go on for much longer!?

Soapbox · 06/09/2008 19:02

My DD is 10yo and only occasionally comes into bed with us now, usually only if something is bothering her. I cannot imagine why it would be unacceptable for her to sleep with us if she wants to!

If she was a more troubled child, she would sleep with us more no doubt, and I would never deny her the comfort that she was seeking from us.

themildmanneredstalker · 06/09/2008 19:03

ds1 who is 8 always wants to sleep in our bed if dh is away.
he knows it is no go otherwise-there just isn't space!

4andnotout · 06/09/2008 19:04

My parents joked that when i got married i would still have to come home and sleep in their bed everynight as i used to sleepwalk into the bottom of their bed until i was about 13-14! Infact i shared a bed with my mum the day dd1 was born when i was 19!

cornsilk · 06/09/2008 19:04

Does she stay there all night? Do they move her when she's asleep?

nell12 · 06/09/2008 19:05

If a child is 11 and has no SN... then they need to be able to be emotionally mature enough to be able to sleep by themselves in their own bed...

Of course they should be allowed to jump into bed with mum and dad on the odd occasion; if needing comfort etc,

But every night?

Overmydeadbody · 06/09/2008 19:06

Sex life isn't confined to the bedroom or bed though is it?

MrsTittleMouse · 06/09/2008 19:10

When you have children it's usually confined to the bedroom though, isn't it? And if she's 11 the chances are that she's started/starting to go through puberty herself.

allgonebellyup · 06/09/2008 19:13

my ds has always slept with me, and he is at school now.
God help me if he is still in my bed at 11.

policywonk · 06/09/2008 19:17

I don't see why anyone should have a problem with this if the family is happy with it. All over the world, entire families share sleeping spaces. Happened in the UK until relatively recently, unless you were wealthy. Sex needn't be the #1 priority in family life.

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 06/09/2008 19:18

All night, every night. She won't sleep on her own. She came here for a sleepover once and ended up sharing a bed with DD1 who was not impressed.

No problem with the occasional visit to the bedroom, but every night, at 11?

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 06/09/2008 19:18

If the dad isn't happy with it then there is a problem. Clearly.

Overmydeadbody · 06/09/2008 19:20

Agree with policywonk.

If the father has a problem with it, then they need to resolve the issue.

But if he didn't have a problem with it it's not actually wrong is it?

Is it MrsTittle? It isn't for me.

OrmIrian · 06/09/2008 19:24

Not something I'd like particuarly. Long term anyway. Sometimes my 9yr old comes into bed with us and there isn't enough room these days.

We coslept with all of ours for a while. And all of them went to sleep in our bed and then were transferred to their own later, until they were all 4 I suppose.

The sex question always rears it's head when co-sleeping is mentioned. As if bed, at night time is the only place for it - actually it's my least favourite time and not my favourite place.

mumblechum · 06/09/2008 19:25

It sounds v v odd to me. Sounds like the mum maybe still wants to treat the girl as a baby. How is she otherwise? Very clingy?

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 06/09/2008 19:28

I don't think she's particularly clingy, no. But she won't sleep unless they're there with her. Her mother goes up and stays with her until she's asleep, and if they're not up there within the hour, in bed with her, she wakes up and comes downstairs to find them.

OP posts:
MrsTittleMouse · 06/09/2008 19:30

I can understand liking variety in time and place. I just don't understand how it's possible to have the time and privacy when you have small children. Except when you ship them off to the grandparents of course.

nell12 · 06/09/2008 20:51

It is scary to think that an 11 y-o with no sn needs company to get to sleep and then will not sleep on her own.

How will she cope with school trips? sleep-over parties?

Her poor mum to have to be with her every night till she goes to sleep... do her parents ever get to have an evening out together? I can see why her dad is getting a bit miffed

Not a very healthy family dynamic imho

morocco · 06/09/2008 20:53

none of anyone else business really, is it?

LaDiDaDi · 06/09/2008 20:55

I wouldn't be happy if that was what was happening in my house tbh. It sounds like this behaviour has given the girl huge control over her parents lives.

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 06/09/2008 20:56

No, absolutely none of my business, but that doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on it, does it?

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 06/09/2008 21:02

I feel sorry for her - Is she going to do that when she is 16? 21?