Need advice Socials are against ex partner so are family but I want to be with home now I'm pregnant

[Butterflypink02]

Hi long story short socials Habe been in my family for the last 2 years be aise my ex husband had made up that I was in a DV relationship with my partner. My partner at the time has a colourful past and we have argued and police Habe been involved. At the time I hate him and end up doing statement against him. He hasn't been charged with Nothing but was put on bail that lasted 9 months as CPS were taking ages despite me complaining I didn't want this. Socials Habe been involved since and have done a risk assessment saying he can not be in a relationship with me or have Contact with my children from.my.ex husband. My ex husband has some his share of abuse and has taken the children out of school when or was agreed or was my day with the children.
Wind to last year socials were in agreement they were going to step down and everything is going good then an incident happened that I had no control over and my kids were present. I needed the relationship. Socials continues to call me a lier and put my children on co plan. This has now ended. And I have seen him on and off the past year. Socials Have made it clear that he is a risk. So anyways a few weeks ago we needed up having a night of S which has now turned into a positive pregnancy test ( we was trying for over a year and I had tests and we found it was him that couldnt get pregnant). So now I've found out I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. How will socials react? Are they allowed to stop contact of I tell them I want to resume?

I would imagine they will seek to remove the baby at birth if they feel you can’t or won’t protect the baby.

For gods sake. Ditch this bloke. I would not continue the pregnancy

They can't stop you seeing him

They can take baby and childen away from you if you do so

My partner at the time has a colourful past and we have argued and police Habe been involved. At the time I hate him and end up doing statement against him.

Why would you want a man like this around your children? I'd say stay far away from him but it'll be difficult now that you're expecting a child with him. Social services will be very involved in your life now.

What is wrong with you that you perused a relationship with a man that risks your children’s safety ?

I needed the relationship.

No, you need to prioritise your children’s wellbeing.

You can continue seeing whoever you wish. Your children however will most likely be taken off (rightly so) as you are refusing to consider their needs and safety.

I needed the relationship.

It is the last thing you need. Your children need their mother. As my mum says "You need to Mam up!" and do what your children need.

Your poor children (including your unborn child). I hope SS do step in and protect them because it seems like you don't want to.

Let’s hope ‘socials’ continue to try to protect your children from this shit show

This whole situation sounds volatile and your children need to be protected from it.

Another mother putting her own needs before those of her child(ren).

Rinse and repeat.

Yep! Cock before kids again.

Is it me or does this keep happening all the time now

My questions also is they have never seemed help for me or my ex partner, I had told them I would like to resume in the past and they did not give options to help us. There is no DV but head say and my ex husband has stayed other wise. Why would you think they would remove a baby of there is no DV?

It sounds as if you are in a domestic abuse relationship with him though.

Get control of your life - you don’t need any of these thing - you may want them but they aren’t needs

they will take your baby away unless you stay away from him

I hope Social Services continue to try and protect your children from harm, whatever path that may take.

You don't "need" this relationship. You should be in a relationship where you are respected safe and feel cared for. You should be an equal partner in a relationship. This guy you are with sounds like a very inappropriate person to be in a relationship with. I am not surprised SS are involved.

So whst were the incidents then?

Because by your own admission this isn’t a good relationship. Try acting like a responsible parent for a change, remember that one of the triggers for a bad relationship escalating into a really bad and dangerous relationship is a new baby. And it might not just be dangerous for you, it could be very dangerous, physically and emotionally for the baby. Which is why I hope SS do take the baby from you if you insist on carrying on with him.

My children haven't witnessed anything as they had been arguements when they are not here. My kids have only with eased abuse from my ex husband which socials won't touch even though I have distress this over and over again.

Social services are overwhelmed by people in genuine need. You sound like you are making bad choices which you are in control of so you don’t need help, you just need to make better choices. One of which is to stay away from this man.

Yes I can understand that but when there is no DV their risks are hear say from my ex husband

Absolutely this. You appear to be completely unable to safeguard and prioritise this babies welfare.

I can understand this but I mentioned it was my ex husband that told socials this bit it's not true. When I say colourful past I'm talking when he was a kid.

Please don’t have a baby now, this is not the right time or situation.

I don't want socials involvement. I spoke to them as I had been told that my ex husband had called them. When the incident that happened was him causing problems to me. But me letting them in to speak about the abuse of my ex husband they have just ignored me. So I've had to delay with contrast abuse from my ex husband through socials.