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Original poster

OVERWHELMED! Please come and help me sort my life/house/money out!

31 replies

BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:20

I need a slap, sleep, and a hug -- and some advice.

My life is in near-chaos, almost every corner of it has something nasty lurking and I need to sort it out, but looking at it is overwhelming!

Things I need to do:

  • Write a book (so need to fit regular hours into every day for work)

  • Look after my 5 y/o and 6 month DS

  • De-clutter and clean (thoroughly) the house

  • Lose weight! 3 stone

  • Sort out our finances - everything from switching providers, to reclaiming bank charges and everything else on Moneysavingexpert.com

Oh God... Where do I start? It's got so bad, everytime I start doing something, I convince myself I should be doing something else, so end the day having done fark-all except the very basics of housey stuff, like laundry, etc.

I know I didn't get into a mess in a day so shouldn't expect to get out of it in one day... But I need tips on where to start. Do I start cleaning one room every day? Do I write a timetable? Do i devote one night a week to money, one to decluttering...?

HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE HELP!

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Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:22

Plus, I want to have some time left over for life!

I have thought of one thing: when DS goes back to school, I can walk him there every morning and that will combine transport with health/weight-loss. So that's one thing done. But the rest... OMG.

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Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:24

Oh, and cooking: I want to cook LO all his nice meals, and have them neatly stored in freezer. But DH doesn't eat meat so I end up doing 1 meal for me and DS1, something similar but meat-free for DH, then a different baby-meal for DS2...

It's chaos.

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Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:24

Is this too daunting? Are you all just thinking, "Bloody Hell, sod that! It's impossible!" or similar?

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JackieNo · 27/08/2008 23:25

Have you looked at the Flylady threads at all? It's all based round doing a little bit at a time (15 minute chunks) and gradually getting on top of the housework.

Does the baby have a large-ish nap during the day at all? I'd use that time to write - the baby can be around you while you're cleaning, but you probably need the peace and quiet to write. Then maybe another hour or 2 in the evening, once they're in bed?

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:26

I have absolurtely NO idea where to start, but i want to start making progress every day. I don't care if it's slow-going... by Christmas I'd like to see real improvements in all these areas.

Should I get a cleaner in to do a massive all-over clean? Then do maintenance?

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JackieNo · 27/08/2008 23:26

Oh, and have a hug - or possibly a comforting pat on the back .

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:27

Thanks, JackieNo! FlyLady is a good idea... A very good idea. I have the book somewhere. I like the idea of chunks. Yes, LO sleeps and I can write then (when DS1 goes back to school.) By the evening I'm too tired, so can devote evenings to mindless stuff, like... cooking?

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JackieNo · 27/08/2008 23:29

Oh yes - you could do some batch cooking, so you don't have to worry about cooking every night.

undercovercat · 27/08/2008 23:30

Housework/decluttering- a drawer a day/week, depending on how enthusiastic you are.
Get a bin in each room and 2 boxes, one for going up, one for going down.
Do 15 minutes flusters. Set a timer and do a dash, throwing things in bin, putting wash on etc.

JackieNo · 27/08/2008 23:31

Today's flylady thread - they're very friendly. I think they do a new one every day.

JackieNo · 27/08/2008 23:31

And meal planning - before you go shopping, work out what you'll have each evening, and buy accordingly - saves time and money.

JackieNo · 27/08/2008 23:32

I reckon if you could afford to get a cleaner in, it would give you a boost, but you need to do the decluttering too (speaking as someone who only this last weekend got round to throwing out last year's Christmas cards).

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:36

You girls are fab, as ever! Love these ideas. LOVE them. Best of all is feeling that I'm not alone in this! Really. I have these visions that everyone else's lives are perfect and I'm the only one feeling like a failure.

I could definitely get sorted by Christmas, couldn't I? Yes I could.

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Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:37

When do I tackle our finances?

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undercovercat · 27/08/2008 23:44

Sort your finances one afternoon when you have decluttered the room and can sit with a cuppa.
Write a list, and then get looking on MSE.
Also if things are really getting you down, get a BIG box, lob all the crap in it and hoover.

llareggub · 27/08/2008 23:45

Small steps.

Put aside 15 minutes or so a day and get cracking!

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 27/08/2008 23:53

You lot rule! I'm writing all these tips down! Love the one about lobbing everything into a box and Hoovering. Just know that'd work.

JackieNo, thanks so much for the FlyLady link, just read lots of it and it's perfect!

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claudiaschiffer · 28/08/2008 00:23

Beautiful, don't get too down love, we've all been there. It's very difficult getting on top of things when you have babies.

I always thought that having a messy house didn't really bother me but having recently given it a big tidy up/declutter the difference in how I feel about being here is fantastic.

Is there anyway you can get childcare for your baby for a day and either get a cleaning company in or have a nice friend over to help get most of it sorted all at once? I reckon a couple of people really going at the house - do one room at a time - for a day will totally make a difference.

FlyLadies main recommendation is to get a timer and set it for 15 mins at a time and really go HARD at it for that time, you will be amazed at what you can achieve in a short time. This is great for tackling those jobs that always need to be done, ie hoovering, dusting, bathrooms etc.

Good idea to walk DS to school - very good for all of you.

I think it's a good idea to tackle one area of your life at a time, otherwise it's all too overwhelming and it seems easier just to bury one's head in the sand. For me it would make sense to give the house a ma-hoosive clean up then that would free you to have space to tackle the finances and do your writing.

Go on, do it tomorrow xxx

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 28/08/2008 10:00

Thanks! What a lovely message. I can't do it today (no childcare, both kids here) but next week, when DS1 is back at school, I can devote 3 days to it. Day 1: declutter. Day 2: Downstairs clean; Day 3: Upstairs clean.

I think maybe it's the clutter that's getting to me; DH refuses to throw anything away!

I'll also book a windowcleaner for Day 3, and arrange cleaners to come round regularly after that.

Thanks so much! You are all so brill and helpful.

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Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 28/08/2008 10:28

shameless bump, in case anyone else brilliant has some fab ideas...

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jesuswhatnext · 28/08/2008 11:52

hi beautiful - i love your sort of question as i'm a right bossy mare and know just what to do

when decluttering, be RUTHLESS with clothes, just bag up any you don't want and send to recyle or charity shop - if you are then inundated with laundry (this includes bed linen and towels) just ofr once take them and have them service washed at the launderette. (frees you up to continue decluttering!)

buy some nice boxes for toys (again be ruthless, if they are no longer played with they GO!)

if you have a lot of rubbish to get rid of, hire a skip, they are not too expensive but will be expensive enough that you will HAVE to make full use of it! iyswim

next, when fully decluttered, wash your paintwork down, get a proper carpet cleaner in, a window cleaner and an oven cleaning company (i know this all costs money but you seem to have implied that you could afford a bit of help)

set up a desk affair if you don't already have one and sort paper work one evening with dh (no reason why he should'nt help), then get an independent financial adviser in to have a good look at everything, you'll be surprised what a good one can come up with!

as to fitness, doing all the above will be setting you on the road to losing weight

hope my 'older woman' bossiness helps, i have been running a home for longer than i care to remember and i know how hard it can be when everything becomes overwhelming

claudiaschiffer · 28/08/2008 12:26

Yes yes yes, be ruthless, you won't regret it. Jesuswhatnext speaks the truth you know.

Get some lovely storage for things you want to keep but don't need out all the time - clothes/albums/toys etc.

Ooo I feel really excited for you. I absolutely love chucking stuff out - it's so liberating. Get rid of DH on the day you declutter - you don't want anyone telling you to keep old piles of rubbish. He probably won't notice what has gone anyway. Maybe, just to be fair, give him a box beforehand and make him put in it everything he feels he has to keep then you can just chuck the rest.

So exciting!

jesuswhatnext · 28/08/2008 12:35

claudia, i wish we could both 'get amongst' beautifuls house!, i reckon with us two whrilwinds we could have the lot done in 24 hours!

claudiaschiffer · 28/08/2008 12:43

ha ha, yes, wouldn't it be great. We could send her and DH off for the day, we'd blitz the place and they'd come home to some kind of Zen temple

claudiaschiffer · 28/08/2008 12:44

Probably frighten the life out of them