Munchausens by proxy (made up illnesses)

[Lovernotafighter83]

myself and several other people strongly believe someone in our family suffers from Munchausens Disorder (faking illnesses).

We’ve thought it for many years and there’s a wealth of concerning evidence. Said person is family by marriage and other than this, a totally lovely person.

For many years there’s been illness after illness after illness, even operations which we have questioned whether they were needed. There’s just too many to list. Every single conversation is medical and about something that is currently going on - it’s exhausting, but we’re all polite and respectful and of course, everyone gets ill at times, so some of it will be genuine, I’m sure.

However, children have since come along and we’re now starting to notice this with them (so this would be Munchausens by Proxy).

What does one do with this situation? I don’t feel at all I can confront this without there being family consequences. It’s not my business or my place, but whose is it? The medical professionals don’t seem to be putting 2&2 together.

The latest is that said person has been told their 4 year old has ‘severe’ ADHD (even though no test will be done until 6/7) they they should claim DLA and consider a blue badge due to the child being a flight risk. Has anyone else had this advice before?

I have been through this process, my view is that no medical professional would say this about a 4 year old who frankly, has no glaringly obvious symptoms (but I’m sure behind closed doors there are testing times).

I have no idea what to do.

Some of us have had to study half a medical degree to get diagnosed a child ir family member.
You need to be very very very sure to throw your Munchhausen card. Some patients are neglected for years by doctores before a diagnosis.

This is very important but there is a world of difference between a parent who is desperately trying to advocate for their child and a parent who has their own mental health needs that they are projecting onto their child. Again, if support is available ( and I know that is a very big if!!!) then it is in the child’s best interests for the adult to get this support . Very many people are understandably extremely wary and sceptical of social services but the idea of social work is to support and advocate for the individuals involved and make their lives better not worse.I remember seeing the videos from the hospital I worked at of what some parents were doing to their children to eg. Induce them to stop breathing and it’s pretty horrible.

Of course it is but a lot of people are fobbed off by NHS.

You can send a letter to the gp, voicing your concerns. They won’t be able to discuss anything with you, but it may make them look at the records afresh.

Report them.
A teacher family member had a kid in her class with a bat shit mother like this who was bringing him in to school in a wheelchair and medicating him. It took a while but she eventually lost custody. Did avoid jail though.

I grew up with a mother who had Munchausens although no one had heard of the condition back then in the 1950s-60s. What we did know if that she gloried in being ill and having the attention of doctors, nurses, pharmacists and so on. Failing that she would settle for the constant attention of anyone handy. Relatives, neighbours, the postman --- all were subjected to her tales of woe.

If there had been an internet or Google back then mum would have had a field day. Instead she had a collection of medical books. She probably suffered from every obscure condition known to humanity.

The family used to dread any special event, Christmas, birthdays, weddings, funerals (especially funerals) or just simple days out. My mother would be sure to have one of her "turns". Looking back I realise now that many of these were panic attacks with physical symptoms which I recognise in myself. To be fair my mother did have some physical ailments for which hospital visits were necessary. Well she gloried in these. She would sit by the phone and ring, Ring and RING until she had informed you of her impending stay. I escaped a lot of this when I moved to another city for uni and never moved back. There were only landlines.

Thank heavens there were no smart phones or mobiles back then.