Would you tell your husband if a child was not his? Or would you take the secret to the grave if there was no way anyone would ever find out?

[PalmaBeach]

Lets say you are married and already have one child with youre husband. Say if you cheated on a bussiness trip it was a short fling and the man lives in a diffrent city you will definetly never see him again.

Let's say you get pregnant by the other man. If you (like it's not possible in real live) but if you knew it would never come out that the baby isn't youre husbands. Like the child didn't have any health issues where it could come out.

Would you tell him anyway or take the secret to the grave.

BTW I would never do something like this. I just wanted to see peopels oppinins.

Of course it will come out, as soon as the kid does an ancestry dna test.

That secret's coming to the grave with me.

I think paternity fraud is one of the most appalling things you can do to a man and it should be a crime.

Coming to the grave (and hoping they never do a DNA test)

I know it could come out. It's a hypothetical scenario not real life. And in that hypothetical scenarion it dosent.

To me it is way bigger than would you tell your husband. The person who is most important is the child. Imagine one day your grown up child finds out their father was never their father. It wouldn’t be right and I wouldn’t keep it a secret for that reason

Also I couldn’t live a lie like that, it would break me!

My sister and I have suspicions about our brothers father. We both look very like my dad but he is often asked if he is Iranian or Spanish, his skin tone is olive and he has black hair. My mum is blonde and blue eyed and he doesn’t have any of my dad’s features. We don’t dare to ask

This is the plot of one of the novels on the Booker shortlist announced yesterday.

I'd keep it a secret. If he is sleeping with you then your husband can reasonably expect to be the father even if he technically is not.

I wouldn't cheat, but if I ended up pregnant (which would be the result of a crime), I would be honest.
What if there's a medical issue? Or when you all give blood in the future, the kid is the "wrong" type?
Plus there's DNA tests easily available now.
And every child has a right to know their mum and dad, and all medical history.

Worst case-what if the daughter I had met business man's son, from his wife, so she was about to date her step brother? People who don't know their dad really have ended up dating close relatives.

How would you explain if the child looks nothing like your husband paternity fraud is terrible it's also very easy to have a DNA test these days

I think it's seriously cruel not to tell

Own it.

Thinking of doing something risky to become Mum but as I said to my donor I couldn’t trap someone who is so, so against baby/pregnancy, I mean it would have been perfect oh I’m menopausal so no periods but I just cannot do that.

Dreading the end but got to be done,

Yeah I would never do something like this. But I often read other threats on here and plenty of women advise other women to hide 1-2 years affairs from their husbands. And tbh I think that that is already vile. So I just thaught ill post this hypothetical question cos I wanted to see what they would say.

My brother doesn't look like my dad at all. My ds doesn't look like his dad but he's definitely his.

Theoretically I'd take it to the grave, I'm sure more of this went on in the past than anyone knows, but realistically these days the dad and kid is likely to find out. And you'd be an absolute disgrace having had a fling and continuing the pregnancy, and keeping a lifelong secret as massive as that.

Who would be the criminal the man and the woman or just the woman?

I have no idea what I do, because in order to be betray my husband by cheating in the first place I'd have to be a lot more dishonest than I am, so who knows what more dishonest version of me would do. Me me would tell, but me me would never be in that position.

I wouldn't tell if it was guaranteed to never come out.

If one of my dc turned out to not be mine (got given the wrong baby in hospital) I couldn't care less and wouldnt want to know. It wouldn't make any difference to how I felt about them.

You'd have to be some kind of sociopath to keep that a secret

Came here to say this - I read this and enjoyed it!

I can't keep secrets or tell lies, it would tear me apart. I'd come clean.

My GP had 4 DC. The 2nd eldest is not my grandfathers. My Grandma planned to take it to the grave, but karma had other ideas. They did not divorce and we all pretended the child and subsequent grandchildren were his. I think if they were of this generation it would be different.

I was that child and whole-heartedly agree. Although in my case my mum had told my dad about the short fling. They didn't know paternity for sure and kept it hidden until a medical test unravelled the situation when I was in my early 20s. It was very hard to come to terms with.

I have an over developed conscience so I couldn’t cheat let alone the rest of it. Dd2 has a very different nature to dh the opposite of him and nothing like him facially but has his physique and hands and feet so he is safe!