Hello 👋 I'm not expecting anyone to have been in this situation before but even if someone could tell me what they would do it would really be appreciated.
My cousin is a drug addict and has been in an on off relationship with her baby daddy for years, also a drug addict and a violent thug who has beaten her up on multiple occasions. However for some reason she will defend and go back to him every single time, I'm thinking it's co-dependency for the drugs.
They have 2 children, a 5 year old with additional needs (global delay, autism and ADHD) and a 16 month old. The poor kids have been through the ringer with those 2 as parents in their little lives, living in a slum of a house and watching their parents fist fight constantly. Being passed from pillar to post as the parents would rather get off their head than be a loving stable home. The 5 year old has terrible meltdowns and can become very aggressive, not his fault as this has obviously been learned.
My auntie (her mum) has the kids most days. She has her own struggles with health and is a recovering alcoholic but she tries her hardest for those babies. My cousin turns up at my aunties house willy nilly out of her mind, sneaking drugs into her house while she's looking after her children and understandably has called the police a few times to have her removed and her baby dad has shown up and put her windows through, not once but twice.
Obviously social services are involved in this and they have been trying their best to get my cousin help but she is also a compulsive liar and has told social services that my auntie is the drug user and not her and her issues with alcohol in the past (cut her nose off to spite her face, the woman was willing to take her kids on full time when the inevitable happens). My other family members have washed their hands of my cousin and want nothing to do with her. Anyway, I have had a phone call from my auntie today saying that social services wanted my number to speak with me about possibly taking both the children if it came down to it.
Here's my predicament, I absolutely adore my cousin's children, I call them my niece and nephew, they're so young and I feel very very deeply sorry for them and how their little lives are starting out. I try my best to help my auntie out when I can, taking them out and giving her a break or just going to her house with my little girl who's 6, who also loves them very dearly. However, we've just got our little life as a duo together, new house, new job for me that's only term time so I can spend my holidays with her.
I don't want anymore children of my own as one is enough for me and I won't lie it's not a walk in the park, some days it's so mentally draining. The possibility of taking on 2 more children is absolutely sending me into a spiral. My nephew's aggression is a factor and his needs can make him very challenging, he sometimes lashes out at my daughter who's had her fair share of bruises and bites from him. The other thing is how I would manage with work and childcare with them. I think the thing that is scaring me the most is if the parent's find out I have their children and come here, putting the 3 children in danger and I'm on my own.
The police have put multiple injunctions and non mol orders in place and that doesn't stop the psycho of a father at all. I don't want to see those babies being put into care but my daughter comes first...I don't want to sound like an uncaring cow because this is killing me inside and I won't lie, I've shed a few tears tonight just thinking about it. I haven't had anyone contact me yet but still.
What would anyone do in this situation? Or does anyone have any experience of taking on children like this? Thank you ☹️