Need advice Socials are against ex partner so are family but I want to be with home now I'm pregnant

[Butterflypink02]

Hi long story short socials Habe been in my family for the last 2 years be aise my ex husband had made up that I was in a DV relationship with my partner. My partner at the time has a colourful past and we have argued and police Habe been involved. At the time I hate him and end up doing statement against him. He hasn't been charged with Nothing but was put on bail that lasted 9 months as CPS were taking ages despite me complaining I didn't want this. Socials Habe been involved since and have done a risk assessment saying he can not be in a relationship with me or have Contact with my children from.my.ex husband. My ex husband has some his share of abuse and has taken the children out of school when or was agreed or was my day with the children.
Wind to last year socials were in agreement they were going to step down and everything is going good then an incident happened that I had no control over and my kids were present. I needed the relationship. Socials continues to call me a lier and put my children on co plan. This has now ended. And I have seen him on and off the past year. Socials Have made it clear that he is a risk. So anyways a few weeks ago we needed up having a night of S which has now turned into a positive pregnancy test ( we was trying for over a year and I had tests and we found it was him that couldnt get pregnant). So now I've found out I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. How will socials react? Are they allowed to stop contact of I tell them I want to resume?

OP ask yourself if you can bring your kids up in a safe, loving and happy home because that’s is the standard. Does this man help make your home safe, loving or happy (for your kids) or does he do the opposite? A colourful past is a nice way of saying that he has done bad things. As your police incident proved, his past is still his present and pregnant woman/newborns can be the most vulnerable.

If your life has been as chaotic as it sounds, you might think that is normal life your kids are coping, but coping isn’t good enough. They deserve better than having a man deemed to be a risk around them. They look to you to keep them away from risk and harm so do that. Plenty of parents everyday put aside their own desires and wants so that their kids come first. This part and parcel of parenting.

I don’t think that you are thinking rationally here. You are viewing Social services as the enemy rather than people who are trying to protect your kids not only from him but also from you, if you continue to put your relationship before them. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad but so that you recognise that if (god forbid) something happens to one of your children you will bear the responsibility too. The news is littered with parents who have given unsafe people access to their homes and children. Have you seen and heard these? Have you read the threads on here of adults traumatised by parents who chose partners over them? Don’t do this, wake up and seek help for yourself so you can learn what healthy relationships look like .

Your ex is a separate issue but right now the priority is your current partner. The social services are not here to make him better for you. They need you to change your life so that your home is safe for your children. If you won’t do that then they will make the decisions for you.